can I afford to continue sailing - Page 4 - SailNet Community
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post #31 of 116 Old 10-22-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

Our backgrounds sound close enough that I could be in the same situation as you, but I'm very fortunate to have gotten the opposite result. We bought our first boat back in April, and I've been overjoyed to find that my wife has really enthusiastically embraced it. She is not a "water person" but she does enjoy being outside and we've gotten that in spades.

When we bought the boat we agreed to a two-year trial period: we'd try it out and see if we really used it or if it just sat at the dock. Well, we've been using it a little less than you and paying a little more for the slip, which has added up to a very enjoyable season for our family.

But you have to face facts: an expenditure of that sort requires a two-person agreement, in my opinion and in my understanding of what a marriage is. If I was in your situation I would use a two-pronged approach:

1. Explain to your wife that you love sailing on a visceral level, and it makes you happy to HAVE a boat even when you are not ON the boat.

2. Discuss the money situation and see if there is some sort of quid-pro-quo. Could she do something she likes at similar cost? Is there a house project that she could get in exchange (patio, bathroom remodel, etc?)

If she puts her foot down...well, I don't have any advice for you. Best of luck.
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post #32 of 116 Old 10-22-2012
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Originally Posted by sww914 View Post
I had another friend sell a real 1973 RS Porsche about 10 years ago for $45,000.00 so she could get a new kitchen. The car's worth over $300,000 now and she needs a new kitchen again.
Amazing what those rs values have done. Who knew?

Keep the boat. You might have to live on it. But you wont regret it.
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post #33 of 116 Old 10-22-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

My EX-wife made me sell my boat.

Pretty much all I have to say on the subject.

Mike
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post #34 of 116 Old 10-22-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

LOL Gooood Luck on that one my friend !

50 bucks a month is money well spent (And very cheap one trip to the movie house togather is more than that) on family togather time per month ...

There is no right way to do the wrong thing
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post #35 of 116 Old 10-23-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

Reading into your OP. "I'm sure i went out 25 or more times" Are you sailing alone, with out your wife and kids? " I dont make a lot of money but we arent poor either." Is she with the kids 24/7?

Perhaps the issue is more the time away than the $.
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post #36 of 116 Old 10-23-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

Let me guess - she doesn't like sailing.

Have you ever noticed how many things are advertised with the comment "Wife says must sell"?

Have you EVER seen an ad with "Husband says must sell"?

Keep the boat, sell the wife.

Or do like I did - marry a girl who keeps saying "We need a bigger boat than this" until YOU finally say "Sorry dear, I can't handle a boat bigger than this".
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I, myself, personally intend to continue being outspoken and opinionated, intolerant of all fanatics, fools and ignoramuses, deeply suspicious of all those who have "found the answer" and on my bad days, downright rude.
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post #37 of 116 Old 10-23-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

Whats about getting a mooring Ball? You may be able to save some money and keep the boat....I would click my heels if I found that price in my area, that is mooring ball money for me.

Also what about cutting something else that you dont get much use out of...I mean we, for instance, cut our cable package down to a lower package in the summer months because we arent home as much..do we need to...no..but it saves us $200 over the course of 3.5 months....long story short I dont pretend to know your situation but Id bet you can cut some expenses that you wont miss at all and get real close to what that slip fee costs you.

Last edited by jhorst1; 10-23-2012 at 07:12 AM.
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post #38 of 116 Old 10-23-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

Welllll... let me preface this by saying my last marriage cost me oh around 400k....and gi a few more for miscellaneous fees. Was working nearly 6 days a week for 3+ years except for sundays, with 5 extra days off a year......I was killing myself....tried to explain that to the ex....well......she was more concerned about her security than my deteriorating health......anyway...it went very slowly and painfully.........Many times my thought was I would rather live in a tent on a muddy field than in the situation I was in.....so....Your dad had a dream and never had a chance.....you have a dream....started to live it and then....1,300 comes in the way of that...hmmm...what on earth can you get for 1,300 a year that is gonna replace the feeling??? More important what does she want that 1,300 for????? Some serious miscommunication is going on...and....with two small chillen' the courts are gonna rape you.....cactus style......ex friends and families are gonna too...... So what to do? Stand your ground? Kowtow? my advice...look for a way to find out the real issue that your wife is not telling you.....then see what the real cards are and play it the best you can. $1,300 is peanuts......but a person who is a miserable drain on your life is coyote ugly. (U would chew your arm off the morning after you slept with her just to get away) Sometimes the wrong one is just that the wrong one.....but I have to believe there are other issues besides 1,300.........good luck!
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post #39 of 116 Old 10-23-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

Not enough info.

Ask for advice to reduce cost, if you like. Your idea of a mooring is a good one. I also like the trailerable boat idea.

But asking how to change her mind is impossible. We don't know her or why she believes your family can't afford what you are spending. I suspect there is something else she thinks you should be spending the money on. Is there?
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post #40 of 116 Old 10-23-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

p.s. Love is grand........ divorce is 500 grand.
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