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  #161  
Old 02-05-2013
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Quote:
Originally Posted by wind_magic View Post
Nothing wrong with staying single.

Life is good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by glenndamato View Post
Lauder: She meant well. Many people can't believe it's possible to be a straight but unattached man and reject a woman - especially if the woman is 10 years younger and blond. They can't believe it. They assume you're just "shy" (uncertain, afraid, inexperienced, whatever) and you just need some social engineering. It's commonly accepted by many people that "a man will scr** anything." And I think that's pretty much true for 90-95 percent of men: they learn their "level of hotness" at an early age, and simply lower their standards until they have a steady mate. The unspoken conviction is that it's "better than nothing." People don't know what to make of a man who doesn't follow this process. I've found they often become extremely angry, for reasons obscure to me. This is why I was highly uncertainly whether I should put any of that stuff in the book at all. I realized that if left out, the story would be a hollow fabrication.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauderBoy View Post
I can actually relate to this pretty well, and I got the same sort of vibe from the book.

When I'm around most married couples I couldn't imagine being treated like the guy is being treated by the woman in the arrangement. Though oddly it's really easy for me to have women friends, it's expected/can be easy to set boundaries in a friendship.

Something like Joyce trying to set me up with Megan after I made my wishes known on the issue would've totally crossed the line.
At 49 now, I have watched my single friend get married, then go through terrible divorces - some get remarried and do it all over again. I see no sense in setting for the wrong person just to "be with someone" and both people end up loosing a lot, making some lawyers richer and kids unhappy.

I have no plans on getting married, I also have no plans on not. Here is my philosophy....

Quote:
I have an Open Door Policy. You are welcome to come in and join me and you are welcome to leave.
By living like this I get to meet many fantastic women, learn about them as they learn about me and then when the time comes we part ways. Interesting side effect is that I remain friends with 99% of them and we each have only great things to say about each other. No reasons to hate and many reasons to love. Not only can I be truly happy for them when they do meet their lifelong partners, I can, as then can, offer good advice that is unbiased. How often can you get that?

By the way, I also have a theory on marriage and children. Have then young enough that you can still adapt to their needs. I am too old to "sacrifice" anything for children. My dogs, sure! Children, never! Though I do love my nieces and nephews and admire my siblings for being able to do that. Just not for me and last I checked, humans were not on the endangered species list.
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  #162  
Old 02-05-2013
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Tom,

In hindsight I should have bought a medium-displacement boat, something like a Catalina 36, instead of the Downeast. I had read in books that heavy displacement boats would lie ahull much better than fin keels, and since I fully expected to round the Cape of Good Hope and sail the Roaring Forties single-handed, I figured I'd better go for a heavy displacement full keel!

If I could establish some kind of income stream writing (novels, non-fiction, anything) I will consider living aboard a large, comfortable boat, maybe something like a Catalina 46 or a sailboat in that range. I don't have a house or dependents, so this would be relatively simple to do if I could just generate a reliable income to replace the darn job!

I would seasonaly sail between California, Mexico, Hawaii, and maybe Puget Sound. I'd be wiser with respect to crew, as people you don't know might mean well but they can be highly unreliable with respect to actually going (detailed in the book). I've got maybe 15 or so friends and family who swear up and down they would help me sail from the west coast of the US or Mexico to Hawaii, even after I told them they would need to set aside at least a month. In reality, it would be amazing if even two or three out of the 15 or so actually do a voyage like that, with all the sudden reasons that crop up that lock people into their routine ("Well, I really want to, but now is not a good time . . .").

One thing is for sure: after several years of recession, there are incredible deals to be had in boats from good, solid manufacturers, 34-48 feet, in the 10 year-old range. Lots of previous high-rollers are now cash strapped and they want to get out, but there aren't that many serious buyers relative to the supply of boats for sale.

Best reagrds,

Glenn
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  #163  
Old 02-05-2013
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silvio View Post
Well crap,
I ordered a version of this book and now am not sure if it is compatible with my reader. It came in a package that requires some user input, it appears that I must manually "move" the opening "screen", "app", or whatever the technical term is for the front of the package with the art work. It appears to have some form of mechanical hinge that is not obvious at first glance but does appear to be quite cleverly designed and functional.

After rotating the artwork I am able to see the writing, note that clicking the writing does not open a new screen or advance the text. I found that after reading the first page of text I was able to repeat the actions that moved the artwork aside and revealed the text to advance through to the next screen.

The bookmark function does not seem to be working but I found that I can manually place a chopstick (left over from take out) between the text delivery modules and am able to quickly locate where I left off reading.

I am finding the tactile experience of this delivery system to be oddly rewarding and surprisingly portable.
I also have tried using a chop stick to maintain a position marker but this makes a bump in the TDM (Text Delivery Module). It also tends to gouge various parts of my anatomy if I carry the TDM in one of my hip pockets.

I find that the little sleeve package the chopsticks come in makes an excellent place marker for TDMs of this sort. I prefer the ones with an open end rather than the tear open variety. They are usually more colorful and made of better paper.

Have FUN!
O'
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  #164  
Old 02-06-2013
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Newbe with no experience buys big boat

I read the Kindle version, and it was a good read.

To whoever doubted the Joyce character, I thought she was probably the most realistic character in the book. I know, and have worked with, a dozen of her. As I read, I saw her face and heard her voice.

I vehemently disagree with Glenn's assessment of standard marine heads and holding tanks, however. My standard Jabsco hand-pumped head is odorless. The key is a little simple maintenance--i.e., ensure no crap is left in the hoses by flushing everything into the tank. Pump out the tank regularly, and never leave anything in it for long periods of disuse. Before any period of disuse, pump fresh water through the hoses (I have a valve that allows me to pump from the head sink to the toilet). Rinse out the tank with fresh water a couple times, and, once clean, leave it full of fresh water, not dry. This keeps any residual paper or crap from hardening into paper mâché, which will eventually cause clogs. It's much simpler than maintaining compost and avoiding the runs, and I don't even have that Home Depot garden smell.
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  #165  
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Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Not sure why this app garbled "paper mache"
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  #166  
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Thanks for the info, Jbaffoh. And thanks for reading the book!

I believe it also matters how well your holding tank is ventilated. The familiar sour, "gas station restroom" smell found on too many cruising boats (where the san system sees heavy use) is the result of anearobic bacteria: bacteria that thrive as long as there is no oxygen. Let plenty of air flow through the holding tank, and when it swashes around the waste is aerated and the anearobic bugs die - the aerobic bugs don't stink.

You're right - what's in the hoses matters a lot. To prevent that common anaerobic stink, you'll have to make sure all guests do what they are supposted to do. Flushing the hoses clear of waste, every time, means the holding tank will fill up faster in port or at anchor.

Composting heads are not perfect, but I feel they are a viable alternative, with a couple of caveats. The two most wonderful things about them are: no pump outs, ever, and no possibility of anything getting clogged, ever - no hoses, pumps, or valves at all.

I like the idea of being able to get rid of the sanitary waste as solid waste, with the rest of the garbage, ashore. No need to visit a pumpout station, and no need to dump a holding tank into the pristine waters off a beach or in a lagoon.

Couple that with the SPACE you save by not having a holding tank and the associated plumbing.

The AirHead system and similar marine composting tanks have greatly increased in price since I bought mine almost ten years ago. Then again, almost everything in the West catalog has greatly increased in price - if you're installing a totally new system, I'd guess that the composting unit would be less expensive, total, than a good quality standard head with the assoicated tank and plumbing.

Thanks for the input!
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Newbe with no experience buys big boat

You win on the space argument. And since my tank is well ventilated, perhaps that helps with the smell. But it's hard to understand why pump-outs are a problem. I've never spent more than a week on my boat without crossing the 3-mile line offshore at least twice, and pumping is simply a matter of flipping on the macerator pump for a few minutes. As for environmental concerns, the two humans on my boat produce less waste combined than any one of the wall-to-wall sea lions or dolphins in So Cal, much less the run-off from the zillions of birds. I don't feel any need to apologize to Mother Earth for being one more mammal, albeit a small one, crapping in the sea.
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

I was thinking in terms of avoiding the necessity of pulling up the hook or leaving the dock just for a pump out.
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  #169  
Old 02-06-2013
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Glenn,
Just finished the book. I enjoyed it quite a bit.
Something about the way you wrote regarding the character of Joyce made her very real and almost familiar to me. Your interactions with her seem to have been very intense and I have the impression that she definitely left her mark on you. It would be very interesting to hear how she would tell the story of your trip. Have you ever heard her tell her version of the story? Not saying that as if there would be controversy, rather it would be fun to hear how two people perceive the same event in different ways.

I hope you continue to sail as it sounds like there is so much that you enjoy about sailing. There are plenty of intermediate places between "leaving it all behind and circumnavigating" and "not sailing at all."

Coastal cruising for weeks or months at a time is very rewarding with enough challenges to satisfy many sailors and with the benefit of never being far from internet, news papers, and all the convenience of shore life. Well, at least here on the east coast I find coastal cruising to be that way. My own long term cruising goals do not extend beyond the Virgin islands, at least not yet.

Hopefully you'll stick around sailnet, there are some good folks here, some world cruisers, many day and weekenders, and plenty of us coastal folks.

Cheers!
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  #170  
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Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Silvio,

Thanks for reading the book! Glad to hear you liked it. I don't care what Joyce says, my version is the way it actually happened!! ; > )

Seriously, I have only been in touch with Joyce a few times over the past eight years (the voyage in the book took place in 2004). She is still sailing actively. Joyce is not her actual name, by the way - all of the characters except Duffy, Jon, Tweety and my brother and his family underwent a name change. Everything else about them - age, appearance, personality, is as it was in real life.

Joyce knows about the book and we swaped a couple of emails but after the book came out she did not respond any longer. I have an old email for Doug that hasn't worked in a while - he is over 70, and I believe he has health problems. I have tried to make him aware of the book but I don't know if I got through.

You're right, sailnet is great - I wish I knew about this in 2002-03-04 - I probably did but it was one of the many things that had to be sacrificed to do more boat work.

I do want to get out there again - writing the book (which I did at the request (demand) of friends) rekindled the old call. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I have a very good tech job, and if I leave it at age 52 I will most likely never see another job like that ever again. That sounds wimpy, I know, but I don't have any assets for my retirement - no real estate, wealthy parents with a will, etc. I have to think about staying out of a state run nursing home, and if you've ever seen one, you'd know why.

If I can just generate an income stream outside of my regular work, I can afford to get something like a Catalina 36 around ten years old for cash (good deals now abound) and live aboard, if I can find a spot on the west coast, and then seasonally migrate between California, Mexico, Hawaii, maybe Puget/Seattle/Vancouver. Gotta have that income stream first, because I don't want to end up indigent (been there, done that).

Keep in touch!

Following seas,

Glenn
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