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HerSailnet...Ground Rules

30K views 66 replies 34 participants last post by  Jeff_H 
#1 ·
This is a thread that is primarily BY and FOR the female members of Sailnet where they can post and share questions and concerns with others in an adult and rational way. It is not:
1. A place for the men of sailnet to post "want ads"
2. A place where conversation, language and content will be permitted to degenerate into "locker room" standards that may be acceptable in the off topic forum.

Moderators will manage this sub-forum more aggressively and delete posts and threads that do not meet this higher standard as we try to carve out a more female friendly place within Sailnet.
We encourage our female members to find a home here and to report any posts you find objectionable using the "report post" icon in the top right corner of each message.
Thanks in advance to all for your cooperation.
 
#2 ·
Well said Cam... :D
 
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#3 ·
:confused: I'm very much of two minds about this - I appreciate the spirit in which it was meant, and at the same time hope I'm strong enough to take care of myself out there in the big world...

Other opinions?

I have the same ambivalence about "women-only" sailing instruction, but perhaps that's fodder for a separate thread.
 
#62 ·
I'm of a like mindset. I like to think that our sex does not define who we are as individuals. We aren't baboons after all, inside each one of us is a thinking being with a personality all our own that far transcends mere sex. I believe that to focus on a persons sex is to deny in some way their much more important humanity.
 
#4 ·
Eryka...I KNOW you can take care of yourself! (g) ...but others have been put off by the "boys club" atmosphere (which I cherish!) throughout sailnet and wanted a place where things were a bit more, shall we say, refined. It is not too much to carve out a small section of the site where we try a bit harder to be gentlemen and where the ladies of sailnet can gather to address their own concerns. See you on "off topic"!! (g)
 
#5 ·
Fair point - perhaps we should create a forum for 'class acts only'? :D of either gender?

BTW and speaking of class acts, we were dinghying up Back Creek the other evening and saw sunlight glinting off a certain gold boat name on a dark-hulled stern. Unfortunately it still had a broker's "For Sale" sign on it and not a "Sold" sign - how's that going?
 
#6 ·
Then I would only get to talk to myself... and where would SD get all his posts? You have to think reality!! HAHA!

- CD

PS I am 110% behind the post. I feel there should be a place where females can gather and speak frankly with each other without our influence. Just my support, Cam.
 
#8 ·
Cam, I certainly didn't mean to diminish your intent, and think 'off-topic' is the appropriate place to be rude and crude - even Giu's sometimes awful photoshops. But IMHO, we could/should try to be somewhat civilized in all the rest of the site. Guess I need to live in the same reality CD mentioned. <*sigh*>
 
#9 ·
Eryka-

CD doesn't live in reality... he's obviously delusional... especially if he thinks that he'd pass the entrance standards Cam has set. :D
 
#13 ·
CD, sweetie, whatever gave you the idea that I was kicking you? I have a great deal of empathy for the mentally ill (don't worry, I won't call you nutbucket, I heard y'all don't like that). I would never kick someone in your position. Now make sure you take your meds like a good little boy, 'kay, pumpkin? :D :D :D
 
#14 ·
First thing I want to to say is Thank you to the moderators. It is long over due. While tongue and cheek and locker room talk has it's place in some settings, I felt in Hersailnet it didn't. They guys have made comments in the past that women don't post here often and I have always contend that they won't due to locker room talk that sometimes happens here. Sailnet offers a great venue to great discussion's on matters related to sailing. It has a worldwide audience therefore, with it a certain amount of responsibility occurs. I put out the gauntlet to the moderators that they have a choice on the quality of where they want this great website to be and go too. No other public forum on the internet allows the locker room talk that this site offers with maybe the exception of SA (sailing anarchy). I don't have a problem really myself in this talk but I am thinking of the others that don't or rarely post here of either gender because they are afraid of getting slander for all to see. I don't think most people care for that. If someone wants to ask a question or raise an issue one shouldn't be afraid of the responses they might get.
 
#15 ·
I find myself thinking along the same lines as Melrna on this. Anything not in the Off Topic forum should follow some sort of decorum in the responses. This though, I think is something that it is up to each member to do on their own. Keeping the sarcasm and name calling out of the Sailing forums would only enhance the site in my opinion. One can disagree with an opinion, without calling the giver of it ________ (take your pick of the appropriate word). There are no stupid questions, and what may seem simple and self evident to one, may not to another.

I challenge all the regular posters to reply with a sense of class, fairness, and civility, while remembering, at one point you were just learning as well.
 
#16 ·
Eryka...thanks...the blue boat remains lonely but we have some folks coming to see it. They are supposed to wash her down and clean the exterior a bit for me in the next few days...pls. let me know if she is not looking good by boat show time!! Thanks.

Mel...happy to make it nicer here but we don't plan to change much outside of this subforum. I see the rest of the site as somewhere between the Anarchy of SA and the dullness of a couple of the other forums and without the raunchiness of Lat& Atts ... so some will look elsewhere and others will find a happy home here. Cheers!! (g)

PB...I will disagree. While we allow a bit more leeway in the of topic threads...there is plenty of room for strong opinions in the sailing threads. Some ideas are dangerous or idiotic and deserve ridicule. I think sarcasm, ridicule and well reasoned responses all have a place here. I also think that once a legitimate question has been answered fully, part of the unique appeal of this site is how we let the humor take over. It is against the rules here to attack people...it is not against the rules to attack ideas or plans or stupid comments. (I am thinking of CCP, Cjoe, Knothead and others in this context.) There are plenty of places to go for factual boring discussions of what anchor to buy...I have yet to find another sailnet.
 
#17 ·
I understand what you're saying cam, I just feel that intial responses should be more reasoned, than confrontational. At times, there seems to be a sense of meaness (for lack of a better word) that seems to come too easily. I don't mind humor and good natured ribbing, and think it does add to things. I just don't find the mean-spriited kind very enjoyable to read, or associate with.
 
#20 ·
Well, a spot just for us ladies? How nice...there does seem to be a bit of 'potty mouth' on some of the guy threads.

Sooooo ladies. What do you want to do with this spot?

I'd be interested in hearing from other women who've single handed their boat, even if it's just a short trip, particularly your first trip. What went well and what could you have done better and was there anything 'annoying'?

This spring I took our Newport 30 down the Columbia river to have her hauled out and the bottom painted and new zinc put on. The trip down was nice, good weather but I was a bit tense as I'd not traveled down this channel before. Plus I wasn't exactly sure what the boat yard would look like from the water. The trip down was easy and went well.

It was bringing her back to the club that turned out to be annoying.

I had my daughter on board with me as well as Buddy our chihuahua. The weather wasn't the best and I grabbed my foul weather gear, as I could see a dark weather line coming in. My daughter stayed below with a nice little fire going in the solid fuel heater...which sent a sliver of smoke in my direction.

I motored up the channel, yes I used the iron jenny as there was no wind. As I passed the first set of docked boats a 'nice man' began telling me how he wished he could go sailing. As a matter of fact he talked to me until he ran out of dock.

A little farther upriver I become aware of the fact that many of the guys working on the docks were look at my boat. Some of them are actually running and jumping over stuff to get a better look. Now, if I was a young, svelte, chick-y-babe I'd have thought they were looking at me! But being the old bat that I am, I figured I was having problems.

So I check the dark cloud line which by now was quite close and then lean over the stern to be sure I've water pumping out the back. Sure enough I can see the water pump is working fine. Now I'm frowning...maybe I'm going too fast, check my wake, almost none. Maybe I'm on the wrong side of the markers, nope.

Drats! The rain starts pouring and I pull the hood from my foulies over my head. I see a small commercial fishing boat just ahead of me and I slow down until I can figure out which way to pass them as this is a really narrow channel. As I moved past the entire crew comes running to say hi and look at the boat....hummm...now I'm really feeling weird!

Finally I'm out on the Columbia and the rain pours down and the fog screeched in. Visibility dropped to almost nothing! On came my running lights...we have commercial barges and I wanted them to be able to see me even if I was staying outside of the channel.

GPS in hand, eyes straining to see and smoke making them water...I slowly make my way back to our slip in the club. Later while talking with a much more seasoned lady sailor in our club...it was pointed out that the guys weren't looking at the boat. It's just soooooo odd to see a woman by herself on a boat.

How offensive! Ladies we as a group, have to do better. It's something I harp on periodically in my blog. Women are perfectly capable....we just have to push beyond our comfort zone.

So, how about it? Anyone else? :)
 
#21 ·
Sailhagg,
Quite inspiring story, well related.

It has been noted often that this forum is basically dead, and no one wants it that way. All attempts to keep it going have petered out due to lack of female interest. Would that your polemic might inspire others to join in. It really is quite a blank canvas with a lot of potential, but it's going to take women, not men, to make a go of it.

In my opinion, you are probably going to have to symbolically throw the men out. Otherwise the forum will be just like the others with only a female name over it. The emphasis has to be on the female perspective. How you'd go about getting the boy's to just shut up and listen is beyond me. Limiting the topics might help, most seamanship, gear, and maintenance questions are gender neutral. And our current crop of female hardy's is quite comfortable giving us guy's a sharp elbo in the ribs when needed-they play on a level field with us in the other forums.

Aside from whatever feelings you may have about your appearance, we are enthusiastic supporters of women sailing; after all, they were'nt talking about some guy when they referred to a face that launched a thousand ships. And we're big on any good excuses for launching ships. I think you'll find that there is an almost undetectable presence of men who dislike women on board; you'll find countless threads devoted to just the opposite goal-involving wives, girlfriends, and children more. We look forward to more of your enthusiasm and well told stories.
 
#23 ·
Sailway.. I hear you.. and I am trying to maybe bring it back if I can. I hope to keep some of the locker talk out of here. Why I ask the moderators to put some controls in here.

Sailhag. .. Welcome. great story. I can relate. Last year I sailed alone a lot and it took the guys a few months to figure I was for real ( can handle the boat) and them not coming to my rescue. Chivalry may still exist out there. Now, when I do sail alone or with other women , I think most of the guys that see me(us) are saying to themselves, "Way to go", "Wish my wife would do that" or maybe other thoughts of the romantic nature. I don't consider myself a looker or the age of models either but as sailors go, their standards are well,, you'll figure it out. Just look at all the pictures they post on the other threads.. LOL.

We women can sail if they have the want, desire and motivation. I have a saying that I call the three AAA's: Attitude, Aptitude, Ambition. A pearl of wisdom that most succussful people have.
Melissa
 
#24 ·
When we first started sailing, we'd turn heads simply because the girl was at the helm and the guy was on the bow. (This was in redneck country - I can't even imagine the response if I was single handing) The harbormaster liked us because we didn't yell at each other - thank goodness for hand signals - and always gave us an 'easy' slip ... until he figured out that we didn't need the special treatment.

To go with the 3 'A's do we need an acronym? GULLS - for Gutsy Unstoppable Lady Sailors?
 
#26 · (Edited)
I've posted to other forums here before and I've looked at this one but as sailaway points out few women join in. I think it's almost the same as taking the helm. Look at it this way ladies (those who are reading and not writing) no one will yell at you, tell you you're doing it wrong, your stupid, etc. So even if all you do is type in 'hi'...it's a start.

As far as my appearance Sailaway (see this is why guys don't need to be here) I hold my own against my own age group...but no one looks good in fouiles!

Aside from my own 'dock ape idiot' who supports my handling the boat...because he really doesn't want to take the helm.... I find all the men I've met, save one jerk, support me at the helm. Although my DAI likes to yell. I think many women don't take the helm because they don't want to be yelled at.

I've made some boo-boo's and I've left marks on the topside :( but I simple refuse to allow myself to be so embarrased that I stop learning. Besides, I know this is how men learn to do things. At least my DAI does. If he did it and it went wrong...it's my fault, if I did it and it went wrong...it's my fault. Thus, I've taken a page from the mens book on 'how to communicate'...I yell back at him. He's learning not to yell at me ;)

Eryka, I love GULLS...we just have to convince the rest of the ladies out there that it's the truth. So, come on ladies, grab a cup of coffee...or glass of wine and lets talk!

Eryka, my blog's PacificNorthwestBoating.com I only started it a few months ago, my thoughts were that maybe others could learn from my boo-boo's...

Melrna, I think you're right that others are wishing their wives/girlfriends would take a clue from those of us who take the helm. Maybe the guys need to look at the gear and adjust for smaller muscles? I'd love to hear about some of your time at the helm.

Thanks for the welcome all! Fair Winds!
 
#27 ·


Now I say this is beautiful!! And Thank God that Chivalry is not dead. :cool:

I for one greatly appreciate this sentiment and thought process regarding making this a user friendly internet port for the women's club "Really lucky women" Who enjoy sailing and do not just put up with it for their husbands or significant other's sake.


~~**~*~~Thanks Cam and all other moderators who watch this for us ladies:D


 
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#31 ·
Singlehand Too

This is my first post here. I too singlehand. I purchased a Westerly last year, lived aboard it in Md., and when spring arrived I sailed it alone down the Chesapeake to Va. My first thought was to have it delivered to Va., but I knew I just had to sail it myself. Yes, my little ship and I bonded.

The sail down was the greatest experience out their alone. While sailing to VA., I anchored out once and docked at two marinas along the way. Stopped at a little village - Reedville - strolled the main street - found a nice little ice cream shop, and just enjoyed the quiet little creek. Next morning the fishing boats were out early, as I was, and I had a wonderful sail down the Bay. Fellow sailors were extremely nice and helpful, and yes I did get some "I can't believe you're doing this by yourself" when it was realized a woman was sailing alone; and I am not a spring chicken - 58 yrs. young.

My Westerly is presently on the hard, bottom painting, etc., as I am trying to learn everything I can about maintenance, with the help of my brother.

I plan on taking the ICW route in another year. I can't imagine doing anything else, but being out there.

Carilee
 
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