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Newbe with no experience buys big boat

63K views 343 replies 85 participants last post by  glenndamato 
#1 ·
I just finished this book.
Breaking Seas: An overweight, middle-aged computer nerd buys his first boat, quits his job, and sails off to adventure: Glenn Damato: 9780985816209: Amazon.com: Books@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51VUNGcnmUL.@@AMEPARAM@@51VUNGcnmUL

What a fun read. Every couple of months someone asks if they can buy a boat with no experience and do some serious cruising. Not something I would do but everyone is different.

This guy did it and really barred his soul about what worked and what didn't work. I'm going to try to get him to join this forum so you animals can tear him up as is your custom.:)

For a short fat guy he is tough as nails and I'm sure can take it.
He found himself on a lee shore with a busted impeller and a full keel boat that would not point.
He saved the boat, with a clever hack, how did he do it.
 
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#321 · (Edited)
Glenn, I totally get "resisting the urge" to buy a boat.

I sold mine last spring and I've yet to replace it. On the one hand, every day is like being a kid looking out of the window on a rainy day feeling like I'm in a land-locked cage. On the other hand, every day feels like payday because I think of all the money I didn't spend on my boat today.

It's tough. If a pile of cash fell in my lap unexpectedly I'd probably go into crack-fiend mode and buy the first pretty boat I saw that would leave me enough to moor it somewhere.

I'm with you on the old classic boats. My tastes tend toward boats that look so old-school salty that Popeye would feel proud to show it to Poopdeck Pappy. But brass and teak is a full time job on top of everything else, so reality drives me toward the most vanilla plain bleach bottle I can find. "Maintenance Free" has a beauty all its own. Admittedly, it's an aquired taste. It's only ugly at the dock, right? I can't see the outside when I'm sailing it.

It's every sailor's romantic goal to sail around 5 capes. But there are way more hot chicks splashing around South Florida than Cape Horn. So maybe the boat that is actually fun to use as a party barge is more practical.
 
#325 ·
Loved the book. Bought the kindle version. The women were a little scary. My one criticism is you could have treated Megan with more empathy in the book, and in real life. Major kudos for the sail back though. Muy muy macho. You have some guts man.


Glen, are you doing a fitness/weight loss book next?
 
#326 ·
Glenn,
Thanks for a great read! Just finished the kindle version today.

I didn't read through all the posts here so I'm not sure if this was already covered but...

Peter Gibbons? Didn't he work at Initech with Bob Porter?
And couldn't you work Lumbergh into the story too?

oh and Larry Wilcox?
heheh
 
#327 · (Edited)
I fall into the "just bought a boat with no experience" category....and I haven't ruled out the sail-up-the-coast-of-Florida-and-sell-the-boat possibility - we hope we go further than that and that we have the fortitude for this to last many years. But we'd rather try it while we can than to spend the rest of our lives with the regret that we didn't try it.

Watch the transformation at Catchin' Rays

 

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#328 · (Edited)
I was home recently sick in bed and bought the Kindle version of Glenn's book. He is a very good writer and I enjoyed the book for a lot of reasons. Beyond the boat preparation and the sailing, the book made its strongest impression on me with the honest telling of the feelings of the author's experiences of rejection and being ignored. He didn't have to tell the story about when he and his brother were young and he was left out by the neighbor girls who were only interested in his brother, but he did. He talks about the "drive by" rejection that prompted his adventure. He talks about the continued rejection by a potential crew member in another sort of "drive by" incident. He can't find crew in Mexico, etc. This stuff is excruciating to read about, much less experience. I think he wanted to talk about these things as much as about anything else. What this highlights for me is how rejection early and throughout one's life shapes a life and a person's perceptions of the world. You can become a docile, obliging person. You can become a comedian who seeks to laugh away the pain. You can become cynical. You can become homicidal. You can become cruel. You can be a mix of all these things. The instinct of self protection can manifest itself in a lot of ways. Seeing how Glenn copes with this obviously sensitive part of his life was fascinating and as I said, well written. The book will make me more sensitive to individuals who on first impression appear rude or clueless or antagonistic to others. There is usually more going on there and the author proved that. I am sure that he does not want to hear this (but maybe he does in that he told of his pain), but I feel bad for him and I hope he finds a woman to share his life with. I hope that he does not give up. I am optimistic because, had he become too closed off or too angry or too cynical, he would not have ventured out. He seems to be still growing and willing to try, which can't be said of everyone. I am not a psychologist, just relating what struck me about this very interesting "sailing" book.
 
#329 ·
I recently read "Breaking Seas" and, coincidentally, faced the same failed impeller problem while on a charter in the Gulf of Thailand in January. The captain of the boat took the fresh water pump and re-routed the sea water lines around the water pump to the fresh water pump. The boat's batteries are just forward of the engine, so he ran the fresh water pump wires right to the batteries. The system worked great for the several hours we needed to motor to get to Salak Paet, Koh Chang for a new impeller.

Being at anchor vs a lee shore made it a much more relaxed exercise!
 
#330 ·
Yes, that was a flash of brilliance on his part. Especially noteworthy for an admitted newb with relatively little practical experience. Not sure I would have thought of that.
 
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#334 ·
Thanks! But not really brilliance - Doug and I had built the bilge pumping systems including the hoses, and I had replaced all the hoses associated with the engine - fuel and raw water. I was familiar with all the the hoses and I knew they were both the same inside diameter. It shows the importance of being completely familiar with your systems!
 
#336 ·
Glen, I bought your book a while ago, but only read it recently over about weeks time.
I liked it a lot. Very honest account, well written, lots of good info and ideas for less experienced sailors, good sense of humor. Money well spent. :)

But... if you don't mind me being honest, the way you treated "Megan" struck me as really cold. Sure she was fat and ugly, I can understand why you did not want to get involved with her romantically. But she was a good crew to you and a fellow human being. She put herself out there for you, willing to offer you what we all cherish most, a gift of our true companionship. Yet, you showed her no heart, and no respect. You did not even want to talk to her about it, choosing instead a silent rejection. You showed her about as much heart and respect as all these pretty women who did a drive-by rejection, or equivalent, on you. Dude, that is wrong. Of all the people in the world, one would think that you knew how it feels to be rejected that way.
Most of the time folks get what they deserve. And unless we learn how to treat others with kindness and respect, other people will not treat us that way. The way I see it, "Megan" was the big test for you when it comes to women, and you, my friend, failed that test. I'm sure you don't give a hoot about an advice on life from some unknown dude, but here it is:

Treat others like you would want to be treated if you were in their place.
Fat and ugly people have feelings too.
 
#337 ·
Krisscross,

I'm glad to hear you enjoyed Breaking Seas, but I have to disagree with your judgment on how I treated Megan (not her real name). This is probably due to how I wrote the final scene between her and I. In my inexperience as a writer, I didn't write the scene clearly enough to get across to some readers what happened.

It was not a "silent rejection" at all. If you re-read that last scene between us, I do mention that I tried to explain my feelings to her as tactfully as I knew how, but her reaction was violent and abusive. For example, she insulted me and called me names, while I had always been polite and friendly to her.

When I was writing that scene (when Joyce leaves us alone on the boat and Megan appears in a skimpy nightgown before dinner) I tried to put down the conversation between us but it sounded all wrong to me. I couldn't figure out how to do it right, convey her reaction. So I condensed it a bit, then went right to the following morning.

You can debate that this was poor narrative technique and maybe you're right, but I didn't have the skill to do it otherwise - I believed it was an effective compromise.

Anyhow, from my perspective, I was polite to Megan 100-percent of the time, without ever a single unkind word passing my lips. I did not tell her I found her completely unattractive, even though that was the case. I believed that if I continued to treat her nicely but platonically (as I would a sister or a female cousin or adult niece) she would understand and behave in a mature manner.

When the time came that I had to explain to her, carefully and tactfully, that I wanted to keep our relationship friendly but platonic, and I valued her as a sailing partner, she would not accept that and she reacted as a child would.

Some people (not necessarily you!) will refuse to accept this and come back at me, "Too bad, you're the man, it was your obligation to accept her as a sexual partner if that was her choice, and if you rejected her that was a cruel and inhuman thing to do!"

If that's your position, I can't change your mind.

One more thing: note that when I discussed my own situation, I took a mature and realistic view. I admitted that I was a short and unathletic man and I was pretty picky about my dates, when I could get them. I accepted this and I did not call the women who rejected me "cruel" or even "shallow" - I simply accepted it and went from there.

Hope that helps -

Again, thanks for your kind words about the book. I finished a novel this year - I'm going to revise it and find a publisher. Nothing about sailing, but it's an adventure story all the same.

Best regards,

Glenn
 
#338 ·
Glen, if that is the case, I stand corrected. Somehow I missed that in your book, or - as you say - it was a part not well described. Still, when it comes to describing women and your experiences with them, I got the impression that you lay your bad luck with them squarely on your looks. Sure, for some 95% of women looks make or break the deal and they can't help it. But I wonder if part of your problem is the way you act around them. And that is something you can learn to be better at. But you might have to practice it on 'less then your ideal' girls. Remember, while wolves prefer to hunt deer, they learn their skills catching mice. ;)
You have a good job, make decent money, you are a smart guy, your not a loser - there are many decent looking women who would give you a chance. Who knows, eventually you might even snag a real prize catch. But you have to practice catching mice first.

Glad to hear you have not given up on sailing. I'm sure this time around you will be much smarter in your choices and expectations. Same with women: one ugly but thorough experience will teach you a lot. ;)
 
#339 ·
Krisscross, I act fine. For most of my life I've held public contact jobs that require a fairly adequate personality (instructor, sales, etc.)! Most people who know me think I'm a fine and empathetic and courteous person. But I like pretty women (or those who are pretty to me). And here is a fact: a pretty woman will get the most handsome and physically fit man she can get. If one doesn't work, she will move on to the next. Yes, looks matter. They matter very much! There's no getting around it.

Look, I'm over this stuff. The events of the book occurred over ten years ago. I have my health, my friends, family, financial security, and I'm looking forward to establishing a reputation as a fiction author. Many people who know me (married people!) say, "I'd give anything to have your life." It's a pretty good life, with lots of freedom. I'm happy and satisfied with it. No, I am not willing to "settle" for a woman for whom I am not sexually attracted. My life is no less for not wanting to do that. In short, it is quite feasible for a man to live a good and productive life without having to mold his existence around a woman.

Thanks again for your input,

Happy New Year!

Glenn
 
#342 ·
I did buy the book and I also found the interactions with the women, particularly the part about Megan, a little depressing. It's not so much a judgement on Glenn or any of them but for me as a reader - I was glad that I am married. I don't think I would fare very well today in the "meet market".

I also wonder if its because the number of women who will cruise on a sailboat is a very small slice of the population. It would be like hitting the lottery to find a woman who is single, not crazy , beautiful and likes to sail.

For whatever reason, I think the part about rejecting Megan came across as particularly tough, especially the skimpy night gown scene. I think most guys reading that would imagine that silent rejection. Not realistic, but the readers imagination works that way. That part of the book could have used a bit more sympathy and some dialogue.


Still, it was a great read. I enjoyed it and imagined myself along for the trip so you did a good job. I hope you post a link to your new book when you get it published.
 
#344 ·
Thanks smackdaddy . . . I may well do that, but I want to be able to get a boat that is NOT a "fixer-upper" like Serenity (don't want to spend two or three years fixing up) and I want to be able to develop an income source, however modest, that doesn't rely on a paycheck from a company (hopefully that income source won't have to be social security!). Even with a nest egg, I know what it feels like to be afloat with NO income source whatsoever, and it's an ugly feeling (to me!). I'm working on establishing myself as a fiction author - but I'm doing it the slow & hard way (taking my time to research and write a first novel) rather than quickly pound-out a story and self-publish it for a buck or two (way too many people already doing that).

Happy New Year,

Glenn
 
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