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When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
The Airplane Law
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
Allen's Law
Don't force it; get a larger hammer.
Anthony's Law of Force
Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop
On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.
Corollary to Anthony's Law of the Workshop
Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's course.
Fourth Law of Applied Terror
The night before the English History mid-term, your biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.
Corollary to the Fourth Law of Applied Terror
If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
Fifth Law of Applied Terror
If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.
Corollary to the Fifth Law of Applied Terror
If it should exist, it doesn't.
Arnold's First Law of Documentation
If it does exist, it's out of date.
Arnold's Second Law of Documentation
Only useless documentation transcends the first two laws.
Arnold's Third Law of Documentation
If you can't learn to do it well, you should learn to enjoy doing it badly.
Ashleigh's First Law
Interchangeable parts won't.
Laws of Assembly, II
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No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.
First Law of Bicycling
What you don't know will always hurt you.
First Law of Blissful Ignorance
Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.
Second Law of Blissful Ignorance
The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.
Bove's Theorem
The first pull on the cord ALWAYS sends the drapes in the wrong direction.
Boyle's Other Law
Whenever a system becomes completely defined, someone discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
Brooke's Law
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If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
Cannon's Law
You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.
Captain Penny's Law
The only things that start on time are those that you're late for.
Cayo's Law
No project was ever completed on time and within budget.
Cheops Law
Hot glass looks the same as cold glass.
Dominic Cirino's Law of Burnt Fingers
When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
Clarke's First Law
The limits of the possible can only be defined by going beyond them into the impossible.
Clarke's Second Law
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Clarke's Third Law
Shredded cabbage goes great with shredded carrots and mayonnaise.
Cole's Law
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
Laws of Computer Programming, I
Any given program costs more and takes longer.
Laws of Computer Programming, II
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
Laws of Computer Programming, III
If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
Laws of Computer Programming, IV
Any program will expand to fill available memory.
Laws of Computer Programming, V
The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
Laws of Computer Programming, VI
Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capabilities of the programmer who must maintain it.
Laws of Computer Programming, VII
Any non-trivial program contains at least one bug.
Laws of Computer Programming, VIII
Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.
Laws of Computer Programming, IX
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
Laws of Computer Programming, X