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post #31 of 67 Old 08-05-2014
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Re: Making it comfortable for her

keep that same **** (crap) off my boat!

Don't blow air up my rear, be useful and blow it at the sails!
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post #32 of 67 Old 08-05-2014 Thread Starter
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Re: Making it comfortable for her

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Originally Posted by Don0190 View Post
keep that same **** (crap) off my boat!
What (crap)? I'm confused.

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post #33 of 67 Old 08-05-2014
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Re: Making it comfortable for her

You knit? That sure makes me smile, 1, that you do this, 2, that you admit doing it, that's says a lot, especially also about the kind of relationship you two have. I think its really great!

Good luck with everything and I hope you will have many cozy warm peaceful evenings knitting together. Nothing more rewarding than when you create something with your own hands!
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post #34 of 67 Old 08-05-2014
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Re: Making it comfortable for her

I appreciate the OP's original question and looking through the responses, I've yet to see the improvements that have made a difference for me on our boat. My husband and I are healthy and fit, but there *are* strength differences between us so I appreciate that we have the correct sized winches and that we've planned the traveler and backstay w/ mechanical advantage. Do you have a windlass? Trust me, it matters. (I'm not suggesting women can't operate these things but it depends on the boat) What dinghy do you have? Can you safely get onto it? Can she? Are things well maintained so you don't need to use a dozen tools just to get a shackle off?

More than any tangible thing, I've appreciated my husband patiently sharing his knowledge of how to do certain boat/sailing things. He's been sailing for many years longer than I. The fact that the OP is already asking shows he cares about her which will make your sailing that much richer!
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post #35 of 67 Old 08-06-2014 Thread Starter
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Re: Making it comfortable for her

Joy, those are some great questions/suggestions. As my wife will freely admit, there are some physical (read upper body strength) differences between us that need to be taken into consideration.

I'm not sure about the winch size yet, as our maiden sail will (hopefully) be this week. We've been working on a refit which includes replacing the halyard blocks.

We've not yet investigated dinghies yet as we are only a 22 foot boat and aren't sure how to fit a dinghy into/on to it yet. I guess we could tow one. More likely, I'll just raise the swing keel and get very close to shore if we want to go hiking, or dock it for provisioning at least in the beginning. Being on an inshore lake has its advantages.

We are really learning as we go here, but one thing I'm adamant about is that she should be able to do anything I can when it comes to the operation of the boat. Team work is essential, and how can you have a team if you don't read off the same playbook?

Thank you very much for your insight.

-Chris

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post #36 of 67 Old 08-06-2014
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Re: Making it comfortable for her

A few things that got me at-a-boys:

* Safe, tasty water. Chlorine in the tank + a good filter at the tap. Or whole-boat filtration.
* More comfortable seating.
* Either AC or a big fan (>20") for very hot conditions. Or both.
* Better heating.
* Additional hand-holds.
* Easier dingy boarding.
* Anything that improves reliability. Often even small problems add more stress than you realize. Aim for event-free.
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post #37 of 67 Old 08-07-2014
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Re: Making it comfortable for her

This hammock was a great way to add some lounging space to our boat. It is unbelievably comfy. Funny thing is, my wife bought it for me, and now I hardly get a chance to use it. But, that's fine with me as I love to see her relaxed, and generally enjoy tinkering around with stuff while at anchor anyway.

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post #38 of 67 Old 08-07-2014 Thread Starter
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Re: Making it comfortable for her

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This hammock was a great way to add some lounging space to our boat. It is unbelievably comfy. Funny thing is, my wife bought it for me, and now I hardly get a chance to use it. But, that's fine with me as I love to see her relaxed, and generally enjoy tinkering around with stuff while at anchor anyway.

How is that attached to the mast/forestay? It looks confy, and anything to add to the useful space on a small boat it welcome!

The average man will bristle if you say his father was dishonest, but he will brag a little if he discovers that his great-grandfather was a pirate. Bern Williams
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post #39 of 67 Old 08-07-2014
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Re: Making it comfortable for her

Please don't put that hammock on your 22 footer!

By the way, if you have a shelf foot main, and eased main halyard, instant hammock, just saying... Watch for the accidental gybe though.

However, I love Denise's response. My wife isn't into sailing, and I've wondered if there was some way to get her to see why I love it so. She's sailed with me a bunch of times when I had my 22, when I went to my 25, she only went a couple of times. Obviously I have gotten more confident in my sailing abilities, so could be I'm pushing the boat more and she's still in the same place.. I dunno.

First, my wife is no shrinking violet... She rides horses, participates in what is a male dominated sport (running bird dogs), swims well, and isn't even slightly afraid of water.

I don't want to get REAL far off topic, but frankly, on a 22 footer, you need a decent head, a comfy mattress, and generally enough space to sit up straight. That should work for overnights on the 22, as long as tight quarters are OK with her (and both of you).

But I'd love to get back on the how do you really get the disinterested wife to look at sailing as the destination, not as a means of transport. Obviously it's tiller-time, but I can't even get the wife to want to try it (which is unusual for her, because she wants to try just about anything). That's really not a gender thing either, as you can spot others that think the same way... usually the ones that go, you know, if you had a motorboat, you'd have gotten there in 1/4 the time.

Sorry didn't mean to hijack.

"Rum Line" a 1982, S2 7.9 - Production boat limit tester, blue-water bucket owner, with wine taste on a beer budget.
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post #40 of 67 Old 08-07-2014
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Re: Making it comfortable for her

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But I'd love to get back on the how do you really get the disinterested wife to look at sailing as the destination

You can start by talking to HER, not to the Internet fora. I'm not kidding.

It may be that she doesn't like sailing, and that's how it's going to be, and you should accept that and work within those parameters. It's not the end of the world if a couple has different interests; the problems start when the couple doesn't support one another in those interests. Give and take, that is to say.
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