Am I Nuts?.....And if so, what do I do now? - SailNet Community

   Search Sailnet:

 forums  store  


Quick Menu
Forums           
Articles          
Galleries        
Boat Reviews  
Classifieds     
Search SailNet 
Boat Search (new)

Shop the
SailNet Store
Anchor Locker
Boatbuilding & Repair
Charts
Clothing
Electrical
Electronics
Engine
Hatches and Portlights
Interior And Galley
Maintenance
Marine Electronics
Navigation
Other Items
Plumbing and Pumps
Rigging
Safety
Sailing Hardware
Trailer & Watersports
Clearance Items

Advertise Here






Go Back   SailNet Community > General Interest > General Discussion (sailing related)
 Not a Member? 


Like Tree4Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 06-10-2012
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 39
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
tanksalot is on a distinguished road
Am I Nuts?.....And if so, what do I do now?

I love sailing for the adventure, peace, challenge and beauty that it brings. And I have enjoyed moorings for the sense of "coming home" that pulling up in the dinghy brings. Also, the communion with the sea that staying at a mooring brings to my mind; the quiet is also a significant plus.

My wife loves people, and now we're at a slip. At the far end. So it's quieter there, and she has her "house on the shore", and it's convenient since we have a dog. But the almost-enforced social life is driving me nuts.

This past weekend was especially bad, and so this is more of a rant than it would have been otherwise. It's evolved (for me) so that I dread the trips to/from the boat down the dock as a myriad of "hello's" and greetings that become a pain.

I don't dislike people, but I seem to have a lower than normal threshold for socialization. I'm leery of turning down invites because a) I know my wife would enjoy the company and b) because I don't want to be offensive to the "inviters".

Anyone else face this issue, and if so, what did you do? Also, do you know anyone like this, and how do you react when they appear disinterested in your company? I've even considered a second boat at a mooring, but his-her boats seems extreme and weird. But.....it's my life too, and it's not getting any longer.

Thanks in advance
Tanksalot
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #2  
Old 06-10-2012
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: currently the PNW
Posts: 25
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
Freedom007 is on a distinguished road
Re: Am I Nuts?.....And if so, what do I do now?

Oh boy !!! I feel your pain. I am in the same situation except for the wife. I live mostly aboard toward the end of a dock on purpose, however i am in the medical profession and am cont approached for dock walk diagnosis if you know what I mean. When I am on my boat and and resting or projecting I want to b left alone. Especially since I am inundated by people all day every day. I don't want to be around other folks though I do like some social exchange. It is hard to simply ignore people but I do it on occasion.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #3  
Old 06-10-2012
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 39
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
tanksalot is on a distinguished road
Re: Am I Nuts?.....And if so, what do I do now?

Freedom007:

Thanks for the response!

There DOES seem to be some sort of "accumulating buffer", so that if I'm alone for a period of time I can later enjoy other's company without feeling imprisoned. But after lots of "people time", my fuse gets very short and I don't feel I have a life of my own. That's, like, NOW.

Tanksalot
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #4  
Old 06-10-2012
BobS2's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Delaware
Posts: 39
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
BobS2 is on a distinguished road
Re: Am I Nuts?.....And if so, what do I do now?

I dread the day might have to move inside to a slip. The mooring is a far more peaceful and secluded place than 6' from a slip neighbor. Some summer weekends it sounds like a nonstop luau in there. Fun for the folks that make it their own, but not for us. I do like a beer or several but second hand drinkers' chatter is a drag. There is a marina nearby that shuttles customers back & forth to their moorings. But only daytime... What to do indeed? Stay healthy and young? One out of two will have to do for now.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #5  
Old 06-10-2012
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Above the Arctic Circle
Posts: 23
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
Somekindofaviking is on a distinguished road
Re: Am I Nuts?.....And if so, what do I do now?

You are not alone....
Most people don't realize that, just because we share the same interest/hobbies don't make us the alike....
Just because i have a Harley, and lots of tattoo's does not mean i want to join a 1% club..
Or any club for that matter...
I just don't "fit in"....
Not in a overly socialized community either...
I'm social when I want to....
But I often feel pressured into being social by friends....

I just tell my self... It is hard being popular....
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #6  
Old 06-10-2012
poopdeckpappy's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: San Diego
Posts: 5,597
Thanks: 25
Thanked 38 Times in 32 Posts
Rep Power: 10
poopdeckpappy has a spectacular aura about poopdeckpappy has a spectacular aura about
Nah, you're not nuts, we to are towards the end of the dock, we are surrounded with great people, though it tends to get really loud on the weekend till the wee hours of the AM.

Anchorages will be becoming our new weekend hide away
__________________
1978 Tayana 37

Freedom comes when youíre ready to sail away. True freedom comes when you donít have to return


Cut off from the land that bore us, betrayed by the land we find, where the brightest have gone before us and the dullest remain behind, .......but stand to your glasses, steady,.......tis all we have left to prize, raise a cup to the dead already, hurrah for the next that dies
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #7  
Old 06-10-2012
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 825
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Rep Power: 9
chris_gee is on a distinguished road
Re: Am I Nuts?.....And if so, what do I do now?

Being friendly does not mean having social encounters forced on you. Sounds a bit like assertiveness training needed.
Turning down an invitation does not cause offence. Saying "have a beer with you? When hell freezes over!" is very different to "Thanks but perhaps some other time".
You can say hello or nod or wave simply as ways of acknowledging and keep walking, rather than talk for half an hour. Or do 2 minutes of how's it going and say must press on.
Similarly if someone hangs around while you are working you can stand up and stretch and simply say after a minute or two Ok nice to see you but if you don't mind I will press on catch you some other time.
Women seem more socially interactive. No reason why your wife can't stop for a chat or coffee without you. Equally she would make social times more easily available. Sometimes a few drinks or a meal are pleasant.
If you have a lot of liveaboards around who turn up the stereo or party half the night that is a pain. Same can happen in an anchorage but here you can have a wee word more easily. Ear plugs can help too.
Faster likes this.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #8  
Old 06-10-2012
Sea Slacker
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,789
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 8
brak is on a distinguished road
Re: Am I Nuts?.....And if so, what do I do now?

Curious. I have almost an opposite problem - no one invites me anywhere Fortunately, I enjoy my alone time just fine. But I'd love to have your problem.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #9  
Old 06-10-2012
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 28
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
abode is on a distinguished road
Re: Am I Nuts?.....And if so, what do I do now?

I smile and say maybe if I can get away later. I hardly ever show. But if someone needs help I volunteer. Now I am liked on the dock but humorously known as a loner, lol. It takes time though.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #10  
Old 06-10-2012
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 39
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
tanksalot is on a distinguished road
Re: Am I Nuts?.....And if so, what do I do now?

Chris_Gee:

"Sounds a bit like assertiveness training needed."

I think you're right on the money. By nature I care deeply about everybody else. Period. Don't hurt their feelings. Don't make them feel "unwanted"; yada yada yada. And, I capitulate to those feelings.

I don't disagree with you whatever. By saying, to myself, I'll do what I want and if it includes them, great, but if not, that's fine too, I'll get closer to that "peace" that sailing provides. Thanks for the good advice!

Tanksalot
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

 
Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may post attachments
You may edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Nuts in Honey? JanetGroene Provisioning 11 06-04-2012 10:05 PM
keel nuts- rusty can you replace just the nuts nikksandy Gear & Maintenance 10 04-27-2010 03:01 PM
Nuts! billyruffn Gear & Maintenance 30 08-21-2009 11:24 PM
Keel nuts drynoc Gear & Maintenance 3 03-03-2009 03:04 AM
J-30 ... I must be nuts! msl Boat Review and Purchase Forum 1 06-22-2003 09:34 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:41 PM.

Add to My Yahoo!         
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.1
(c) Marine.com LLC 2000-2012

The SailNet.com store is owned and operated by a company independent of the SailNet.com forum. You are now leaving the SailNet forum. Click OK to continue or Cancel to return to the SailNet forum.