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post #41 of 48 Old 06-16-2008
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post #42 of 48 Old 06-16-2008 Thread Starter
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Hey, I know that girl

John
Ontario 32 - Aria

Free, is the heart, that lives not, in fear.
Full, is the spirit, that thinks not, of falling.
True, is the soul, that hesitates not, to give.
Alive, is the one, that believes, in love.
JCP


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post #43 of 48 Old 06-16-2008
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OK John - here is my .02 worth. First we met in Annapolis, while I don't know you well, at least I know of you.
I am a little confused here so I will ask a question. Do you have a problem here working for a woman? Or is it that you have a problem working for a woman that you have an interest in? I think it is the latter from the post but I have to ask the first question base on your original post.
If the answer to the first question is,"Yes I do", than move on. You cannot change horses in the middle of the stream. If the answer is "NO", than it is strictly business. Business is business. She hires you at X rate per hour, you perform the work, than she pays you. Very simple. Document all your work and bill her.
Now for the second question. Still do the work as explain above, and play the relationship as you would any other. Either it works or doesn't. Keep them both separate in the beginning of the relationship. Remember every relationship has at least two phases. The first phase being the infatuation phase. For you boys, it is like having a new toy. Everything is great in the beginning until you start to see flaws. This usually takes anywhere from 1-3 months. This is the phase for which I think that both sides might take advantage of in this situation in order to appease the other. Just be careful here. The bottom line here, is communication. Always talk about your concerns between work and a relationship. Keep the slate clean and above water. Both will appreciate it. It will clear the air and everyone knows where the other person stand at ALL TIMES. If a thought comes into your head or hers about the situation, than communicate that. In other words, it is like reefing. If you think about it, than do it.
Remember one cannot move forward unless one steps forward.
Hope this helps

Melissa Renee
Moondance
Catalina 445, Hull #90
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post #44 of 48 Old 06-16-2008 Thread Starter
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No Mel, I have no problem with working for women. I was merely put in a position I had never encountered before, and wanted to make clear in my own mind, that I wasn't taking advantage of the situation, at the expense of the other person. Basically, I saw it as an ethical question, rather than a relationship question.

John
Ontario 32 - Aria

Free, is the heart, that lives not, in fear.
Full, is the spirit, that thinks not, of falling.
True, is the soul, that hesitates not, to give.
Alive, is the one, that believes, in love.
JCP


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post #45 of 48 Old 06-16-2008
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Well,,,,,,,

About july 01 I met a women thru my landscape biz.........did work......

She hired me the following yr to do more work......noticed I was a big different.......got to talking, explained in the middle of nasty divorce.....are there unnasty divorces?!?!?!?!.......any way.... after finishing job, started dating a bit.........then my brain went haywire while trying to finish divorce etc.....broke up..........

Kept in some contact, got hired to do third project........a bit later got back to gether after divorce was finalized............Feb 06 got married.........

Ok, so not sure how that helps or hinders the answer, but that is from this end.......oh by the way, first wife, met the same way! ack!! that lasted 17 yrs untill I was sick of the physical and verbal abuse she thru at family, myself, kids etc......... so any way..............

I'll let you figure this one out. Ladies can chastise me if they want, men can too, in the end.....not sure that there is really a right or wrong!

Marty

She drives me boat,
I drives me dinghy!
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post #46 of 48 Old 06-29-2008
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I don't think there is a right or wrong either. I'm a single hander female single in all ways) and am still getting up to speed on learning how to maintain/fix the boats systems). Every now and then I get discouraged that there is no 'man in my life' that could help. If I met you, and there was some electricity and we talked about it. Ended up saying to each other, well, let's just sail together, keep it platonic, I'll help you maintain the boat (is this your definition of handy man?) and let's see how it goes...

If this is close to your scenario and you are asking the questions you ask - and assuming I am not too presumptuous - I'm guessing that your query is more about you wondering if you can do this knowing that it is not your boat and it might appear that you are somehow less?

IMHO you have nothing to loose and everything to gain, great cruising, great company, maybe an opportunity to fall in love - or not.
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post #47 of 48 Old 06-29-2008 Thread Starter
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No yawler, I have a boat. The lady in question had things around her home she needed done. As I said above, I was more concerned about the right or wrong of the situation, in a moral sense.

John
Ontario 32 - Aria

Free, is the heart, that lives not, in fear.
Full, is the spirit, that thinks not, of falling.
True, is the soul, that hesitates not, to give.
Alive, is the one, that believes, in love.
JCP


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post #48 of 48 Old 06-29-2008
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ah, sorry. In that case, no. Platonic friend, to me, means no more than if you happen to be at my house and I say, "hey, can you help me move this dinghy from my driveway to the horses in the back yard". 10 minutes later, done. I'd ask any woman this as well.

If it's , hey, 'can you rebuild my deck for me'....a good friend would never impose that much.

Now, if you do this for a living anyway and she is offering to pay you your rates or you offer to do it for less...

Whatever, having said all this, if your in my hood, I could sure use a hand with my dink in the driveway!
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