Uh Oh.....This may be a deal breaker.... - Page 5 - SailNet Community
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post #41 of 79 Old 10-17-2011 Thread Starter
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Im going to take it easy, give her some time. Ease her into it. Gonna go out again with the previous owners...they are a couple and friends of ours. I think if she has another woman there, then it won't be so tough. I think she thought it was going to be calm, when I knew it was going to be choppy. In my experience, its ALWAYS choppy outside of Newport Beach. I hope I'm wrong! I'd like to get to Catalina, Dana Point, Oceanside, etc.

S/V Cuajota - 1975 WD Schock Santana 30

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post #42 of 79 Old 10-17-2011
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Originally Posted by ArcherBowman View Post
I hate to say it, as I am a monohull guy the the core, but have you considered a catamaran? It's been my experience that they sail flatter and more sea-kindly that monohulls of the same size. It might save your marriage. Giving up a wife is hard.
well, sea kindly in good weather. I bet you never sailed one with heavy weather....well, neither I, but the guys that have done that don't have the same opinion

Regards

Paulo
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post #43 of 79 Old 10-17-2011
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Move up 10ft, back 30 years, and up 6 tons. She will have a little more room and it'll handle more like a Rover. Seasmoke would also fit. I mean, it's not as big as a 50ft but drop dead gorgeous. Anyway, you get the idea. Toss in a Hobie for when you need an adrenalin scream.
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post #44 of 79 Old 10-17-2011
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In my yacht club I would guess the majority of the wives either don't go on the boat at all or only under limited conditions. There is also a fair number that are darn good sailors and enjoy being out on the water in a variety of conditions. I happen to be one of the lucky ones who has a wife that likes to sail despite haven been caught out in some nasty and tense situations over 35 years of sailing. The boat gets hauled tomorrow and she remarked she was sorry to see the season end. I am a REALLY lucky guy.

You have received a lot of good advice here. I think its worth trying to reach some accomodation on this issue. One possible solution to consider if things don't get better is a larger heavier boat. I recently moved up from a racy 30 footer to a 33 foot racer-cruiser. The new boat is actually significantly faster than the old one and the level of comfort in heavier weather and waves is substantial. You don't need to move up to a 50 foot floating condo with a mast to improve the situation.
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post #45 of 79 Old 10-17-2011
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Late to this discussion, but you've gotten some good advice... Basically sometimes you just have to take the time to gradually allow someone to adjust to the conditions out there.

We often turned back in the early days if conditions were such that she was uncomfortable.. patience and understanding worked eventually - it was the first week long cruise at the end of our first summer (on a skinny little 24 footer) that really turned her around.

Unfortunately I don't think your sailing area is that kind of environment..

Ron

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post #46 of 79 Old 10-17-2011
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Newbie,
You are a lucky guy, your wife actually gets on the boat. My wife gave me the money to buy the boat. Sounds good right? Actually it was a test, which I failed miserably by actually buying the boat. Whats worse, I bought a boat with her in mind, not realizing there was no chance she'd ever get on board. Then I found out the boat had some serious problems, and instead of lazy summers on the boat all I've had for 3 years is a large marina payment, and hour upon hour down inside grinding and glassing. Every time I go down to work on it I get an earful about how much this hole in the water costs. You'd think she'd get it by now, 32 years and I punched her in the eye on our second date, starting the outboard on my first sailboat!

So yeah I envy you!

Gary H. Lucas
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post #47 of 79 Old 10-18-2011
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newbie,
you are a lucky guy, your wife actually gets on the boat. My wife gave me the money to buy the boat. Sounds good right? Actually it was a test, which i failed miserably by actually buying the boat. whats worse, i bought a boat with her in mind, not realizing there was no chance she'd ever get on board. Then i found out the boat had some serious problems, and instead of lazy summers on the boat all i've had for 3 years is a large marina payment, and hour upon hour down inside grinding and glassing. Every time i go down to work on it i get an earful about how much this hole in the water costs. You'd think she'd get it by now, 32 years and i punched her in the eye on our second date, starting the outboard on my first sailboat!

So yeah i envy you!

Gary h. Lucas
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post #48 of 79 Old 10-18-2011
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Quote:
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... You don't need to move up to a 50 foot floating condo with a mast to improve the situation.
A 50ft sailboat is not necessarily a floating condo and even those are faster than much smaller boats. A 50ft performance cruiser is a lot faster and a lot more comfortable.

The real questions are : can he afford it? and has he someone in the marina to help him to put the boat out and in?

There are 50ft sailboats that you can sail alone but they are difficult to put in and take out of the marina even with a bow thruster.

I am not saying that is the solution not even the better solution, only commenting on the "floating condo" besides wives normally love floating condos, particularly those big galleys and some of them are also very good sail boats.

Regards

Paulo

Last edited by PCP; 10-18-2011 at 01:05 PM.
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post #49 of 79 Old 10-18-2011
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I sail in Oxnard, about 60 mile north of where you Newport Newbie sail. Sunday was a great day FOR ME. It was about 15 kts of wind and 3' to 4' swells with some chop on top. We saw a few boats out that were reefed and my wife said "Why are they reefed?" After being out about 45 minutes she said Let turn around. It was a bit rough for her. So we turned around. Two years ago we would have reefed and gone out maybe 10-15 minutes.

Just take your time with her and the boat. She will get used to a little rougher conditions over time if she is not pushed. So will you.

Go out a little earlier in the morning before the wind and sea picks up. We are entering winter where the wind and sea will be rougher. You can skip some days if it is too much. We can sail all winter with out taking the boat out of the water. Take it easy and you will find a companion and shipmate. Push too hard and you will sail alone.

Take care
Faster and dhays like this.

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post #50 of 79 Old 10-18-2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewportNewbie View Post
While my wife has up to now been VERY pro-sailing...tonight we went out for an Ocean sail...to me..it was NOT that bad...maybe 3-4 foot waves...a tad bit choppy and 15-knot winds...Not a cloud in the sky. After being out for about 45 minutes, she wanted to turn back..."I have to hold on too much and this isn't how I remembered sailing 20 years ago...We used to be able to lay out on the deck.". ..So its gonna probably be the beginning of the end. At some point she will start to drop hints that we should sell the boat...then the hints will be flat out demands. Happened to the Porsche's. OR, she will want a bigger, smoother more comfortable boat. I am really trying hard to figure out a way that she can get into it more. She isn't all that interested in learning to sail, she wants to ride along comfortably.
Here are your options:

1. Ask your wife to look in her purse for your huevos, then ask (politely) if you can borrow them for awhile.

2. Take her sailing and have some friends dressed as pirates board you and do what pirates do. (she might really like this and want to go sailing all the time, especially if you tell her that there are a lot of pirates off shore).

3. Do not sell the boat, sell the wife.

4. Get the final word always by saying "yes dear"

I hope this helps with your delima...............
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