Hi Ladies,
Do any of you read the general discussion? It is all men on there and one of them has to sell his boat because his wife is unhappy.
Tell him what he has to do to make her happy and confident. Teacher her, and let her sail it and be in control. As I have learned the real way you learn to sail is by the mistakes you make; then you remember and learn how to remedy that mistake. Your brain, your skills, and a little help from the Captain!! If necessary. It is a joint effort; Sailing and cruising= Happy Cruising!!
Sue
Unfortunately, some women are too stubborn to want to learn or listen.
__________________
Sailingdog Telstar 28
New England
You know what the first rule of sailing is? ...Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take
a boat to the sea you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of the worlds. Love keeps
her going when she oughta fall down, tells you she's hurting 'fore she keens. Makes her a home.
—Cpt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity (edited)
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Saildog,, Shoe fits on the other foot too... Be careful what you say. Some women just don't like sailing period. Nothing you can do about it. Just like most men don't like shopping, caring for the children or house.
My wife used to not like sailing all that much, until she and three friends (all women) took the boat for a week long cruise. They did a lot of motoring (30hrs on the clock!) but they also sailed a bunch too. Since that trip she is truly in love with sailing and no longer fears the wind. She also got pretty good at docking and now usually takes the wheel while I man the lines. Which I wasn't thrilled with at first, but it really does make more sense, (just don't tell my wife I said that).
My wife used to not like sailing all that much, until she and three friends (all women) took the boat for a week long cruise. They did a lot of motoring (30hrs on the clock!) but they also sailed a bunch too. Since that trip she is truly in love with sailing and no longer fears the wind. She also got pretty good at docking and now usually takes the wheel while I man the lines. Which I wasn't thrilled with at first, but it really does make more sense, (just don't tell my wife I said that).
How did you get your wife to take a week long cruise if she didn't like sailing that much? Was it her idea, yours, or one of the friends?
I wish I could get the woman to take the tiller when docking. She is just as capable at docking as I am, but not nearly as capable of fending off what I am going to run into :P
My wife, or more correctly, the woman whose husband I am, is a reluctant sailor. She was never around water much at all and was nervous in any boat and especially when heeled over in our sailboat or when out in some chop.
She took sailing lessons in dinghys with all the bumps and dumps which that entails (she called it sailing boot camp). After that, our boat seemed a lot safer and more comfortable. She is more confident when she's at the wheel and understands sail trimming when she isn't. She's really made an effort and as a result found something else that she can do well.
Now, I damn well know I'm going to pay for it, and I'm not talking about shoe shopping. There's ballroom dancing lessons or worse in store for me, I just know it, but I will do my best to enjoy it or grin and bear it if I don't.
The point is, I appreciate what she did, for me, for us, and I take many opportunities to say so and show it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeftyI36
My wife used to not like sailing all that much, until she and three friends (all women) took the boat for a week long cruise......Since that trip she is truly in love with sailing and no longer fears the wind.
I like this idea! Suzie's never taken the boat out by herself, so it has to start with daysails, but it could be a goal to aspire to.
I had to chime in here. A few years back I introduced my now wife, then fiance' to sailing. She is starkly petrified of new experiences, and a heeling boat would have sent her over the edge on our first outing. Maybe it's my careful nature. But at first I just motored her out. She loved the air and got used to the motion, then began to notice the pretty colors of the spinnakers that where flying. As the day progressed, and with a modest nudge from a famous Captain named "Morgan" she suggested we fly a genoa. As I raised the forward sail she let out a giggle when she realized we were under "air power" During this endevor she was manning the helm by default. I told her to just keep us going straight while I went forward. She achived the same feeling of wonder I got the first time I felt the breeze "lifting" the boat. Every sailor will testify to that feeling. She was hooked. A few more outings and I took the best picture I have of her. She is standing in the cockpit bench, looking over the boom (and holding fast onto it) with one foot on the tiller, smiling ear to ear. She is in a soft cotton t-shirt and responding "nicely" to the cool breeze. This is a site all sailor dream of. That's all I'll say about that.
When the inevetable decision was made to limit my toys/projects after the wedding she went straight for the old 944 I have. I don't want to give up my 944, but the boat never came into the question. Now she says "When are you going to finish the bottom paint so we can go out!!!" Tis weekend dear, I promise. be her friend, not her Captain!!! Girls just want to have fun.
How did you get your wife to take a week long cruise if she didn't like sailing that much? Was it her idea, yours, or one of the friends?
It was mostly my idea, but she was all for it. She loves to cruise, and one of her friends is a pretty experienced sailor, so I suggested they go down to Ensenada. They spent a lot more time shopping, cooking and drinking wine, than they did sailing, but they sailed nearly everyday and on the trip back they sailed upwind for 60 miles before firing up the motor, (she never would have let me do that. ) I think they are planning another trip further south in October. I hope so.
Very true... but I think to really decide whether you like sailing, you have to really try it... my late wife didn't know anything about sailing, but she was at least willing to try it. She never really had any experience with boating growing up, and was at least open to the idea of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melrna
Saildog,, Shoe fits on the other foot too... Be careful what you say. Some women just don't like sailing period. Nothing you can do about it. Just like most men don't like shopping, caring for the children or house.
__________________
Sailingdog Telstar 28
New England
You know what the first rule of sailing is? ...Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take
a boat to the sea you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of the worlds. Love keeps
her going when she oughta fall down, tells you she's hurting 'fore she keens. Makes her a home.
—Cpt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity (edited)
If you're new to the Sailnet Forums... please read this POST.
) I think they are planning another trip further south in October. I hope so.
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