Sailing and Nautical Quotes from the Hoi Polloi - SailNet Community
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post #1 of 29 Old 08-20-2012 Thread Starter
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Sailing and Nautical Quotes from the Hoi Polloi

There are many websites which have Nautical quotes - I even have one myself:
The Frugal Mariner: Quotes about Sailing and others on this forum have some, too.(Sailing Zone: Sailing Quotes and Thoughts)

But in every case, these are quoting famous people. And in many cases, they stole them from someone else, or had them written for them by someone else. I am willing to bet a very small amount that the hoi polloi, the great unwashed, the common man, basically, us, have said stuff that is quotable also. It's just that no one ever knows about it because very few have ever heard of us. And when we DO say something profound, everyone thinks we're quoting someone famous.

So here's what I'm looking for: If you've said something about sailing, boats, nautical stuff in general, post it here whether profound, funny, practical or whatever. Don't be shy, don't be modest. And post whatever name to which you want the quote attributed. Prefer your real name, but if you'd rather remain anonymous and unfamous in your own right, use your login name. All should be original from you.

I'll start it out with a few of my own:

"We use the bra method of sailing. Hoist 'em up and keep 'em from floppin'."
Larry MacDonald

"ĎMateí on my boat is not a rank; itís an order." -Captain Larry

"A sailboat is a fickle mistress. Youíve got to buy her things. Youíve got to understand everything about her. What you donít know sheíll use against you." -Captain Larry

"Being good in bed is very much like sailing a boat well. The pity is, if youíre bad at it, you canít fall off and drown." -Captain Larry

"I was told my great-great-grandfather was a pirate who was hanged before he had any children." -Captain Larry

"Iím going to paint pictures of barnacles on the bottom of my boat so theyíll think itís full and leave it alone." -Captain Larry

"If you donít have deck leaks, how do you know where to store your buckets?" -Captain Larry

"Those on shore gaze at the water. Those on the water gaze at the shore." -Captain Larry

So, if you post your personal quote here, I'll assume you have given tacit permission to use your quote on The Frugal Mariner, with attribution, of course.

No plagiarism, please.
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Saltwater Suzi and Cap'n Larry


"A sailboat is a fickle mistress. Youíve got to buy her things. Youíve got to understand everything about her. What you donít know sheíll use against you." -Captain Larry


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post #2 of 29 Old 08-20-2012
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Re: Sailing and Nautical Quotes from the Hoi Polloi

I was getting tired of lifting the cover to the head and discovering it only half-flushed after being used by my racing crew.

In order to burn the flushing procedure firmly into their brains, I said "Look damnit, when you pump the thing, you have to use long, full, pornographic strokes!"

The bowl has been empty ever since.

S/V Old Shoes
1973 Pearson 30 #255
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post #3 of 29 Old 08-20-2012
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Re: Sailing and Nautical Quotes from the Hoi Polloi

Not exactly pithy, but here goes:

Imagine seven adults eating, sleeping, bathing and otherwise existing for several days in the confines of a walk-in closet. Now, periodically throw cold salty water on them, induce nausea in at least one of them, sunburn another and place a live stinging jellyfish into the underpants of a third. Soak this mixture in alcohol, shake violently and roast it in the summer sun and you now have a reasonable representation of a memorable cruise. Without a liberal dose of positive attitude and the near saintly ability to forgive your fellow ship mates of transgressions both slight and large, a weekend outing can become a nightmare.

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post #4 of 29 Old 08-20-2012
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Re: Sailing and Nautical Quotes from the Hoi Polloi

I said this last week:

"Channel markers are like women - you never want to get on their 'bad' side."

1989 Hunter 30'
Southern Georgian Bay

The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever. - Jacques Yves Cousteau
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post #5 of 29 Old 08-20-2012
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Re: Sailing and Nautical Quotes from the Hoi Polloi

Nothing overly profound or quotable below, but a few of my musings I often share with new sailors are:

"There are a few things in life that we can't see even with our eyes wide open. God. Love. And the wind. We can see the effects of all these things, but we can't see the actual thing. However, if we allow our other senses to open up, we can feel them. It amazes me that something as cryptic as the wind has the ability to carry a sailboat thousands and thousands of miles." -Kevin from SailFarLiveFree.com

"You know you're a cruiser when you ration warm beer and toilet paper so they last until the next landfall." -Kevin from SailFarLiveFree.com

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post #6 of 29 Old 08-20-2012
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Re: Sailing and Nautical Quotes from the Hoi Polloi

Often said aboard Wind Orchid, although I suspect others have said the same:

"You don't own the boat. The boat owns you."

[/B]S/V Wind Orchid
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post #7 of 29 Old 08-20-2012
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Re: Sailing and Nautical Quotes from the Hoi Polloi

Regarding a boats plumbing and the sails: "It either sucks or it blows!"

"The cure for anything is salt water~ sweat, tears, or the sea." ~Isak Denesen

Everybody has one:

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post #8 of 29 Old 08-22-2012 Thread Starter
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Re: Sailing and Nautical Quotes from the Hoi Polloi

Liking what I'm reading so far. Keep 'em coming, guys and gals.

I stole (from Captain Ron) and modified one near the end of our last cruise: "I know we're almost there." (And Saltwater Suzi asked, "How do you know?") "Because, when we left Florida, now follow me on this, we had just enough toilet paper to get back to the Chesapeake - and we are OUT of toilet paper."

I can't use it though, cause I stole it, but it got a chuckle

Saltwater Suzi and Cap'n Larry


"A sailboat is a fickle mistress. Youíve got to buy her things. Youíve got to understand everything about her. What you donít know sheíll use against you." -Captain Larry


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post #9 of 29 Old 08-22-2012
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Re: Sailing and Nautical Quotes from the Hoi Polloi

I used to own a bike shop and one day told a customer:
"The repair part for that is a new bike."

Since I've seen boats to which that applies.
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Re: Sailing and Nautical Quotes from the Hoi Polloi

In a race, upon looking up and realizing the proximity to a rather large bell buoy, constant bearing and decreasing range:

"Prepare to mount the mark!"
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