Tell me one more time - Page 2 - SailNet Community
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post #11 of 40 Old 09-11-2012 Thread Starter
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Re: Tell me one more time

The idea of being apart would never fly. For one, we're pretty attached. Another is I want to sail with someone. I'm not a solo sailor. I like sharing the fun as well as have someone there to help when things get hairy.

My dad did the apartment downtown with the boat in the harbor thing for about 8 years. Everyone thought he was the type who would work til the day he drops. At 57, he semi-retired and hopped on his boat with his lovely and off they went. But she DID make him get a full physical before they left and prostate cancer reared its ugly head. But that didn't stop them. My dad spent some time in the hospital and then spent the next several years cruising the Caribbean. His wife wanted a house so they ended up finding one with a boat dock on the Intercoastal. But every time we came to visit, off we went, to the Keys, the Bahamas or any port of call that could be made during out visit.

Could I live with that scenario? Absolutely! But $$$ is the problem. That great retirement I had saved up for over the decades was seriously consumed by Wall Street, family crises and helping other loved ones. There's not much left for my dreams. It's either the house or the boat, not both.

I do thank everyone for their thoughtful replies. I'm compiling them to see if I can find something to make my dreams happen. Keep 'em coming!
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post #12 of 40 Old 09-11-2012
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Re: Tell me one more time

Picture yourself sitting on the couch, late afternoon, sun streaming thru the window casting long shadows across the living room floor. You know the scene, the one with the dust particles glistening in the sun beams. As you sit there thinking about your past what do you want to recall? Street scenes as you battle the crowds to get to the grocery store, the stench of the alleys where the homeless last urinated or morning swims in crystal clear waters, or full moon sailing where the moon beams cast your boat shadow across the lagoon bottom? Your choice, choose wisely.
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post #13 of 40 Old 09-11-2012
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Re: Tell me one more time

I truly wish you the best in your decision making progress. The only thing that I can add to the opinions: There was a time I felt I couldn't afford my first boat (Ranger 29) I bought it anyway and survived. There was a time I felt we weren't in a good financial situation to have kids, we did and survived. There is a time right now we can't really afford to have a home and sailboat to cruise during my retirement, we are so far. If change is necessary we will do what we have to do. Sometimes if we wait for the perfect opportunity to eventually come, it never does. Find a way so there is no regrets later. You only live once.
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post #14 of 40 Old 09-11-2012
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Re: Tell me one more time

You don't have any options, you're stuck so make the best of it.
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post #15 of 40 Old 09-11-2012
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Re: Tell me one more time

No advice, but a couple of thoughts...

As much as we'd like to think otherwise, some things just aren't going to happen. Call it what you will -- destiny, karma, bad genes, etc -- many of us are left holding the bag and trying to reconcile reality with hopes and dreams. It often sucks, sometimes mightily so, and at those points we make a choice, which only after time will prove to be either be a good or bad one.

The inescapable fact is that change happens. We all (ok, the vast majority of us...) try to manage that change in a way that maximizes the good and minimizes the bad. But only the incredibly fortunate are able to achieve all good and no bad. Most of us settle somewhere in the middle. Never forget the old saying -- "better is the enemy of good enough."

I do wish you well in finding a true and rewarding course for the journey ahead and with the choices you face.
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post #16 of 40 Old 09-11-2012
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Re: Tell me one more time

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Originally Posted by JulieMor View Post
If I sell the house, she has to relocate with me and find another job.
How about finding her a job first, in a place to which you want to relocate? Make it your job to find her a job. Obviously, she has to be on board with the idea of moving, but if she is, then there's a lot a partner can do to assist with a job search (I've been there for my wife when she hated her job and needed a change). Then if she finds a job, you can move to a temporary place in the new location while you wait for the house to sell and boat shop.
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post #17 of 40 Old 09-11-2012
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Re: Tell me one more time

JulieMor if you want some addition advice watch the first 3 minutes and 30 seconds of Captain Ron. Its on Youtube, part one. Listen closely to the dialog in the elevator.
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post #18 of 40 Old 09-11-2012 Thread Starter
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Re: Tell me one more time

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Picture yourself ... morning swims in crystal clear waters, or full moon sailing where the moon beams cast your boat shadow across the lagoon bottom? Your choice, choose wisely.
You're making me melt.

I'll take this view over the one from the couch.
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post #19 of 40 Old 09-11-2012
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Re: Tell me one more time

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you're making me melt.

I'll take this view over the one from the couch.
all hands on deck! Dolphins in the bow wake!
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post #20 of 40 Old 09-11-2012
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Re: Tell me one more time

You know, "comfortable retirement" is a relative thing. Most people in the world, or even in the US will not have the opportunity to even stop working at all. If the two of you can adjust what your expectations are for the lifestyle ($), you may be able to go sailing now, or after a few years of intensive saving. You will never will have as much money by stopping work as you (or she) would have working more. Just depends on what your priorities are.

Bristol 27
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