Even though I've read between 2-300 sailing books by now, I've somehow missed one of the greats: Adlard Coles, "Heavy Weather Sailing." Reading it now and learning a great deal.
Personally I've always thought that, for my boat/crew/situation a parachute sea anchor will be the first line of defense for a survival storm if heaving-to is no longer a viable option.
On S/V Fairhaven, I have a wonderful/awful 8ft long bowsprit, with associated rigging, hanging off the pointy end of the boat. This presents challenges to figuring out the best place to lead a sea anchor from. Ideally I should choose a spot that is immensely strong, has a minimum of chafe, and will hold the boat at a good angle with the rode. See picture below.
I treat my parachute as an anchor through and through. The loads are relative to being anchored. The anchor is lashed on deck, chain stoved, and the rode is passed through the bow roller with chafing leathers at the roller. I have a padeye bedded heavily amidships located just behind the aft lowers for the block which the pennant leads through and makes its way to the winch in the cockpit. The pennant on the winch means I can adjust the boats angle of attack along with the tiller all from the cockpit. getting 50^-60^ off is an art form in ugly conditions
I have a bridle set up to the stem (blue arrow) that I use for my main anchor. It's great as it reduces the needed scope and is quite strong as it is attached to the bobstay attachment point. On my rig, the bobstay is the most loaded stay. This seems like a good possibility for leading the sea anchor. It might assist the bow rising over a wave due to it's low aspect, and the fitting is man-enough for the job, but every time I would be nose-down the line might chafe (or bend) on the bobstay and dolphin striker. Also the boat might yaw quite a lot as there is quite a bit of windage (furled headsail) forward of this point.
The line WILL chafe. Being in weather where the sea-anchor is required means usually you will be in it for 24 hours or more. This means regular trips forward to adjust for chafe (the biggest issue). getting your furling headsail off sounds like a fair bit of work but if you are in a mess bad enough to need to get the sea anchor out, you might consider just that (if you cant, wrap your spare halyard over the furled sail to prevent it from unfurling. Paying out enough rode and then using a bridle to pull the boat over 50^ ought to help as well.
Scope, scope, scope. Getting the parachute to ride the crests/troughs in sync with your vessel means minimizing the issues with the bobstay.
The Anchor roller I have installed at the end of the sprit (green arrow) is pretty beefy but I have some doubts. It's 3/8 welded aluminum and uses a 5/8"stainless bolt to bolt the roller through the cranz fitting (the collar at the end of the bowsprit where all the rigging is attached) so it is, by way of the bolt, part of the rig. The lead would be free of chafe, except at the roller itself, but I worry it might try and pull the bow down, instead of helping it up as the lower point of attachment might do. Also being part of the rig means it's strong enough, but the way it attaches to that 5/8"bolt makes me worry it could shear off under huge loads.
This should be the same worry then for traditional anchoring? Does the described action happen when you you are lying at traditional anchor with comfortable scope?
Lastly is the red arrow, pointing to the fairlead up forward. This is a bronze fitting through a hefty bulwark in the bow. Since it is part of the hull/deck, I expect it is man enough for the job. It might help hold the bow slightly off center as the fairlead isn't centered. On the other hand if the boat veers the other direction, the anchor lead will be chafing across, and trying to destroy, the bowsprit and it's rigging.
Bow-on is uncomfortable (for me). When you say "veering" do you mean "tacking" (and in turn are you carrying a strorm tri or bare poles with the anchor) or just rounding and falling off every few mins?
Surfing can be generally managed with the Pardeys method of a control line to the winch, allowing you to find the sweet spot for quartering (and is the way I manage the parachute).
If the boat is yawing/veering whatever you need to get some control over that via the helm, trisail and anchor. quartering is where the comfort and safety is for me...YMMV