Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies. - Page 8 - SailNet Community
 31Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #71 of 108 Old 10-17-2012 Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Geoff54's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 712
Thanks: 5
Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts
Rep Power: 4
 
Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SloopJonB View Post
My apologies Geoff - I didn't mean it as a personal attack on you. That term "partner" is a bit of a red flag to my bull. I perceive it as an indication of some degree of a lack of commitment to ones spouse. A wife rates a different term describing her relationship to you than the guy you run a hardware store with or share a boat with.

And no, I don't believe in "obey" - read my post again. That doesn't mean I'm just going to say "Okay dear, your decision, have a nice time" if she plans on doing something I know to be extraordinarily hazardous or foolhardy.

In a case like the one under discussion, I'd go with her or insist someone else with adequate experience go.

If she wanted to go hangliding, I'd insist she get some instruction, not just go along with her buying one and jumping off somewhere high.

To me that's the difference between being a couple in a marriage and two people living together or POSSLQ's as the Canadian government terms them (persons of the opposite sex sharing living quarters).
No need to apologize (well, except for calling me a yuppie ) - no reason we should agree as long as it's kept reasonably civil.

Just as "partner" is a bit of a red flag to you, terms like "insist" are a red flag to me. I've never liked being told what I can or can't do and I wouldn't try to that to anyone else. I'll counsel, persuade, entreat but never insist. The good think about meeting the right person late in life is that you've already made the mistakes before .

BTW - looking at the pictures, I have a sneaking suspicion which one was the dominant partner in that relationship.
Geoff54 is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #72 of 108 Old 10-17-2012 Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Geoff54's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 712
Thanks: 5
Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts
Rep Power: 4
 
Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by chamonix View Post
She does not have to obey me, but she would not be making that trip.
You do see the contradiction here, right?
Geoff54 is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #73 of 108 Old 10-17-2012
Senior Member
 
chef2sail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Maryland
Posts: 7,088
Thanks: 30
Thanked 58 Times in 54 Posts
Rep Power: 8
 
Send a message via AIM to chef2sail
Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

Quote:
Forbid maybe not, but insist, definitely - your wife is not your partner unless you are in business together - that's just yuppie P/C nonsense. She's your wife and as such is part of you, as you are part of her - if you love each other anyway-SloopJohnB
Nothing is absolute

My wife and I are equals in every sence of the word. I beleive she has the right to determione her own fate, what to do with her body, etc.

Remember in the instance of the Carribean 1500 a couple years ago where it appeared that the wife pleaded with her husband to get to shore because of many days of seasickness. It cost people their lives when he did head in

In the instance however when we are on a boat together, and I am the captain. I will FORBID her to do something which puts my life or anyone other than her own in danger. Not thats she ever would challenege me with that on the line but I would in that case FORBID it

Just saying
Brewgyver likes this.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
___________________________
S/V Haleakala (Hawaiian for" House of the Sun")
C&C 35 MKIII Hull # 76
Parkville, Maryland
(photos by Joe McCary)
Charter member of the Chesapeake Lion posse

Our blog-
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


“Sailing is just the bottom line, like adding up the score in bridge. My real interest is in the tremendous game of life.”- Dennis Conner
chef2sail is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #74 of 108 Old 10-17-2012
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Newmarket Ontario
Posts: 254
Thanks: 4
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Rep Power: 6
 
Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoff54 View Post
You do see the contradiction here, right?
I saw the contradiction when I wrote it. I guess my point is that some situations are hazardous enough to contradict the norm. If it makes you feel any better I would expect my wife to stop me from doing something foolish, and she would expect me to "obey".
miatapaul likes this.
chamonix is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #75 of 108 Old 10-17-2012
Senior Member
 
caberg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 621
Thanks: 0
Thanked 17 Times in 16 Posts
Rep Power: 4
 
Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

This discussion over husband, wife, controlling, etc., took form when JulieMor suggested it would have been OK for husband to embark on this voyage, but not wife:

Quote:
I can maybe see the 61 year old husband saying, "I'll sail the boat back home. You drive back and meet me." But for the wife to say that? Very unusual.
This struck me as an odd thing for a woman to say, but anyway, I know plenty of very capable women who would be just as likely to "sail the boat back home" as their husband, partner or whomever.
caberg is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #76 of 108 Old 10-17-2012
Senior Member
 
chef2sail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Maryland
Posts: 7,088
Thanks: 30
Thanked 58 Times in 54 Posts
Rep Power: 8
 
Send a message via AIM to chef2sail
Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

Quote:
I know plenty of very capable women who would be just as likely to "sail the boat back home" as their husband, partner or whomever.
Like -Caberg
Yes me too

Something is rotten in Denmark with this whole story. It may take a while for it to totally unfold

Dave


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
___________________________
S/V Haleakala (Hawaiian for" House of the Sun")
C&C 35 MKIII Hull # 76
Parkville, Maryland
(photos by Joe McCary)
Charter member of the Chesapeake Lion posse

Our blog-
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


“Sailing is just the bottom line, like adding up the score in bridge. My real interest is in the tremendous game of life.”- Dennis Conner
chef2sail is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #77 of 108 Old 10-17-2012
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Corpus Christi, Tx
Posts: 1,350
Thanks: 36
Thanked 42 Times in 41 Posts
Rep Power: 10
 
Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

Well, looks like we have ****** one for "As the Sails Set" - a weekly soap opera about the loves and lives of single handed sailors. A good team of writers could milk this out for a whole season.

Those astericks are for transcript without the tran. Why was this censored?
ccriders is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #78 of 108 Old 10-17-2012
Senior Member
 
Captainmeme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: East Tennessee
Posts: 1,002
Thanks: 8
Thanked 29 Times in 28 Posts
Rep Power: 7
 
Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

You know my zombie theory isn't that far fetched. In place of a zombie we put in a hired hit man. I'm not accusing anyone. Anyone see the movie series Bourne? The killer hides
out on a yacht he knows that the target will purchase. Once the boat is out to sea, the killer leaves his hiding place and proceeds to his target. I won't say what happens but I could see this scenario playing out in this case.
Captainmeme is online now  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #79 of 108 Old 10-17-2012
Last Man Standing
 
smackdaddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 14,467
Thanks: 149
Thanked 143 Times in 136 Posts
Rep Power: 9
     
Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captainmeme View Post
You know my zombie theory isn't that far fetched. In place of a zombie we put in a hired hit man. I'm not accusing anyone. Anyone see the movie series Bourne? The killer hides
out on a yacht he knows that the target will purchase. Once the boat is out to sea, the killer leaves his hiding place and proceeds to his target. I won't say what happens but I could see this scenario playing out in this case.
Dude, you have quite a fertile (or maybe fever-fueled) imagination.

"YachtBourne Zombie Hitmen: A Retrospective."
A new Meme by CM.

It seems this is the leading warning to newbies to emerge from this thread.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

S/V Dawn Treader - 1989 Hunter Legend 40

Last edited by smackdaddy; 10-17-2012 at 12:04 PM.
smackdaddy is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #80 of 108 Old 10-17-2012
美国华人, 帆船 教授及输送
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 2,531
Thanks: 24
Thanked 23 Times in 15 Posts
Rep Power: 9
 
Re: Woman Missing – A warning to Newbies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockDAWG View Post
For the records, my wife never stops me. In fact I have hall passes and I can do anything I want.
Quote:
Originally Posted by miatapaul View Post
I guess you have a big life insurance policy! I bet she makes sure it is paid up.
Hahah.... Indeed, she has faithfully been paying the invoices annually for my $1.5 MM life insurance.

All kidding aside, After more than 30 years marriage I have earned her trust over and over again. I beleive that it is my attention to details, thorough and unemotional thought processes, and putting family first that she is comfortable with my decisions. Sometimes, I wish she would challenge my decision more, becasue it put a lot more burden on me.


Fine Print:
I am old school. Integrity is to do the right thing even when no one is watching.
rockDAWG is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

By choosing to post the reply above you agree to the rules you agreed to when joining Sailnet.
Click Here to view those rules.

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the SailNet Community forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
Please note: After entering 3 characters a list of Usernames already in use will appear and the list will disappear once a valid Username is entered.


User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Woman went missing after falling from sailboat - ABC Action News NewsReader News Feeds 1 02-25-2012 06:44 PM
Warning! Newbie question on missing rubrail MikeAR Boat Review and Purchase Forum 4 04-22-2009 11:41 PM
S/V Picton Castle - the one with the missing overboard woman crew NewsReader Mass Bay Sailors 0 12-10-2006 08:15 PM
Search Continues For Missing Canadian Woman NewsReader Mass Bay Sailors 1 12-10-2006 03:52 PM
Rescuers search mid-Atlantic for missing woman (CTV.ca) NewsReader News Feeds 0 12-09-2006 12:15 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome