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  #1  
Old 05-28-2013
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Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

We are married couple going sailing for the week with two bachelor friends. I usually provide some breakfast foods all lunches and all dinners when we were at anchorages. How do people suggest we handle alcohol as well as Marina fees and dinners at marinas amongst the crew? We will probably be at anchor for three nights and at a marina for four different nights. Should we expect the others to offer to pay for a marina slip, or perhaps dinner for night? Even though we are inviting them on this trip we would like some expenses to be shared and I'm not sure how to divide expenses. I usually spend at least $300 in groceries or more for the week.
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Old 05-28-2013
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

It's a good question and I'm sure you will get a lot of varied answers. Mine is simply how I do it and nothing more than my own opinion for what that's worth.

When we invite people onboard we assume that they are coming as our guests just as if they were coming into our home ashore. i expect to pay all expenses that are attached to the boat, fuel, dockage, food onboard, etc. Anything on shore is either "Dutch" or I will accept a meal on my guests, if offered, but I never expect them to get the check. Alcohol is completely up to my guests as my wife and I are non drinkers. I always spell that out up front as we drink non-alcohol beer and are not opposed to our guests providing and enjoying their own adult beverages.

If I were inviting just one of my buddies to go on an adventure and I wanted to split costs I would still expect to pay MOST dockage, mooring, fuel, etc. unless we were docking more frequently than I would otherwise and said buddy had input into the itinerary. If we agreed up front to take turns being responsible for meals I can see splitting the grocery cost.

It will be interesting to hear how others approach it.
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Old 05-28-2013
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

This is just me doing things. It may not be the approach for you or others.

1. If I invite a few friends to come on board for a few days without mentioning the money. It means that everything is free for them once they get on board. This will include the on-shore expenses. However, most of my friends properly will be upset if I don't let them to pay for a dinner or two if we eat out.

2. If I invite others that I don't know well but like to get to know them. I extend the invitation with a statement that what will be covered and what will be the share cost. Since I am the one who initiate the invite, by default, I will bear most of the cost of this event.

3. To me, it is considered bad taste if i suggest a get-to-gather, and have other bears the blunt of the expenditure.

I am with the old school. I usually do the first one. Friend are forever. It gives and takes. All works out at the end and who is counting. Besides, it is only money, we can always make some more.
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Old 05-28-2013
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

I appreciate your input. One of our friends has been VERY helpful off season helping us install new windows and painting the hull and polishing the deck. The other " crew" member tends tobe not as helplful and wants to be treated as a guest, no matter what, even though he knows how to sail. If we tell him we are ready to come about he says " let me finish my cigarette first", so its always on his schedule. I am not so eager to " pick up his tab"" as I would be the other person. But yes, this is a very subjective topic. A week is a long trip.
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Old 05-28-2013
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

I don't think it shoul be expected for you to cover the costs. I say split the food, alcohol and marinas right down the middle. You ARE provided the boat.

Just casually say when you are talking about the trip.

"We were planning to anchor for part of the trip so lets split the time spent in the marina. We don't have a fully stocked bar and kitchen so start thinking about what our like to eat and drink."

Perfectly acceptable to me. They may very well offer to pay for the marinas.

I would say gas is on you unless the outright offer. I disagree that it's only money. If you take people out enough and have to foot the bill, maybe even subconsciously that will be a detergent to taking them again. It's like camping. If I invited friends i go camping with me I would expect that we all share expenses. It's only assumed you are paying if its a girl and its a date.

Last edited by northoceanbeach; 05-28-2013 at 08:31 PM.
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

It's difficult to know your group dynamics. I think that if you invited them and wanted them to share expenses; that should have probably been spelled out up front.

If you typically provide food while onboard and while at anchor, then I'd continue that practice. I do the same. But I let crew know what I have on board and if they want anything special for themselve to bring it.

Alcohol could be BYOB, and any shoreside dinners are on your own.

I'd expect Marina fees, fuel etc to be yours..unless previously arranged otherwise. But, they may offer to help on their own.
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

In New Zealand there is generally a culture of bring-your-own unless it's a sit down dinner at someone's home in which case a bottle or two of wine is taken along. So when folks come to our boat, they generally discuss with the catering manager (my wife) beforehand what they should bring and between us all the meals are taken care of jointly.

Booze is on each couple/person. Bring your own whatever you want and we'll probably end up sharing yours and mine.

But as far as the boat costs go, that's on me. I would be going sailing anyway and whether I have guests or not, I would pay for fuel, marinas, pump-outs, etc. so I would never even suggest that we share those costs.
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Old 05-28-2013
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

First declare your boat a no smoking zone (unless you're smokers yourselves!)

Seriously, we have done several trips on friends' boats in exotic locations and it does/will vary with the people involved and their expectations.

Our hosts in Mexico refused to let us pay for anything despite our sincere efforts to help in some way. That was what they wanted.

Our hosts in the Caribbean allowed us to help cover costs and we were happy to do so. These trips were usually a couple of weeks, sometimes 4 guests so between us we established a 'boat kitty' fund and from that we bought groceries, paid port fees and most marina fees. It was a comfortable arrangement for both parties, and once established worked well for subsequent visits. (I think we did that 4 or 5 times)

When we have guests (including our Caribbean host couple) while we have no expectations, of course they reciprocate - most often more than we might like.... but I see nothing wrong with a guest picking up the odd meal costs, or marina fees if they are so inclined.

A friend had some visitors last year that treated her like a (un)paid skipper, waitress and chambermaid all in one. It became an uncomfortable situation and one that will probably never happen again. I think it's probably best to clarify expectations all around before the trip commences. Remember there are few more escape-proof situations than a boat at sea....
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

I can't see why you are inviting the guy that demands to be treated like a guest and tells you to wait while he smokes!

It's a week that won't work IMHO and if you haven't already invited him then don't! If you have then this thread is too late.

Different to the other responses... And perhaps as I am cruising full time, when my friends come from Australia (not all of them) they pay for everything during the week they are on board.. All groceries, all marinas, all touristy stuff, all meals out. I have provided the boat and free accomodation a and they pick up the rest. EVERYTHING.

And it's a damn pleasure to have them aboard!

The other friends... Like the last two that were on board for two weeks and one and half months... With those girls it's more like backpacking with friends Everything is split down the middle, marina fees, transport, dinners out, groceries... But with groceries anyone who bought something weird to eat, or personal etc paid for that themselves.
It was just like sharing a house when young, or being at university, or backpacking.

I don't think I would ever take on friends where they are to be treated and paid for like the OP suggests. The boat and maintenance means I am on a very tight budget and I am not going to be eating sawdust for a month so a few smokers can live it up on my wallet for a week.
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Re: Sailing with friends for a week, expenses?

I dont see how it matters that they are smokers. It's the same as if the guy said "wait to tack until I finish my beer"
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