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A family day... what do sailors do?

5K views 43 replies 24 participants last post by  scratchee 
#1 ·
Thinking about and even taking some steps to get into sailing, my wife asked a question today that I did not have a good answer for. So I thought I would turn to the experts. We are a 50-something couple who live in Charleston, SC. Our married son with 3 kids also live here. The grands are 9, 5, and 2 years old. So today "grandma" asked, "so what would a day of sailing look like for us all as a family?" Now Charleston is probably about as diverse a sailing environment as one can imagine. We have the harbor, lots of things to see around the shore of the harbor, fort Sumter, and other historical things to visit, the ICW, and several barrier islands that are quite close. But to be honest I was not able to draw a picture for grandma of what we would do with a day on the boat and 3 little ones. So let me ask those who sail with children/families. What does a typical Saturday or Sunday outing look like? How do you keep children occupied/engaged beyond the first 30 minutes that they may be content to wander the boat? I would like to hear from any families who sail together anywhere but it would really be neat to hear form some Charleston-based folks in terms of an average day's itinerary with the fam. Thanks.
 
#2 · (Edited)
Wow... that's an open question because the possibilities are so varied. But we had our daughter on the water since she was 3 months and now she's 18 yrs. So we've seen all the stages. Just go sailing, maybe overnight once they've been on the boat a few times starting with the eldest first and take it from there. Like any kid, you have to keep them occupied. Don't expect them to love it on day one or in the same way for each kid, they'll like some things and hate others.

2 yr: stay close to mom/dad. Toys in the cabin or cockpit. Not much different than on land at that age. They scare easily so keep it calm and not loud (sail changes, tacking, no shouting), easy days. If you see weather coming, get in. Naps in the V berth surrounded by pillows. They roll around easily and don't get banged up. Our daughter would fall asleep within 30 minutes leaving the dock and sometimes slept for hours. Changing a diaper at 20 degrees heel is a thrill. :)

5 yr: - more possibilities depending on whether they can swim. Swimming from the boat, fishing, small boat jobs, learning a little about water creatures. But they still like their toys, so keep them around. NO electronic toys or videos. Play on a sand beach digging holes..... Keep it calm because 5 yrs is still tender. If weather comes up, explain what a big wave is and isn't. Our daughter asked this all the time.

9 yrs: - you have a mini mariner. They can definitely tend jibs, tack the main, learn to steer, learn basic weather, plot a simple course (it's not PC, but consider doing this electronically because electronics are like catnip to kids, especially boys). Definitely kayak solo, row a dinghy.... all stuff our daughter did. Can handle bigger weather, maybe up to 20 kts. depends on the kid, but introduce more aggressive conditions incrementally.... don't go from a series of 10-15 kt days to 30.

Some other considerations that I posted recently:
http://www.sailnet.com/forums/c22/95327-life-lines-3-year-old.html
 
#3 ·
Short trips to a destination that the kids would like - for us Caladesi Island a nice a short trip.

Fishing - kids could care less what they catch. Baitfish off the back of your boat is good.

Find dolphins! They are just magical to children.

Fun food!!! My jerk chicken is legendary!

Put life jackets on them and let them have some space to explore and ... Get this ... Do nothing.

Kids will likely get restless just sailing for hours on end. So there has to be activities. Jumping off the boat and swimming will occupy them for hours. Roaming a beach they swam to or you went by dinghy.

My kids are grown up and waiting for me to actually buy that bigger boat so the adventures can continue. We have wonderful memories of growing up on boats.
 
#4 ·
Well, my kids are older, so in the summer , the boat is a mobile swim platform. That, allowing them to bring friends, and plenty of food adds up to a great day. When it's too cold to swim, we usually go to a particular destination/town. Baltimore, for example, is always a hit for my boys.

For me, it is about living in the moment, not having high expectations , and enjoying what comes. The wife and I get out plenty by ourselves, so we can do what we want then.
 
#5 ·
Herer's what we discovered- your experience may vary.
1. Everybody is crew- if everybody has a job, no matter how little, nobody gets bored.
2. Fishing is fun for kids even if they are not catching anything. So let them hang a line off the transom.
3. Have a destination in mind, less than an hour away where there is something for the kids to do. Even if it is just a different beach or a different marina/wharf where they can get ice cream or french fries.
4. Inflatable dinghies are amusement park rides for kids.
5. have a spot for kids to nap.
6. Keep an eye on weather.
7. Accept that somebody is gonna puke and don't make a big deal out of it. keep lots of ginger-related food handy.
8. Go some place you have been before, in comfortable familiar waters- nothing ruins an afternoon like running aground or fumbling a docking.
9. When in doubt, "I Spy" can keep everyone entertained for hours. "I spy a boat with two masts"... "I spy a trawler"
10. Keep binoculars handy- pick up a couple of pairs of sacrificial cheapy binoculars for the kids.

have fun.
 
#6 ·
Like so many, our son was sailing from infanthood on.. without gadgets like gameboy, Ipod/pad etc.. he learned early to pay attention to what was going on outside.. did like to read and spent lots of time reading on longer legs. We built a sailing dinghy when he was around 4 or 5 and he 'learned' to sail that on his own. Beachcombing (crabs under rocks) is an easy way to amuse children of all ages. Learn something about beach critters so you can pass it on.

Kayaking, swimming when appropriate, helping to steer/watch/trim as they become able and interested.

Now 30, our son is a boat owner himself, our granddaughter has been sailing since she was a week old.. now at 5 and going to kindergarten she's only just realized that not all kids sail....;)
 
#8 ·
Good question.

My daughter was 8 weeks old when she went out for the first time. Nnow shes 30 and has her own Cataline 27. I really enjoy seeing families and kids together on weekends around the Chesapeake enjoying time together away from the electronics, tvand fast world stuff.

Games to play
Helping to saill if they are old enough
Dinghy rides up creeks
Bringing friends
Getting them off the boat for a walk
Swimming and exploring coves beaches
I used to try and make it fun not a teaching experience
MOB drills

Just hanging out and laughing usually makes it a good time.

Dave
 
#9 · (Edited)
Great question and you have all the ideas I'd recommend after we've coastal sailed with two kids from babies, and still going today at 21 and 22.

But your question intrigues me. I'm assuming you and family may be pretty new to sailing?

If so, I'm thinking how we now take nieces, nephews and toddlers and kids of friends onboard for a day sail. A few extras I'll throw in. I sail for the most problematic and inexperienced onboard. They're the ones I want to see have the most fun. It's a real challenge to me. So watch them like a hawk for any signs of seasickness right off the dock. You as captain have almost complete control over their health.

Stay in protected water. Most kids live from beach to beach we have found(with ours, those beaches were sometimes a hundred miles apart...) But get them on a beach for the bulk of the day to run and play, wear themselves out. Naps come easily and those taken in a rolling vee berth have made more sailors than anything.

For years, we had one drawer full of the remnants(mostly our sons) of toys like cards, legos, dominos(huge with kids, standing them up). You might ask your son for a bag of stuff like that to squirrel away somewhere. Below is the playground, especially for young boys.

And fishing is a real treat for kids. I have a great tip there; take a pair of needlenose pliers and close the barbs on all the hooks.

First, it eliminates the carnage of profusely bleeding fish you try to release(very little kids have very big hearts). Second, kids, with fishing rods whipping around,....nobody goes to the emergency room, and that includes the dad(and granddad).
 
#10 ·
There is simply nothing more important on this planet than a day with the grand daughters. Fortunately they love the boat and it's the prime venue for their birthday parties when they get to bring all their friends. Swimming fishing, putzing around in the dinghy, sight seeing at various local destinations. Both girls have cruised the Bahamas and Great Lakes with us and have never been disturbed by rough weather but both were cruising within a week of birth. At 8yrs. old one even did an epoxy repair and both are always interested in working with papa. The girls are 8 and 11 now and still ask mom & dad if they can go stay on the boat with ama & papa every weekend. Days on the water where my wife and I get their total, undistracted attention ... God I love it. Get the boat !
 

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#11 · (Edited)
Roaming a beach they swam to or you went by dinghy.
About 1/4 mi from our marina was a small beach with overhanging trees to the waterline and a small clay deposit. It was a big row for an 8 yr. old, but our daughter called it "The Secret Beach of Fun". She and her friends would sculpt things from the clay, and swim in the shallows. It was a mini-microsm of the Chesapeake Bay. She still recalls it fondly 10 years later.

A point that I forgot earlier.....starting at about 6 yrs, she became bored with passages and just staying on the boat, so we changed our cruising style and searched out marinas with pools.... I can still recite the distance (in hours) between each pool on the Chesapeake. :) So we didn't anchor out that much for a number of years, but watching our kid splash endlessly (still!) is a joy. We're just now starting to anchor our again. Sadly, our daughter doesn't join us as much anymore, but maybe she'll return in a few years. At this stage, friends are far more important. Such is the rhythm of life.
 
#13 ·
... Sadly, our daughter doesn't joins us as much anymore, but maybe she'll return in a few years. At this stage, friends are far more important. Such is the rhythm of life.
To the OP: Try not to be disappointed if, when the grandkids start to develop social calendars (the 9 YO is almost there!), they decide that trips on the grandparents' boat doesn't fit in. My niece and nephew each took the boating safety course, I was all excited about the trips we'd take and we did go sailing a few times, they crewed on a sail club race. Then they couldn't squeeze me in for a few years until I became cool again.
 
#12 ·
Great Information.

I would like to add, the Home Port or Home Marina can add a lot or distract from the experience. Our marina is more of a yacht club atmosphere with Pool, Hot Tubs, Picnic Areas, and wonderfully Landscaped Grounds.
It is not uncommon to see Families with small children go out for a sail in the morning and be back to spend time pool side in the afternoon. Small children just don't seem to have the attention span to spend 6 - 8 hours on a boat no matter how much you entertain them, but place them poolside or on a beach in the sand and they are happy for hours.
Your location of where you dock/sail can make a difference in the big picture of things.
Make sure there is plenty around you to keep everybody happy, not only the children but also your wife.
 
#14 ·
I've only been sailing Charleston Harbor for the last three years but there's lot's to do with the family. My children are grown and the grands are 4/1/and almost 1. Typical day is a sail up the Wando drop the hook and have a BBQ. The kids swim and play then back for more sailing. Teaching your children and grandchildren to sail will be something they will remember forever. My daughter's fondest memories are when she went out with my dad on the water. My 4 year old grand is in NV and every conversation leads to going on the boat. So it's not what you can do, it's what can't you do. When we retire we plan on heading to the Bahamas and south for extend periods, hopefully the grands will be our crew.
 
#15 ·
First thing I do is hoist the Jolly Roger ,then hand out cheap pirate bandanas! I bring out the tatoos & rubbing alcohol ,and see where & who we can mark up!For emergencys I keep a supply of pirate bandaids. Clamp on earrings are good ,Extra compasses, binoculars, and parascope ( easy to make out of plastic down spout) Treasure hunts are always a winner, Drag out the charts/pirate maps. Got an eye patch?( not I Pad).A good pirate book with pictures tops it off. Don't forget to take pictures of the crew.......Dale
 
#17 ·
My son - then about 8 - recruited random kids from other boats to play hide-and-seek and I found kids in the chain locker, in the hanging locker, behind the sails in the quarter berth, and a few other places. I had no idea there were so many hiding places.

Kids + dinghy + dogs = fun.
Here is a hint - Do NOT overthink it with "are you bored are you scared are you sick OMFG we better go back". Self confidence - Here is what we are doing it is safe and fun goes a long way. Find a place the kids can get off the boat and explore. Looking for turtles, crabs, and interesting driftwood was always fun.
 

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#18 ·
I am so glad that I don't have to answer this question, or worry about this issue. I'm older, single, daughters are grown and living their own lives.

Don't like sailing? No problem, get off my boat and go do something you like to do, somewhere else.

(No, I'm not worried about accomodating any potential, future grandkids)
 
#19 ·
Teenagers have their own priorities, but we've established a couple of routines that keeps them coming back.

First, we've allowed our kids to bring one friend on a week long cruise. You have to keep the sailing reasonably tame, but I've never seen a teenager not enjoy being out on Block Island, Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket, with a Cuttyhunk stop over.

The other program was having my teenage daughter get to invite as many of her friends for a day focused on just them. It was a day sail to go swimming. I give them each a job, like grind that winch, when I tell you too. Or I put one at the helm and point at that house on the shore. We took pics of them all jumping off the side decks and posing before hitting the water. I got hundreds of pics. We blew up a half dozen tubes and tied them together, so they could just float together (and away from the adults!). Then BBQ back at the marina, smores and all !! Last round, we had 8 teenagers aboard and 2 adults! All the kids slept aboard that evening.

They beg to do it again!! It really feels good.
 
#20 ·
We were fortunate enough to be running a two boat program.. when our teen was less keen on going cruising 3 weeks with the old farts, we let him take the smaller boat.. now he can invite 3 friends, and it's 'race on' every day. We kept most of the food to ensure they'd be with us at the end of the day...

... I gotta say we never flew our spinnaker so much as that summer! ;)
 
#25 ·
The smart phone is revolutionizing our standard of living. Communication, organization, navigation, entertainment, security, etc.

I verbally asked my phone to give me directions to the name of a restaurant and it answered by announcing turn by turn instructions. That's smarter than anyone else that was in the car.
 
#30 ·
I verbally asked my phone to give me directions to the name of a restaurant and it answered by announcing turn by turn instructions. That's smarter than anyone else that was in the car.
You need to fill your car with people who can read a map.

Wait a minute...you're a PILOT, aren't you?
 
#29 ·
T37chefs girls are really great on the boat. We have rafted with them and his girs love to swim and like being out together. Course mom and dad make it an enjoyeable experience and have fun with them.

Hope they stay engaged like this through their teens which is the toughest times, but I am sure they will always remember their times on the boat as a family.

dave
 
#36 ·
I think you have us confused...please dont ever do that again! :laugher

That first picture is taken from a stream looking out to Wortn Creek, on the "outside". It an adventure wading up it, all kinds of fun criters and wildlife inlcuding a Bald Eagles nest (s), turltles, snakes, etc...
 
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