Actually what was described (now deleted) sounds fairly typical for essentially limited experience sailors in a new boat on what I think may have been a fairly demanding delivery although I don't know the area.
There is a big difference between crewing on a boat with a limited role under supervision and direction and taking full responsibility oneself.
The issues seem to be 1. Building competence. Training, practice in good conditions and time will build this.
2. Fear. This is not unusual. It tends to dissipate with confidence in the boat and in the competence of oneself and the crew captain. One needs to start in benign conditions, which are not threatening and build experience and competence. Gradually one's comfort zone extends. Prudence such as early reefing and watching the weather help. It can be disabling as you found, and its existence needs to be acknowledged and worked with.
3. Stuff will go wrong and mistakes will be made. Often. With experience in good conditions they will become fewer and you become used to correcting them. I mean things like jib sheets being caught, or even accidental jibes.
Cooking is an analogy. Ever burned something or left out an ingredient, or had to ask advice? Should your husband never eat your food in case?
I am not entirely sure about near accidental jibes. If they happen they are fast. If he was just going into a position where this was a possibility, a caution suffices. Yes duck or keep your head out of the way of the boom and an eye on it. They can happen, and are best avoided, but don't inevitably bring the rigging down.
My final suggestion is don't catastrophise either when sailing or over this issue. Simply you are scared, you want both of you to be competent and safe, and a way or plan to ensure you can enjoy sailing together. Relationships often involve resolving issues.