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  #71  
Old 10-17-2012
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Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SloopJonB View Post
My apologies Geoff - I didn't mean it as a personal attack on you. That term "partner" is a bit of a red flag to my bull. I perceive it as an indication of some degree of a lack of commitment to ones spouse. A wife rates a different term describing her relationship to you than the guy you run a hardware store with or share a boat with.

And no, I don't believe in "obey" - read my post again. That doesn't mean I'm just going to say "Okay dear, your decision, have a nice time" if she plans on doing something I know to be extraordinarily hazardous or foolhardy.

In a case like the one under discussion, I'd go with her or insist someone else with adequate experience go.

If she wanted to go hangliding, I'd insist she get some instruction, not just go along with her buying one and jumping off somewhere high.

To me that's the difference between being a couple in a marriage and two people living together or POSSLQ's as the Canadian government terms them (persons of the opposite sex sharing living quarters).
No need to apologize (well, except for calling me a yuppie ) - no reason we should agree as long as it's kept reasonably civil.

Just as "partner" is a bit of a red flag to you, terms like "insist" are a red flag to me. I've never liked being told what I can or can't do and I wouldn't try to that to anyone else. I'll counsel, persuade, entreat but never insist. The good think about meeting the right person late in life is that you've already made the mistakes before .

BTW - looking at the pictures, I have a sneaking suspicion which one was the dominant partner in that relationship.
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  #72  
Old 10-17-2012
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Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

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Originally Posted by chamonix View Post
She does not have to obey me, but she would not be making that trip.
You do see the contradiction here, right?
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  #73  
Old 10-17-2012
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Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

Quote:
Forbid maybe not, but insist, definitely - your wife is not your partner unless you are in business together - that's just yuppie P/C nonsense. She's your wife and as such is part of you, as you are part of her - if you love each other anyway-SloopJohnB
Nothing is absolute

My wife and I are equals in every sence of the word. I beleive she has the right to determione her own fate, what to do with her body, etc.

Remember in the instance of the Carribean 1500 a couple years ago where it appeared that the wife pleaded with her husband to get to shore because of many days of seasickness. It cost people their lives when he did head in

In the instance however when we are on a boat together, and I am the captain. I will FORBID her to do something which puts my life or anyone other than her own in danger. Not thats she ever would challenege me with that on the line but I would in that case FORBID it

Just saying
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  #74  
Old 10-17-2012
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Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoff54 View Post
You do see the contradiction here, right?
I saw the contradiction when I wrote it. I guess my point is that some situations are hazardous enough to contradict the norm. If it makes you feel any better I would expect my wife to stop me from doing something foolish, and she would expect me to "obey".
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Old 10-17-2012
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Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

This discussion over husband, wife, controlling, etc., took form when JulieMor suggested it would have been OK for husband to embark on this voyage, but not wife:

Quote:
I can maybe see the 61 year old husband saying, "I'll sail the boat back home. You drive back and meet me." But for the wife to say that? Very unusual.
This struck me as an odd thing for a woman to say, but anyway, I know plenty of very capable women who would be just as likely to "sail the boat back home" as their husband, partner or whomever.
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Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

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I know plenty of very capable women who would be just as likely to "sail the boat back home" as their husband, partner or whomever.
Like -Caberg
Yes me too

Something is rotten in Denmark with this whole story. It may take a while for it to totally unfold

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  #77  
Old 10-17-2012
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Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

Well, looks like we have ****** one for "As the Sails Set" - a weekly soap opera about the loves and lives of single handed sailors. A good team of writers could milk this out for a whole season.

Those astericks are for transcript without the tran. Why was this censored?
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  #78  
Old 10-17-2012
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Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

You know my zombie theory isn't that far fetched. In place of a zombie we put in a hired hit man. I'm not accusing anyone. Anyone see the movie series Bourne? The killer hides
out on a yacht he knows that the target will purchase. Once the boat is out to sea, the killer leaves his hiding place and proceeds to his target. I won't say what happens but I could see this scenario playing out in this case.
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Old 10-17-2012
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Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captainmeme View Post
You know my zombie theory isn't that far fetched. In place of a zombie we put in a hired hit man. I'm not accusing anyone. Anyone see the movie series Bourne? The killer hides
out on a yacht he knows that the target will purchase. Once the boat is out to sea, the killer leaves his hiding place and proceeds to his target. I won't say what happens but I could see this scenario playing out in this case.
Dude, you have quite a fertile (or maybe fever-fueled) imagination.

"YachtBourne Zombie Hitmen: A Retrospective."
A new Meme by CM.

It seems this is the leading warning to newbies to emerge from this thread.
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Last edited by smackdaddy; 10-17-2012 at 12:04 PM.
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Old 10-17-2012
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Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockDAWG View Post
For the records, my wife never stops me. In fact I have hall passes and I can do anything I want.
Quote:
Originally Posted by miatapaul View Post
I guess you have a big life insurance policy! I bet she makes sure it is paid up.
Hahah.... Indeed, she has faithfully been paying the invoices annually for my $1.5 MM life insurance.

All kidding aside, After more than 30 years marriage I have earned her trust over and over again. I beleive that it is my attention to details, thorough and unemotional thought processes, and putting family first that she is comfortable with my decisions. Sometimes, I wish she would challenge my decision more, becasue it put a lot more burden on me.
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