Looks - detriment or asset?

[MaryBeth]

On the "Advice" board there''s been a recent commentary on how being attractive or homely can be a detriment or an asset to one''s sailing''s experience and the ability to obtain more sailing experience. Help me, here, please.

I find it totally unfair that those wanting crew, whether for a daysail or a cruise, look to the attractive while overlooking the experience. When I stated that I was experienced and expressed outrage at the thought that the person was saying that "being attractive doesn''t hurt" the person asked straight out if I was ''homely''. How rude and how repressed!!

Anyway, to express any opinions any of you may feel, please look to the ''advice'' board.

Thank you,
MaryBeth

[sailor582002]

MaryBeth,
I am another "shallow" male and have been following the interesting banter on this subject. I''m sure the "homely" remark was quite tounge in cheek. The problem with this e-mail type of comunication is that we cannot hear the voice inflection or see facial expressions of the respondant which are also vital aspects of clear communication. Therefore written remarks are often taken out of context. The fact that you were so defensive in the attractive vs. experience comment opened the door for redicule. Whether a person is attractive or not is totally how one person sees or finds in another and like opinion, varies widely. While some look only at the outward beauty for the attraction, others look at the total person which is also part of the attraction and definately should be considered in any circumstance. Personally, I have never seen a homely women, fact remains though that some are prettier than others. Speaking in general terms for the male gender, I venture to say that unfortunately most tend to critique only the outward portion and stop there.
From reading your comments and seeing your sea miles, I would say that you are a great sailor, far more experienced than most of us and for me that would be part of the overall attraction.
Happy sails,
Fred

[MaryBeth]

Well, thanks Fred.

[sailor582002]

You''re welcome MaryBeth. Next time I sail through Little River I''ll let ya know, maybe if you''re in town we can go have a brew and swap stories.
Fred

[aasault]

Fred, you''re my hero! That might have been the greatest Sailnet pickup paragraph ever written!

The finer points;

1. You successfully defended a basic male instinct.

2. You wove a wonderful tapestry of your intimate understanding of human nature, and how you''re above first impressions. Always real big with the ladies.

3. You don''t tender a date invitation until after her response. Perfect timing.

4. You reduced Marybeth, a well traveled, highly experienced sailor, to "Well, thanks Fred". I thought I heard her giggle!

I have only one criticism. Next time delete "I''ve never seen a homely woman". I don''t think Marybeth bought that one, but the rest is so good, she probably overlooked it.

[FTHOMSON]

MaryBeth...

On appearences: If the skipper in question is really that shallow a person then I guess (to him [it could be a her]) it matters. To most people, it doesn''t.

Fred T.

[paulmcquillan]

Ok, I can''t resist.

If the skipper in question is really that shallow, then he''s probably runs aground often. <grin>

[MaryBeth]

I haven''t been here in a while, but, hey...

"Well, thanks, Fred." was written with a serious amount of, shall I say, sarcasm. No giggling, believe me. I wrote it with the same enthusiasm with which I would pass on the office phone number of one of my veterinarian or doctor friends as my own home phone number to someone who was pestering me in a local bar.

Skippers are sometimes really that shallow, and it has nothing to do with going aground.

MaryBeth

[mary jewell]

In a perfect world looks wouldn''t count......and I must admit I do my share of man-bashing of the chauvinistic,good looks oriented fellows, but I''ll tell ya straight out, I would much rather have an Adonis, tall, tanned and muscular, shoulder length hair, gleeming smile,glancing up to me from the galley, than some ugly ass. Guess I am as bad as some of the fellows.

[thistle3437]

as a "homely" male, i can say that what counts to me is the ability to winch, hike out, and not get squeemish at some of the things that go with boating. if anything, the more glittery the gal, the less apt i am to take here sailing!

jp