Last Man Standing
Join Date: Aug 2008
Thanked 183 Times in 176 Posts
Rep Power: 10
Okay - so I think I was partially wrong here (hey, that's at least something, right?).
It's true that I did miss what had been written by Doug and deleted by Jeff. And I have no doubt that Jeff was fair in removing it, and fair in banning Doug for it because I have no doubt that Jeff had given Doug warning. Jeff's a pretty damn good moderator from what I've seen (as are all the other current mods).
The reason I say that it sucks and that it didn't need to happen is this...put yourself in Doug's shoes. He came on here and spilled his guts...outlining his mistakes and failures...which I think was very gutsy and very valuable from a learning perspective. At first, it went very well, then several things happened (which are seemingly inevitable on any forum):
1. People started relentlessly picking at his mistakes and failures...not commiserating with his mistakes and failures (i.e. - we all make them)...but picking at them as if "he should have known that the chainplate would break", etc.
2. Doug got increasingly defensive (which is perfectly understandable).
3. Doug expressed a very dogmatic viewpoint of what happened and what should have happened during the rescue.
4. Most everyone, especially me I guess, disagreed with that viewpoint and argued hard against it.
5. Doug got even more defensive (which is perfectly understandable).
6. Doug started going super nova, probably because of 1 and 4.
7. We're all still here - he ain't.
We've seen this stuff play out many times.
Again, I say it didn't need to happen for 2 reasons. First, granted, Doug had no business physically threatening people. That's ridiculous. He should have been able to see the bigger picture. That's on him. But second, and more importantly in my opinion, in cases like Doug's we members should make each other give the dude some air - and stop being so damn tender ourselves. Of course he's going to blow if he feels the entire world is against him. We should call each other out more if we're needlessly hammering on the guy...instead of complaining to the freakin' mods when he starts swinging back.
Sure, Doug broke the rules, but we shouldn't feel good about that if we all pushed him to the edge so he'd jump.
I wrote some pretty harsh responses to Doug in this thread because I was pissed he was hammering the KJ people so much - what I saw as completely errant hammering. If members here think that I was too harsh with that, I should be called out on it...in the thread - not a pm. Same with anyone else here. That creates some air for a dude like Doug because he sees he has a bit of backup.
Now, on the other hand, I understand you can't give a dude who's going supernova a complete pass. That's not what I'm saying. Doug stuck it out WAY longer than I thought he would, but he wasn't able to get past some of the pickers - and just lost it. He was pretty unreasonable in much of this.
But again, he lost his boat and almost freakin' died at sea. Back to the shoes.
I'm writing all this crap because I am VERY interested in what people that were caught in the sh&t have to say about it. I learn a lot from that. We all do.
I don't care so much what exactly got them there - because, just as Doug said, no one is good enough to never get caught with their pants down. (grin) Look at Puma.
As LL points out above, it's not NEARLY as bad around here as it used to be in this regard. i just hope it's always a place where new-member sailors can come and freely talk about their successes and failures so we can all learn something.
Now, raise your glasses to one of the most epic and most viewed threads ever on SN.
[Turn off teleprompter and cue "Hail To The Chief"]
S/V Dawn Treader - 1989 Hunter Legend 40
Last edited by smackdaddy; 12-01-2011 at 11:31 AM.