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Newbe with no experience buys big boat

63K views 343 replies 85 participants last post by  glenndamato 
#1 ·
I just finished this book.
Breaking Seas: An overweight, middle-aged computer nerd buys his first boat, quits his job, and sails off to adventure: Glenn Damato: 9780985816209: Amazon.com: Books@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51VUNGcnmUL.@@AMEPARAM@@51VUNGcnmUL

What a fun read. Every couple of months someone asks if they can buy a boat with no experience and do some serious cruising. Not something I would do but everyone is different.

This guy did it and really barred his soul about what worked and what didn't work. I'm going to try to get him to join this forum so you animals can tear him up as is your custom.:)

For a short fat guy he is tough as nails and I'm sure can take it.
He found himself on a lee shore with a busted impeller and a full keel boat that would not point.
He saved the boat, with a clever hack, how did he do it.
 
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#125 ·
I'm up to Chapter 9. Nice read.

I design processes for manufacturing ink jet inks, so paper printing is my bread and butter. On-demand printers like CreateSpace are moving ink jet technology, so I need to root for them.

My oldest son is "working for the enemy" in his Kindle job at Amazon.

However, I REALLY hope that the upcoming Chapman 67 is released in digital form. That thing is too big to lug around.
 
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#127 ·
I'm up to Chapter 9. Nice read.

I design processes for manufacturing ink jet inks, so paper printing is my bread and butter. On-demand printers like CreateSpace are moving ink jet technology, so I need to root for them.
The on demand printer/binders are really neat technology. Politics and Prose in DC has one. I have yet to see it in action but I do enjoy looking at it while my wife browses.
 
#126 ·
I do have another question for Glenn: Did the "supporting characters" in your book know you were going to write a book about your experiences? Did you seek their permission before publishing? If so, at what point did you approach them?
 
#128 ·
TakeFive: Joyce and Doug (not their real names) know about the book, but they have not responded since it was published. Joyce took the photo that was used to create the cover, and she is cool with my using it.

I also disguised the characters Megan, Richard and Loukia so they are not possible to track down. Characters from "InfoData" (not the real name of the company) and some of the characters from the marina have been disguised and combined too. Duffy was that man's real name, however - everything about him is the same as real life. Tweety and Jon and my brother Paul and his wife Katie and their three kids are in the book with their real names. All characters are accurate with respect to their age, appearance, gender, and personal characteristics.

In the US memoir writing is considered a form of free press, so it is not necessary to get someone's permission to include them in a book. However, libel laws still apply - no one was defamed in this book, of course.

It is always true (at least in the US) that you cannot publish a photo of another person for commercial purposes without their expressed permission. This is also strictly enforced. In order to keep this project as simple as possible, I decided early on not to publish anyone else's likeness. The only exception is "Karl," the German guy who went to the top of my mast to unfoul our jib. I don't think he'll have a problem with it!
 
#131 · (Edited)
Glenn,

Just curious, I haven't yet had time to read your book, but I was wondering if you had it to do over again is there anything you think you could have done to avoid being on that lee shore before you even had engine problems.

Thank you.

Edit, Jon, love the pictures! Half expected to see Popeye in one of them ..


(and yes, before anyone posts it, I know that the town from the Popeye movie was in Malta ...)
 
#132 ·
Okay Glenn, I finished up the book last night. I've rated and reviewed the book for you at Amazon.

I enjoyed your story and understand that it is, of course, told from your point of view and your perceptions of the events as they occurred.

I found the character of "Joyce" to be difficult to understand. Initially portrayed as an experienced sailor, knowledgable and well connected in the Baja Ha Ha at least, you were eager to have her aboard and benefit from her experience. However, as soon as you set sail, her personality as portrayed was not what I expected. Unless your version of events is somewhat lacking in accuracy, Joyce is an aggressive, angry, psychotic ***** who seems to be very unstable. There doesn't seem to be any reason (as told) for her behavior, reactions to you and situations she was presented with. Personally, I would have put her off the boat first opportunity. I would not tolerate anyone treating me that way, reacting that way, or disrespecting my position on the boat. I don't care how good you are.

I think your experience with "Megan" was more valuable to you than you realize. You go on and on, more than necessary (IMHO) regarding your experience with women over your life. You talk in detail about how they've rejected you repeatedly because of your appearance and physical presence. You state clearly that you're only attracted to young, beautiful and slim women (duh, who isn't?) and will accept nothing less. You were very detailed and brutally honest about your reaction to Megan's physical appearance and your perception of her complete lack of physical beauty, resulting in a complete lack of attraction to her. Therein lies the lesson for you. Think about it.

I'm not attacking you personally or making any judgements about you at all. Please don't take my comments that way. I'm simply telling you how I, as a reader of your book, perceived what you, the author, have written about what you experienced and perceived the given situations. As an author, I would think this is invaluable to you so that in future works you can change how you come across. (or not)

BTW....beautiful women are nice to look at and fun to show off to your friends.....but they're not all that and a bag of chips. I landed one and married her. Biggest mistake of my life and greatest lessoned learned: If you want to be happy, you better like the person inside. That's what really matters. Looks fade quickly and so will your relationship if that's what it's based on.
 
#134 ·
Wind magic,

Thanks for buying the book! I probably let myself get way too close to Cedros to begin with. I should have given it a much wider space, should have sailed further westward and not cut it so close - even though that would have added miles. And of course, I should have test fit the impellers!

I probably would have been alright if I had passed it on the east side too. In the autumn there's a limited chance of wild Santa Ana winds and I didn't want to risk it - read that out of a cruising guide. If the cruising guide didn't tell me that, I would have probably passed to the east, lost the wind and motored. I had enough fuel left to make Tortugas.

In retrospect, I might have waited until May, single handed the boat to Hawaii, then came back to California from there. The trip would have been a lot longer of course but probably safer and more comfortable - out of the shipping lanes, away from the rocks, and mostly steady trade winds. The Baja Bash from Cabo to CA is just a rought route to single hand!

Please let me know if you have any other questions!

Glenn
 
#135 ·
I realize that every person is attracted to different things, and Glenn is who he is, and should not be expected to change based on anyone else's comments, especially these semi-anonymous Internet comments. ;)

But FWIW, I believe that the brain is the most important sex organ, and (especially as i have grown older) the attribute of a woman's "sexiness" is a complex relationship between her appearance and personality. The two need to fit together right to provide an attraction.

This is especially true as women grow older, where so many of the ones who were "hot" in their 20s age poorly, and many of the ones who were "plain" in their 20s somehow took care of themselves and became gorgeous, (sometimes curvy) women. To the extent that Glenn is willing to consider changing his attitude, I would encourage him to realize that he's in his 50s now, and the days of lusting after the stereotypical "hot" 20-somethings (and even 30-somethings) are over. The criteria for a sexy 40-something woman are very different, and he should get with the times.

On thing that I think is a universal truth - "high-maintenance" women are a turn-off, especially around boats. And, in my distant, vague memories from dating, it seems in retrospect that a surprisingly high percentage of the "hot" ones were very high maintenance.
 
#136 · (Edited)
did anyone besides me find the book boring? I read it just after "The Boy behind the Gate" gay circumnavigator's story and I told myself that I have to cut on all this junk.
Too much personal drama... If i want a sailing drama, I would read one of Seychalle stories (by Christine Kling), her heroine is cute.
Men are boring....

CrazyRU, broke solo guy on a small boat.
 
#137 ·
TakeFive, we have completely different outlooks on this topic. I do not find 40-something or 50-something women attractive at all. Not even a little bit. None of them.

It may have something to do with the fact that I enjoy - no, relish - my freedom and independence. For me, personally, the only reason it would make sense to get married is to start a family of my own. That means someone around 30, plus or minus 5 years, who wants children, and who I find attractive. That said, given my current age and physical traits, I'm more likely to win the California Lotto Jackpot than see that scenario materialize (especially since I don't play the lotto!). So I don't wasts time thinking about it. It was not to be.

I talked to my brother on the phone yesterday - he's been working as a civilian contractor in Afghanistan - first contract. He's dreaming of what he'll be doing in a couple of years and it sure doesn't involve working for someone else in the States. I'm going to get another boat over the next year or so, do it right this time (or closer to right!) - maybe something like a Catalina 36 or even something in the 45 foot range, about 10 years old - deals abound because of the economy. We'll sail it from LA or SF to Hawaii, bring two or three friends with us, hang out on the islands for a few months, then maybe hit the Puget Sound, Vancouver BC etc. I just feel fortunate to be able to do something like that, given the fact we are just one generation removed from an economic level where everyone left school at 16 and worked a manual, typically low paying job their entire lives. God bless America!
 
#140 · (Edited)
Here are my take-aways...

1. Who cares who Glenn's attracted to and who he isn't? All this crap about him needing to "change his attitude" and settle for fatter, uglier chicks? Please. It's his freakin' love life. And he's very open about the fact that he's got none, knows the reason why, and is cool with it. In the end, Glenn, from the book you strike me as the typical older single dude whose ways are so set that you'll probably never find a chick that you'll be able to truly tolerate. The fact that you recognize that your standards are likely impossibly high - and are okay finding a fun life outside of romance is cool. More power to you.

2. Composting heads are stupid. Sure...it's all about the "no smell" allure. Of course, when you're rolling in four people's sewage on your cabin sole, spitting that grit out of your mouth...well, I'll live with a bit of funk from my standard head thanks.

3. I was all about the Pudgy. They seem like the Swiss Army Knives of tenders. Just sounds like they don't work too well at any of the functions.

4. I'll never, ever, ever buy a full-keel boat.

5. I think you're pretty awesome for what you've done and your attitude about it all. Head over to the BFS shop (link in my sig) and register an account. I'll send you a free BFS hoodie. Hanging out on that sprit in a blow without getting flicked? You definitely deserve it dude.

 
#142 ·
That's a good one, Smackdaddy. I'm baffled when people are shocked (shocked!) that someone as "old" as me, 52, expresses attraction to 20-somethings and 30-somethings. Some people react as if it were really strange, practically a perversion.

Forty years ago a 55-35 relationship was very, very much in style. Steve McQueen and Ali MgGraw in the original The Getaway, to name just one example of many.

A hundred years ago the perfect ages for a newly married middle class couple was 45 and 25. He was mature and financially and professionally successful. She was young and pretty and the ideal physical age to have children. Millions of couples with that age spread married - which was why there were so many widows during the 1930's and 40's.

I'm mystified as to why a 50-something man would be motivated to marry a 50-something woman. I'm not saying it's "wrong" of course, but it's a mystery to me why the man would be motived (or a woman with a successful career who is self-supporting). They won't have children. They won't be approved for adoption. Is the man just too lazy to cook and clean for himself? I don't understand.
 
#143 ·
Smack and TakeFive:

Your're right, it's not a topic we're going to make progress on. I am not "waiting" for a 20 or 30-something anyhow - I do not expect to ever date again, and I am cool with that. I have a tremendous amount of time and energy (and money!) at my disposal, not to mention freedom. I'm happy with the way things turned out, and I feel grateful and fortunate for what I have. Hallmark is NOT gonna make a card with this, but the truth is some people can be happy without a lover.

Composting heads can work very well on a boat with two caveats: one or two people aboard, and no one pisses into the main tank. If those two limitations can be met, I believe it is a far better option than the traditional hoses, valves, and tank.

I wouldn't buy a Portland Pudgy again. I was attracted to it because they marketed it as a lifeboat/tender. This way, I figured, I wouldn't need a $6000 liferaft. In reality, two people at the most would fit in that thing under realistic conditions. And I would not want to have to wrestle it into the water in any kind of sea while my vessel was on fire or sinking fast. With four people aboard, I had to get the liferaft anyhow.

Thanks for the BFS hoodie Smack! You dah man!
 
#148 ·
Glenn,

I essentially cut and pasted David's post here to other forae.
At Anything-Sailing I actually defended you from a coincidental happenstance: Newbie with no experience buys big boat

There is not that much traffic there but they are an interesting group of folks.

I also posted it over at sailboatowners.com which got a few replies: Newbie with no experience buys big boat - SailboatOwners.com

I did finish reading your book on my kindle a day or so ago. I did enjoy reading it as I'm sure many other boaters would. All in all, congrats on accomplishing what you were able to, Ha Ha and back single handed.
 
#145 ·
Well we disagree about a few things, and some of my opinions probably sounded too closed-minded, so I won't try to defend them.

You seem like a decent guy, and you wrote a good book. I really respect you for getting out there and trying to live the dream, and even more so for changing course once you realized the dream wasn't cracked up to what you thought it would be. You obviously learned a lot about sailing - and about yourself - in the process. And it sounds like life has been OK in the ~10 years since the events in the book took place.

I look forward to having you hang around here for awhile.
 
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#150 ·
I forget exactly who, Joe, but I get that advice all the time! All told, it's a pretty fruitless topic, but it can be interesting to see cognative dissonance at work, how people can hold two mutually exclusive beliefs at the same time, without noticing they contradict. In this case, 1. Beauty is subjective, in the eye of the beholder, and 2. YOU must define YOUR notion of beauty the same as other people. If other men consider an overweight 50-something woman beautiful, you must also.

Can't both be true at the same time, yet people accept them side by side. I guess it's an old evolutionary quirk inside our heads: people do not like to see functional humans without a mate, and all reasons for it are rejected out of hand.
 
#152 ·
Lauder: She meant well. Many people can't believe it's possible to be a straight but unattached man and reject a woman - especially if the woman is 10 years younger and blond. They can't believe it. They assume you're just "shy" (uncertain, afraid, inexperienced, whatever) and you just need some social engineering. It's commonly accepted by many people that "a man will scr** anything." And I think that's pretty much true for 90-95 percent of men: they learn their "level of hotness" at an early age, and simply lower their standards until they have a steady mate. The unspoken conviction is that it's "better than nothing." People don't know what to make of a man who doesn't follow this process. I've found they often become extremely angry, for reasons obscure to me. This is why I was highly uncertainly whether I should put any of that stuff in the book at all. I realized that if left out, the story would be a hollow fabrication.
 
#156 ·
That was caleb not me that posted in the other forums.
Links don't have to work just go to the sites google them and search for the thread.
 
#161 ·
Lauder: She meant well. Many people can't believe it's possible to be a straight but unattached man and reject a woman - especially if the woman is 10 years younger and blond. They can't believe it. They assume you're just "shy" (uncertain, afraid, inexperienced, whatever) and you just need some social engineering. It's commonly accepted by many people that "a man will scr** anything." And I think that's pretty much true for 90-95 percent of men: they learn their "level of hotness" at an early age, and simply lower their standards until they have a steady mate. The unspoken conviction is that it's "better than nothing." People don't know what to make of a man who doesn't follow this process. I've found they often become extremely angry, for reasons obscure to me. This is why I was highly uncertainly whether I should put any of that stuff in the book at all. I realized that if left out, the story would be a hollow fabrication.
I can actually relate to this pretty well, and I got the same sort of vibe from the book.

When I'm around most married couples I couldn't imagine being treated like the guy is being treated by the woman in the arrangement. Though oddly it's really easy for me to have women friends, it's expected/can be easy to set boundaries in a friendship.

Something like Joyce trying to set me up with Megan after I made my wishes known on the issue would've totally crossed the line.
At 49 now, I have watched my single friend get married, then go through terrible divorces - some get remarried and do it all over again. I see no sense in setting for the wrong person just to "be with someone" and both people end up loosing a lot, making some lawyers richer and kids unhappy.

I have no plans on getting married, I also have no plans on not. Here is my philosophy....

I have an Open Door Policy. You are welcome to come in and join me and you are welcome to leave.
By living like this I get to meet many fantastic women, learn about them as they learn about me and then when the time comes we part ways. Interesting side effect is that I remain friends with 99% of them and we each have only great things to say about each other. No reasons to hate and many reasons to love. Not only can I be truly happy for them when they do meet their lifelong partners, I can, as then can, offer good advice that is unbiased. How often can you get that?

By the way, I also have a theory on marriage and children. Have then young enough that you can still adapt to their needs. I am too old to "sacrifice" anything for children. My dogs, sure! Children, never! Though I do love my nieces and nephews and admire my siblings for being able to do that. Just not for me and last I checked, humans were not on the endangered species list. :rolleyes:
 
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