Newbe with no experience buys big boat - Page 34 - SailNet Community
 283Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #331 of 344 Old 02-10-2014
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Marina del Rey, CA
Posts: 107
Thanks: 5
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Rep Power: 3
 
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

"Bob Porter" was one of the "Bobs" that Peter had his "meeting with the Bobs" with. Good catch!
glenndamato is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #332 of 344 Old 02-10-2014
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Marina del Rey, CA
Posts: 107
Thanks: 5
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Rep Power: 3
 
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

It's great that he found a replacement out in the Pacific, without ordering it and waiting for it.
glenndamato is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #333 of 344 Old 02-11-2014
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 37
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
 
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Here is a photo of the end result.
Attached Thumbnails
IMG_0501.jpg  
glenndamato likes this.
jhaley66 is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #334 of 344 Old 02-11-2014
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Marina del Rey, CA
Posts: 107
Thanks: 5
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Rep Power: 3
 
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Thanks! But not really brilliance - Doug and I had built the bilge pumping systems including the hoses, and I had replaced all the hoses associated with the engine - fuel and raw water. I was familiar with all the the hoses and I knew they were both the same inside diameter. It shows the importance of being completely familiar with your systems!
TakeFive likes this.
glenndamato is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #335 of 344 Old 02-11-2014
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Marina del Rey, CA
Posts: 107
Thanks: 5
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Rep Power: 3
 
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Those hose clamps come in handy - nice to have a box of various sizes. We used black rubber hose on Serenity.
glenndamato is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #336 of 344 Old 12-30-2014
Senior Member
 
krisscross's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 2,063
Thanks: 25
Thanked 122 Times in 121 Posts
Rep Power: 3
 
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Glen, I bought your book a while ago, but only read it recently over about weeks time.
I liked it a lot. Very honest account, well written, lots of good info and ideas for less experienced sailors, good sense of humor. Money well spent.

But... if you don't mind me being honest, the way you treated "Megan" struck me as really cold. Sure she was fat and ugly, I can understand why you did not want to get involved with her romantically. But she was a good crew to you and a fellow human being. She put herself out there for you, willing to offer you what we all cherish most, a gift of our true companionship. Yet, you showed her no heart, and no respect. You did not even want to talk to her about it, choosing instead a silent rejection. You showed her about as much heart and respect as all these pretty women who did a drive-by rejection, or equivalent, on you. Dude, that is wrong. Of all the people in the world, one would think that you knew how it feels to be rejected that way.
Most of the time folks get what they deserve. And unless we learn how to treat others with kindness and respect, other people will not treat us that way. The way I see it, "Megan" was the big test for you when it comes to women, and you, my friend, failed that test. I'm sure you don't give a hoot about an advice on life from some unknown dude, but here it is:

Treat others like you would want to be treated if you were in their place.
Fat and ugly people have feelings too.
JimMcGee likes this.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Plato
krisscross is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #337 of 344 Old 12-30-2014
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Marina del Rey, CA
Posts: 107
Thanks: 5
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Rep Power: 3
 
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Krisscross,

I'm glad to hear you enjoyed Breaking Seas, but I have to disagree with your judgment on how I treated Megan (not her real name). This is probably due to how I wrote the final scene between her and I. In my inexperience as a writer, I didn't write the scene clearly enough to get across to some readers what happened.

It was not a "silent rejection" at all. If you re-read that last scene between us, I do mention that I tried to explain my feelings to her as tactfully as I knew how, but her reaction was violent and abusive. For example, she insulted me and called me names, while I had always been polite and friendly to her.

When I was writing that scene (when Joyce leaves us alone on the boat and Megan appears in a skimpy nightgown before dinner) I tried to put down the conversation between us but it sounded all wrong to me. I couldn't figure out how to do it right, convey her reaction. So I condensed it a bit, then went right to the following morning.

You can debate that this was poor narrative technique and maybe you're right, but I didn't have the skill to do it otherwise - I believed it was an effective compromise.

Anyhow, from my perspective, I was polite to Megan 100-percent of the time, without ever a single unkind word passing my lips. I did not tell her I found her completely unattractive, even though that was the case. I believed that if I continued to treat her nicely but platonically (as I would a sister or a female cousin or adult niece) she would understand and behave in a mature manner.

When the time came that I had to explain to her, carefully and tactfully, that I wanted to keep our relationship friendly but platonic, and I valued her as a sailing partner, she would not accept that and she reacted as a child would.

Some people (not necessarily you!) will refuse to accept this and come back at me, "Too bad, you're the man, it was your obligation to accept her as a sexual partner if that was her choice, and if you rejected her that was a cruel and inhuman thing to do!"

If that's your position, I can't change your mind.

One more thing: note that when I discussed my own situation, I took a mature and realistic view. I admitted that I was a short and unathletic man and I was pretty picky about my dates, when I could get them. I accepted this and I did not call the women who rejected me "cruel" or even "shallow" - I simply accepted it and went from there.

Hope that helps -

Again, thanks for your kind words about the book. I finished a novel this year - I'm going to revise it and find a publisher. Nothing about sailing, but it's an adventure story all the same.

Best regards,

Glenn
Sal Paradise likes this.
glenndamato is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #338 of 344 Old 12-30-2014
Senior Member
 
krisscross's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 2,063
Thanks: 25
Thanked 122 Times in 121 Posts
Rep Power: 3
 
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Glen, if that is the case, I stand corrected. Somehow I missed that in your book, or - as you say - it was a part not well described. Still, when it comes to describing women and your experiences with them, I got the impression that you lay your bad luck with them squarely on your looks. Sure, for some 95% of women looks make or break the deal and they can't help it. But I wonder if part of your problem is the way you act around them. And that is something you can learn to be better at. But you might have to practice it on 'less then your ideal' girls. Remember, while wolves prefer to hunt deer, they learn their skills catching mice.
You have a good job, make decent money, you are a smart guy, your not a loser - there are many decent looking women who would give you a chance. Who knows, eventually you might even snag a real prize catch. But you have to practice catching mice first.

Glad to hear you have not given up on sailing. I'm sure this time around you will be much smarter in your choices and expectations. Same with women: one ugly but thorough experience will teach you a lot.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Plato
krisscross is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #339 of 344 Old 12-30-2014
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Marina del Rey, CA
Posts: 107
Thanks: 5
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Rep Power: 3
 
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Krisscross, I act fine. For most of my life I've held public contact jobs that require a fairly adequate personality (instructor, sales, etc.)! Most people who know me think I'm a fine and empathetic and courteous person. But I like pretty women (or those who are pretty to me). And here is a fact: a pretty woman will get the most handsome and physically fit man she can get. If one doesn't work, she will move on to the next. Yes, looks matter. They matter very much! There's no getting around it.

Look, I'm over this stuff. The events of the book occurred over ten years ago. I have my health, my friends, family, financial security, and I'm looking forward to establishing a reputation as a fiction author. Many people who know me (married people!) say, "I'd give anything to have your life." It's a pretty good life, with lots of freedom. I'm happy and satisfied with it. No, I am not willing to "settle" for a woman for whom I am not sexually attracted. My life is no less for not wanting to do that. In short, it is quite feasible for a man to live a good and productive life without having to mold his existence around a woman.

Thanks again for your input,

Happy New Year!

Glenn
glenndamato is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #340 of 344 Old 12-30-2014
Senior Member
 
krisscross's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 2,063
Thanks: 25
Thanked 122 Times in 121 Posts
Rep Power: 3
 
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

OK, I get it.
Best of luck writing fiction novels, Glen. I almost never care to read them, but they seem to sell.
glenndamato likes this.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Plato
krisscross is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the SailNet Community forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
Please note: After entering 3 characters a list of Usernames already in use will appear and the list will disappear once a valid Username is entered.


User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Mr. B Buys A Boat- Adventures in Boat Shopping bbremer10 Boat Review and Purchase Forum 85 04-18-2013 12:34 AM
Thomaston boat builder buys foreclosed-on sailboat - Bangor Daily News NewsReader News Feeds 0 08-01-2012 08:40 PM
Newbe SKlem Introduce Yourself 4 09-22-2011 12:43 AM
5hortBu5 Buys a Boat 5hortBu5 General Discussion (sailing related) 4 09-07-2010 10:08 AM
Newbie buys a boat! gar37bic Columbia & Coronado 1 09-23-2007 09:15 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome