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  #1  
Old 10-22-2012
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can I afford to continue sailing

So at the end of this season my wife tells me she cant justify the dock fees associated with me having a sailboat and she dosn't think we can afford it next season. I didnt keep track but I'm sure i went out 25 or more times and my dock costs about $1300 for the season. That breaks down to about $50 per outing worth of dock fees. I have to admit when she puts it that way it sounds like a lot of money. I'm your typical middle class 30 something sailor with a wife and 2 young children. I dont make a lot of money but we arent poor either. Now I have about 5 months to get her to change her mind on this or were going to have a seroius disagreement. I'm not willing to give up sailing. After my father passed 4 years ago at 61 I decided that if i keep waiting for the right time to own a boat, I might wait forever. He died never setting foot on a sailboat and always dreaming of doing so. I also want my children to know the freedom of sailing. When they become adults they can make their own informed decision on weather they want to partake in my love affair with the water. Its not a money thing. Its a priority thing. I'm looking for some advise on changing her mind. I'm also willing to make consessions like go to a Mooring rather than a dock to roughly cut my costs in half if I can find one here in Buffalo N.Y. Anyone in the area that has any suggestions on where to go that would be helpful too.
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Old 10-22-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

Quote:
Originally Posted by ABH3 Boyer View Post
So at the end of this season my wife tells me she cant justify the dock fees associated with me having a sailboat and she dosn't think we can afford it next season. I didnt keep track but I'm sure i went out 25 or more times and my dock costs about $1300 for the season. That breaks down to about $50 per outing worth of dock fees. I have to admit when she puts it that way it sounds like a lot of money. I'm your typical middle class 30 something sailor with a wife and 2 young children. I dont make a lot of money but we arent poor either. Now I have about 5 months to get her to change her mind on this or were going to have a seroius disagreement. I'm not willing to give up sailing. After my father passed 4 years ago at 61 I decided that if i keep waiting for the right time to own a boat, I might wait forever. He died never setting foot on a sailboat and always dreaming of doing so. I also want my children to know the freedom of sailing. When they become adults they can make their own informed decision on weather they want to partake in my love affair with the water. Its not a money thing. Its a priority thing. I'm looking for some advise on changing her mind. I'm also willing to make consessions like go to a Mooring rather than a dock to roughly cut my costs in half if I can find one here in Buffalo N.Y. Anyone in the area that has any suggestions on where to go that would be helpful too.
terrible story

we obnly go once around this hampster wheel so you have to grab everything while you can

you wife first: remind her that you ge tendless pleasure from the boat even when you are not on it. Just as thinking about her makes you happy so thinking about the boat makes you happy as well. Value cannot be measured in days or hours

the boat: a smaller boat - a trailer sailer can be great value and you can sail in different places. the tow vehicle thing can be problem but over here you can rent a van for £40 a day to tow the boat. Or get a mooring and tow a decent sized dinghy -

above all... don't give up on the sailing - it is the fourth most important thing in the world to you after her and the two kids
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Old 10-22-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

We always find way to enjoy the things we love. Wife, kids, job, SAILING. I am over 60, and my wife does not go sailing, but we make it work. I've gone on some good sailing trips whine she remained at home. We worked it out. My first wife and I could not work things out (nothing to do with sailing) so after about 4 years of disagreements we parted ways. We all nee to sail our own boat.
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Old 10-22-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

How about a trade?

You offer to clean the bathrooms forever and she lets you keep the boat...
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Old 10-22-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

$100 a month to enable you to show your kids an alternative to living in front of a computer screeen,
Sounds reasonable. Sounds like you are married to a control freak of the consumer religion type. (Conformity Taliban)
Stand your ground, and maintain some control over what is your own life. If you dont , it will eventually disolve anyway with even greater anger and resentment.
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Old 10-22-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

When i first started sailing I had a trailer-able boat. I was astonished at how inexpensive it was to keep and maintain. I learned a ton on that boat, and the whole family had fun on it.

I love the boat I have now, but it an order of magnitude more expensive to keep and maintain it.

I'd consider finding a trailer sailer on the upper end, and find a marina that lets you keep the boat rigged, on the trailer, in a storage area. a little less convenient, a lot less expensive.

And get that larger boat (and slip fee) when the kids are older.
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Old 10-22-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

I'm in a similar situation (30s, married, young kid, not rich), but my wife so far has been supportive of the boat.

We justify the cost of owning the boat in a few ways. For one, spending the weekend on the boat is pretty cheap entertainment. We pack our food and spend zero money once we leave the mooring. Next summer we plan to take about 10 days and cruise our local waters, whereas before the boat we'd spend a few thousand on a summer vacation somewhere.

Perhaps even more important, it's a way to do something fun together as a family. Wife is not crazy about sailing itself, but she does love spending a weekend as a family on the boat. Consequently, a day on the boat with the family might only entail a few hours of sailing, and many more hours at anchor swimming, reading, relaxing, etc.

Maybe that will give you some ideas to work with.... Good luck!
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Old 10-22-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

My wife enjoys it sometimes and tolerates it all the time because members of her family and our kids enjoy trips on the boat. As long as that is the case and the boat attracts others to come back and spend time with us, she consents. If you haven't had her family or friends aboard on a nice day, you should (and then, they need to express a desire to go again next season). If the kids aren't hooked, work on that. Good luck.
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Old 10-22-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

$1,300 for a slip is short money, we pay close to that for a mooring.

Be carefull, this is how it starts, next thing you know you've got no boat, no house...

Like Brent said:
"Stand your ground, and maintain some control over what is your own life. If you dont , it will eventually disolve anyway with even greater anger and resentment.
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

"Stand your ground" is not the approach I'd take. I wouldn't give in, either, but don't approach this as a confrontation- a good wife is hard to find and divorces are more expensive than dock fees. Discuss it.
You are both right. It's impossible to justify sailing from an economic standpoint. It's an expensive thing to do. However, if you spend your life worrying only about money and not enjoying what you're doing, it's wasted.
Convince her that you are mindful of what it costs and you try to economize as much as you can, but sailing is too important to you to give up and the two of you need to find a way to make it happen.
Maybe if she gives up new clothes for 6 months?
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