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  #131  
Old 02-03-2013
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Glenn,

Just curious, I haven't yet had time to read your book, but I was wondering if you had it to do over again is there anything you think you could have done to avoid being on that lee shore before you even had engine problems.

Thank you.

Edit, Jon, love the pictures! Half expected to see Popeye in one of them ..


(and yes, before anyone posts it, I know that the town from the Popeye movie was in Malta ...)
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Last edited by wind_magic; 02-03-2013 at 09:59 AM. Reason: Edit
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  #132  
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Okay Glenn, I finished up the book last night. I've rated and reviewed the book for you at Amazon.

I enjoyed your story and understand that it is, of course, told from your point of view and your perceptions of the events as they occurred.

I found the character of "Joyce" to be difficult to understand. Initially portrayed as an experienced sailor, knowledgable and well connected in the Baja Ha Ha at least, you were eager to have her aboard and benefit from her experience. However, as soon as you set sail, her personality as portrayed was not what I expected. Unless your version of events is somewhat lacking in accuracy, Joyce is an aggressive, angry, psychotic bitch who seems to be very unstable. There doesn't seem to be any reason (as told) for her behavior, reactions to you and situations she was presented with. Personally, I would have put her off the boat first opportunity. I would not tolerate anyone treating me that way, reacting that way, or disrespecting my position on the boat. I don't care how good you are.

I think your experience with "Megan" was more valuable to you than you realize. You go on and on, more than necessary (IMHO) regarding your experience with women over your life. You talk in detail about how they've rejected you repeatedly because of your appearance and physical presence. You state clearly that you're only attracted to young, beautiful and slim women (duh, who isn't?) and will accept nothing less. You were very detailed and brutally honest about your reaction to Megan's physical appearance and your perception of her complete lack of physical beauty, resulting in a complete lack of attraction to her. Therein lies the lesson for you. Think about it.

I'm not attacking you personally or making any judgements about you at all. Please don't take my comments that way. I'm simply telling you how I, as a reader of your book, perceived what you, the author, have written about what you experienced and perceived the given situations. As an author, I would think this is invaluable to you so that in future works you can change how you come across. (or not)

BTW....beautiful women are nice to look at and fun to show off to your friends.....but they're not all that and a bag of chips. I landed one and married her. Biggest mistake of my life and greatest lessoned learned: If you want to be happy, you better like the person inside. That's what really matters. Looks fade quickly and so will your relationship if that's what it's based on.
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  #133  
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Joe,

Thanks for your review!

I put in the material about women and my experiences because it was essential to the story I wanted to tell. It was integral to the experience, and if I left it out or downplayed it it wouldn't have been the same story. Over all of human history, people have dreamed of going to sea as a means of escaping their demons on land. My personal demon was rejection. At sea, instead of leaving the demon behind, it was amplified - and coming at me in both directions, through my own actions as well as the actions of others.

Let me clarify about this "beautiful" woman thing. I probably should have been more clear in the book, but I do not require a woman to be beautiful to date her! In all the dates I have been on, maybe two at the most were in a real sense beautiful. But just like most people, there are women I am attracted to and those I am not. For some reason that is a mystery to me, I am pickier than most other men in my "hotness rank" (probably around a 3/10 when you consider my height, which does not show in photographs). My taste is probably similar to a man around 6' tall, age 35, fairly slender, professionally employed, around a 7/10 hotness rank. The part of my brain that likes women thinks I am THAT GUY. Even now, age 52, even fatter than I was when the story took place (2001-04).

Strange as it may seem, this is not a choice I deliberately make. It's just the way I am. Nowadays most people accept that gay men were born that way - they do not have a choice (I believe that is so, based on gay men I have known). Likewise, I do not find heavyset, plain women sexually apealing. I do not want to even TRY to sleep with them, much like a gay man rejects the idea of "trying" to sleep with a woman "just to see if he likes it" (although no doubt many have). I find that the idea of sleeping with an unappealing woman has every bit as much appeal as the thought of sleeping with another man! I'm not going to do it.

I wish I could publish a picture of "Megan," but I cannot (I don't want the potential legal hassle). You have to trust me: she was plenty huge, and plenty ugly. Rejecting her does not mean "all I want is beautiful women." I just don't want fat and ugly ones - see the difference?

My depiction of Joyce was accurate, but in a book, especially a book that is already quite long for a memoir by someone who is not famous or did not participate in an historic event, there isn't room to show "all the rest of it" because it's boring. As a strict rule for writing novels, screenplays and even memoirs, conflict is what drives the story and what makes it fun and interesting to read. It's just the way it is. Ever see the movie or read the book ALIVE - about the Andes survivors in 1971? In the book and in the movie, they are always fighting each other, always screaming, virtually always about to come to fisticuffs! Of course, in reality, 97-percent of the time they all got along fine and cooperated and helped each other. But if you wrote a book or a movie with only 2 or 3 percent conflict, it would be BORING. Unreadable, unwatchable. So far, a few people have complained about Breaking Seas because I did not sail around the world, but no one has ever called it boring.

Again, you have to trust me, in real life, everyone mostly got along fine, and Joyce and Megan taught me a lot about sailing and blue water cruising planning. But I did not want to write that kind of book where the characters plod through one dull scene after another, telling each other what they aleady know, "like in real life." Even for a true story that is meant to be honest and complete, the conflicts must drive everything.

Hope that helps to clarify! Keep those questions coming!

Glenn
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  #134  
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Wind magic,

Thanks for buying the book! I probably let myself get way too close to Cedros to begin with. I should have given it a much wider space, should have sailed further westward and not cut it so close - even though that would have added miles. And of course, I should have test fit the impellers!

I probably would have been alright if I had passed it on the east side too. In the autumn there's a limited chance of wild Santa Ana winds and I didn't want to risk it - read that out of a cruising guide. If the cruising guide didn't tell me that, I would have probably passed to the east, lost the wind and motored. I had enough fuel left to make Tortugas.

In retrospect, I might have waited until May, single handed the boat to Hawaii, then came back to California from there. The trip would have been a lot longer of course but probably safer and more comfortable - out of the shipping lanes, away from the rocks, and mostly steady trade winds. The Baja Bash from Cabo to CA is just a rought route to single hand!

Please let me know if you have any other questions!

Glenn
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  #135  
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

I realize that every person is attracted to different things, and Glenn is who he is, and should not be expected to change based on anyone else's comments, especially these semi-anonymous Internet comments.

But FWIW, I believe that the brain is the most important sex organ, and (especially as i have grown older) the attribute of a woman's "sexiness" is a complex relationship between her appearance and personality. The two need to fit together right to provide an attraction.

This is especially true as women grow older, where so many of the ones who were "hot" in their 20s age poorly, and many of the ones who were "plain" in their 20s somehow took care of themselves and became gorgeous, (sometimes curvy) women. To the extent that Glenn is willing to consider changing his attitude, I would encourage him to realize that he's in his 50s now, and the days of lusting after the stereotypical "hot" 20-somethings (and even 30-somethings) are over. The criteria for a sexy 40-something woman are very different, and he should get with the times.

On thing that I think is a universal truth - "high-maintenance" women are a turn-off, especially around boats. And, in my distant, vague memories from dating, it seems in retrospect that a surprisingly high percentage of the "hot" ones were very high maintenance.
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  #136  
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

did anyone besides me find the book boring? I read it just after "The Boy behind the Gate" gay circumnavigator's story and I told myself that I have to cut on all this junk.
Too much personal drama... If i want a sailing drama, I would read one of Seychalle stories (by Christine Kling), her heroine is cute.
Men are boring....

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  #137  
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

TakeFive, we have completely different outlooks on this topic. I do not find 40-something or 50-something women attractive at all. Not even a little bit. None of them.

It may have something to do with the fact that I enjoy - no, relish - my freedom and independence. For me, personally, the only reason it would make sense to get married is to start a family of my own. That means someone around 30, plus or minus 5 years, who wants children, and who I find attractive. That said, given my current age and physical traits, I'm more likely to win the California Lotto Jackpot than see that scenario materialize (especially since I don't play the lotto!). So I don't wasts time thinking about it. It was not to be.

I talked to my brother on the phone yesterday - he's been working as a civilian contractor in Afghanistan - first contract. He's dreaming of what he'll be doing in a couple of years and it sure doesn't involve working for someone else in the States. I'm going to get another boat over the next year or so, do it right this time (or closer to right!) - maybe something like a Catalina 36 or even something in the 45 foot range, about 10 years old - deals abound because of the economy. We'll sail it from LA or SF to Hawaii, bring two or three friends with us, hang out on the islands for a few months, then maybe hit the Puget Sound, Vancouver BC etc. I just feel fortunate to be able to do something like that, given the fact we are just one generation removed from an economic level where everyone left school at 16 and worked a manual, typically low paying job their entire lives. God bless America!
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  #138  
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Quote:
Originally Posted by TakeFive View Post
...and the days of lusting after the stereotypical "hot" 20-somethings (and even 30-somethings) are over...
Dude - what planet are you on?
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  #139  
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

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Originally Posted by smackdaddy View Post
Dude - what planet are you on?
Yes, out of context it sounds silly, because my sloppy wording did not convey the message I was trying make. I was referring to the unlikelihood of someone in his 50s successfully waiting for a hot 20-something to have a serious relationship with. Aside from philandering millionaires who "trade in for a new model" every 5 years, how many 50-somethings do you see having serious relationships with 20-somethings? It really doesn't happen with ordinary people.

As for looking and lusting, well, I realize that's a different matter and my words were not accurate.
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Here are my take-aways...

1. Who cares who Glenn's attracted to and who he isn't? All this crap about him needing to "change his attitude" and settle for fatter, uglier chicks? Please. It's his freakin' love life. And he's very open about the fact that he's got none, knows the reason why, and is cool with it. In the end, Glenn, from the book you strike me as the typical older single dude whose ways are so set that you'll probably never find a chick that you'll be able to truly tolerate. The fact that you recognize that your standards are likely impossibly high - and are okay finding a fun life outside of romance is cool. More power to you.

2. Composting heads are stupid. Sure...it's all about the "no smell" allure. Of course, when you're rolling in four people's sewage on your cabin sole, spitting that grit out of your mouth...well, I'll live with a bit of funk from my standard head thanks.

3. I was all about the Pudgy. They seem like the Swiss Army Knives of tenders. Just sounds like they don't work too well at any of the functions.

4. I'll never, ever, ever buy a full-keel boat.

5. I think you're pretty awesome for what you've done and your attitude about it all. Head over to the BFS shop (link in my sig) and register an account. I'll send you a free BFS hoodie. Hanging out on that sprit in a blow without getting flicked? You definitely deserve it dude.

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Last edited by smackdaddy; 02-03-2013 at 11:33 PM.
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