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Go Back   SailNet Community > General Interest > General Discussion (sailing related)
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  #21  
Old 05-29-2013
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

Yeah beer drinkers never spill or get obnoxious or drunk. Smoking doesn't impair you ability to make quick decisions when sailing. Beer does.
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  #22  
Old 05-29-2013
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

Re KPM1284,


Americans are definitely more generous than other nationalities...

Your thoughts also relate to you cruising from home, or in home waters, and not cruising full time as retirees on a budget.

I do like the American generosity, and it is quite apparent... I learned only to argue about who is paying a restaurant bill for a few moments before giving up LOLOL... However it must be tough on friends visiting retired couples cruising when the cruisers are busting their budget to host.

For the situation in this thread, I think the hubbies friend sounds like he will be difficult no matter the financial side of it. It sounds like you will be bar girl! Get me another beer! And he ain't gunna be volunteering for washing up, deck swapping the ash etc etc... As you said it could be a long week.

Maybe you could tell hubbie you have other things to do that week and hubbie can have an all boys week while you take a shopping trip to New York?



Mark
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  #23  
Old 05-29-2013
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkofSeaLife View Post
Re KPM1284,

...
Maybe you could tell hubbie you have other things to do that week and hubbie can have an all boys week while you take a shopping trip to New York?



Mark
I'm definitely with mark here. Life is too short to spend a week in close quarters with someone that you already know will grate on your nerves. I think my wife would see it as the perfect time to have a "spa week" with the girls and leave me with the guys on the boat.
Maybe your schedule would accommodate a day or two of either alone time ashore or girls time away from the guys to help keep you on an even keel?

Just suggestions.
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  #24  
Old 05-29-2013
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

NOB,

can you fix your avatar? Its starting to hurt my neck.

I dont know why but people always seem to bring red wine and drip it on my boat. Looks like someone speared a marlin in the cockpit.

White wine only or beer please!
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  #25  
Old 05-29-2013
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

If you're not comfortable enough with these people to discuss expectations before you go (both financial and other behaviors mentioned above) then maybe you want to rethink inviting them. I see nothing wrong with "You're our guests and we will pay all the boat expenses like fuel and marinas, but we could use some help with the food and beer" or whatever variation works for you. That said, I'd personally only include on my list of friends, those people with enough grace that I could count on them to offer to buy one or more dinners out, and help with boat chores, before I ever asked them.
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  #26  
Old 05-29-2013
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

As a rule, I expect nothing and ask for nothing. However, I can't recall having anyone other than the kids/cousins aboard for more than a day that didn't voluntarily bring something or offer to pay ashore.

If I don't enjoy having them aboard or feel like they are freeloaders, I don't ever invite them back. The list of people wanting to come is longer than the season. Easy fix.

Sounds like this guy is on a return trip, because he is your husbands friend. So, it's simple. Either the two of you agree to accommodate him or your husband makes the expectation clear before the invitation is accepted. Seems the horse is out of the barn.

Both my wife and I will have guests aboard that one of us isn't crazy about, but never for an entire week. Life's too short and so is the sailing season. An objectionable friends gets two days one night, max.
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

Help with boat chores. That's an interesting one. I consider it a gift from heaven, if someone will crawl in the v-berth and change sheets. If they volunteer to do the laundry at the marina, they get their choice of weeks next year!

However, I find it incredibly annoying to have someone help me wash the boat. One can't wash, while the other rinses. I prefer having everyone leave to do something else, while I take care of it.
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  #28  
Old 05-29-2013
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

as far as expenses I would agree with Silvio entirely. possible exception being to tell them if they desire anything specific they must provide their own.

as far as the two guests...you invited both and both should be treated the same. I would not let mr smoker determine the course of sail however. your boat, your rules.

for the guy who helped out over the off season maybe a small token of gratitude or a separate sail with just him as a guest?
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  #29  
Old 05-29-2013
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

My wife and I often have guest for long weekends or even longer trips, like the one you are planning. First of all, it is technically illegal to ask for "consideration" in return for the voyage, unless you are a USCG certified captain or sailing outside of US waters. If you ask for money for fuel, marinas, then you are receiving pay for the voyage. Even if you ask for food, booze, whatever.

For practical purposes, we do not ask our crew/guests to pay for anything that we would have had to pay for if it was just us. Fuel and marinas fall into this category. On long trips, we often ask each crew to plan and prepare simple meals while underway or at anchor (Bob, you make breakfast on Saturday for everyone; Jimmy, you make lunch...and so on). We include ourselves when dividing up the meal plan. Ashore, it is each to his own (unless it is a special occasion or a race or something where I'll pick up the tab). Although not expected, it is nice when the crew picks up our tab for dinners ashore.

We've also started asking crew to bring thier own linens, blankest, towels, etc.

We bring plenty of booze, beer, soft drinks, and water for everyone. The crew/guests do the same almost always.
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  #30  
Old 05-29-2013
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

It's interesting reading the responses.... Every boat is different!
So I think its very important to work out how it's going to be on your boat and communicate that with the guests before they get on, whilst they still have a chance to back out.


One interesting thing is cooking.. Some it seems is the hosts responsibility for the whole week! Some quick and simple etc.
With my last two guests one who was on the boat for a month and a half including a lot of sailing and islands... We did it day by day. A person cooks AND cleans up for one whole day and the idea is to make all meals special and one meal an extravaganza.

It worked extremely well! We had fantastic meals for 1 1/2 months and only had to wash up once every few days. It made everyone responsible when we went shopping, giving everyone time to work out some Secret Special Ingredient.

Mark
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