Tall Sea Tales with your tongue in cheek. - SailNet Community
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post #1 of 13 Old 11-18-2011 Thread Starter
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Tall Sea Tales with your tongue in cheek.

We really need a thread where we can tell "Tall Sea Tales" and stories with a straight face.

For instance: Now all of you know that I have a 45 foot ketch... and a sail boat that size is not the fastest vessel on the high seas... But one time while on the west coast of Florida, I received a message that I had to be in Texas the next day... Well It was Hurricane season and there was a catagory 5 blowing right then and there... So I raised my sails with the 150 Genny and those sails (this is no lie) acted like a para sail and my boat was lifted by the winds of that hurricane, carrying me along all the way over to Texas. And as that hurricane died out my boat was deposited gentely into the waters right there in Galveston Bay... Honestly would I make this up?

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post #2 of 13 Old 11-18-2011
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I've done that twice.
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post #3 of 13 Old 11-18-2011
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Three times for me...but I didn't fly the spinnaker after the first trip, too damn scary.

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post #4 of 13 Old 11-18-2011
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Once we were delivering a boat and sailing across Mass. Bay and encountered a giant 100 ft. tall Penguin. The Penguin urinated in the ocean and that caused the transmission to fail when we pulled into Marblehead for the night. And I have 4 eyewitnesses who will back up this story.

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post #5 of 13 Old 11-18-2011
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A few years ago I was hired by several attractive girls to follow the herring fleet from the Gulf of Georgia up the coast to Shearwater. It was well that I'd contracted a healthy daily rate as one of them couldn't cook and the weather was the pits in March.Other than that it was eventful.
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post #6 of 13 Old 11-18-2011
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That Penguin often times hangs out up there...not a bad chap...
other than his bladder problem and occasionally being a hazzard to navigation. We actually pulled over and stopped to get directions from him last May on the way Maine. I found the directions very
detailed and reliable however there was a minor language problem.
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post #7 of 13 Old 11-26-2011
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Sorry guys .I didn't realize that the purpose of this thread was to stretch the truth. I just calls them as I sees them.
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post #8 of 13 Old 11-27-2011
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I spent the summer sailing Great Bay in NJ. Now the head of Great Bay is in an area called the Pine Barrens, famous for its tales of the Jersey Devil. It's also know for Pineys. Pineys are rather unsightly people who live in the pines and rarely venture out into society. There are almost as many tales of Pineys as those of the Jersey Devil.

One morning I had a visit from a Piney. I was anchored overnight in a river near the head of Great Bay. The dink was tied to the stern of the boat. First thing I did when I woke up that morning was head to the cockpit...to see if we drug anchor, if we were aground in the shallow river, etc. You know, just make sure everything was ok.

The first thing I noticed was that two sodas and some snacks that were stored in the lazarette had been eaten and the cans and packaging were just thrown about. If we had been at home I would have thought raccoon..but we were 50' from land. And all the land around us was miles of marsh.

Well, when I shut the lazarette lid I discovered the culprit. Up sprung a naked, bearded, scruffy haired man who must have been sleeping in the dink! We locked eyes for about 3 to 5 seconds before he jumped into the river, swam to shore, and disappeared into the marsh grass. I guess once he felt safe, he popped his head up from the marsh grass and watched the boat for a moment before disappearing completely.

I got back to the marina about an hour later. I was going to call the police to report it. There was nothing stolen or any damage to the boat..but I thought a naked person in the middle of the marsh was pretty damn worthy of reporting. I told the story to the first dock neighbor I saw upon docking the boat. He calmly said -

"F'in Pineys. They're always getting into people's coolers looking for food."

My complete refit is taking completely too long!
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post #9 of 13 Old 11-27-2011
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When we used to drive to the in-laws often, I would entertain my boys with tall tales of Cap'n Joshua Barnacle, as capable a **** swain as ever there was, honest as the sea is salt and pious as a church mouse. Barnacle lived and loved at sea, fighting sea monsters, pirates, and dishonest crew alike. He solved all sorts of problems with chemistry, physics and a superior intellect. But, I don't suppose this is the right forum to share his story!
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post #10 of 13 Old 11-28-2011 Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DonScribner View Post
When we used to drive to the in-laws often, I would entertain my boys with tall tales of Cap'n Joshua Barnacle, as capable a **** swain as ever there was, honest as the sea is salt and pious as a church mouse. Barnacle lived and loved at sea, fighting sea monsters, pirates, and dishonest crew alike. He solved all sorts of problems with chemistry, physics and a superior intellect. But, I don't suppose this is the right forum to share his story!
The only way you will really know is to post a few of those stories

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