Originally Posted by bljones
No, I'll show you someone who SAW an opportunity, or MADE an opportunity.
Like the one guy in a homeless shelter who actually reads the employment ads in the newspaper, instead of listening to those who say "there are no jobs."
...and then that guy goes to the library and types out a resume, instead of listening to those who say " nobody will give me a job because I haven't got a computer to make a resume."
...and then prowled the donation bin at the Goodwill store before the clothes hit the rack to find the best dress pants and blazer and shirt and tie before they hit the racks, instead of listening to those who said "nobody ever hires homeless people- it's not our fault we look homeless."
... and then used up a roll of quarters at the payphone making phone calls to answer those ads in the paper to get an interview or two, (repeatedly calling back because there was no number to leave for some to return a call,) instead of listening to those who said "we can't get a job- we don't have an address or a phone."
... and then walking across the city to those interviews instead of listening to those who say, "we can't afford to go to a job interview- no money for a bus or a taxi."
... and then keeps doing it, day after day, instead of listening to htose who said "see, told you there were no jobs and nobody hires people like us."
... and then told this story to the business owner at the job interviews he finally gets...
and gets both jobs.
Instead of listening to those who said that it's not possible for a homeless person suffering from mental illness to succeed, and list all sorts of reasons why.
Your failure to understand this concept explains the silliness of your first paragraph in your response, because that was NOT what I was saying at all.
Your limitations, and the limitations of most people, are not physical, but a failure to make your own luck...
maybe because you figure it's no more possible than jumping off the roof and flying to Florida.
By the way, that homeless guy? That was me.
That's MY reality.
dude. no one is saying it's not possible to help yourself. I have been there. I was living outside, sleeping beside my bike. it's all I had. I didn't take government help or charity. I didn't beg for money. I got a job shoveling dog crap at a kennel. I took my baths in the sinks in gas station bathrooms. I washed my clothes, which I kept tied to my sissybar, in the Laundromat. none of my coworkers knew I had no home. I saved my money and got my back bills paid off ( it was a bad fall from grace ). I kept my sleeping bag tied to the sissybar of my bike. by the time I had worked at the kennel for two months I was running it for the owner. I had gotten $3 worth of raises ( from peanuts to not a whole lot ). I lived by the bike through the first part of winter and found out a friend was thinking about leaving home. so, together, we got a place and I wasn't homeless anymore. that was the first fall, years ago.
but I had opportunities. I found a job with a boss that appreciated my worth. the only one I have had. all other bosses just use you up. she voluntarily gave me raises. I also got lucky and a friend was getting ready to leave home, when I was financially prepared to afford a place.
what if I had not had the same opportunities? what if my boss, at that time, had been like all of my other bosses? I wouldn't have gotten those raises. i'd have been doing the extra work but not getting the extra money. that would have changed things. I might not have been ready when my friend was thinking of getting a place. or, what if my friend wasn't thinking of moving out? I wasn't making enough to get a place of my own. and if both opportunities had not been there....
that's what I am saying. people don't make opportunities. they see opportunities that others may not have seen and they take the opportunity. but you don't make opportunities. but people who were down and worked their way back up rarely see that they had opportunities, without which they would not have climbed back up. they usually only see their own efforts to get back up. then they want to go around saying that anybody can do anything they want, with their life, regardless of the circumstances because they truly believe that's what they did.
all I am saying is that you can't honestly say life is what you make it regardless of circumstances. you can narc on that thought all you want but there are people, like the paraplegic or the guy who ended up with no legs because of a drunk driver, that are stuck living the reality of that thought. life happens to people. sometimes you can overcome t and get things back to where you want. other times you are cursed to live with the outcome for the rest of your life. and sometimes you die.
there is a big difference between just giving up, and wallowing in self defeat, and realizing the limitations of your present situation and doing the best you can with what life has dealt you. you are not seeing that difference.
a paraplegic can hope that something ill happen and he will someday be able to walk, but in the meantime he has to live in the reality of his situation. the same thing goes for everyone else, too.
this tangent came about because of the implication that, if someone would like to cruise, but hasn't because their life won't allow that, or hasn't allowed that, yet, then they are just whiners ( with the insinuation that they are thus losers )
that haven't really tried.
for myself, I have sailed the boats I had, the ones I could afford. life was just not supportive of anything else. I dreamed of more but live the reality I had to live. now, I bought a cruiser. it was on the lean dock and I got it for $300. it was all I could do to scrape it up and it is a difficulty trying to pay the slip fees and get insurance and....
it needs a lot of work before I can even sail it. and the whole process is just making a hard struggle harder, but I knew what I one day wanted and I refused to let the opportunity slip through my fingers, when it presented itself.
can I go cruising now? not at all. but I am going to get her fixed up and I will sail her. will I cruise then? sure, but for the foreseeable future, weekend cruising is all I can realistically plan on. there is money and my job to worry about. I can't afford more than weekend cruising and I certainly can't take time off from work. and I can't just quit work and run off to sail to the Caribbean. I have to know I can survive when I return, when I do go long distance cruising.
do I want more than weekends? yes. is that happening now? no. it's not possible. would I love to just up and set sail over the sea for ports unknown? yes, but I live in the really for real world.
everything in it's time. I will do all I can, to achieve what i'd like, but I have to take care of what I need, in the present.
someday, will I make a blue water passage? hopefully. I will if it's my wyrd to do so. but am I a whiner, who just isn't trying, because I haven't done so, yet, or because I am not doing so, now? of course not. and that was the point, way back when this little side discussion began. not all people has the ability to go sailing the sea and they aren't losers or whiners because of it.
why do you think that there was a lot of outraged response, other than mine, to Hannas' original post?