SailNet Community

SailNet Community (
-   herSailNet (
-   -   Dream or Nightmare? (

ystanley 02-17-2009 08:29 AM

Dream or Nightmare?
My husband and I bought a Catalina 30 recently after he fell in love with sailing. We had a 26' day sailer that we sold to purchase this and I have to admit I like the Catalina much better. We have been talking about living aboard and cruising up and down the east coast for a few years. He is completly enthrawled by this and I am a little aprehensive. We have been together 20 years and throughout that time we have always been raising children. (I had a 2 yr old when we met) We have always said when the kids were grown it would be "our time". Our children are now 22, 18 and 16 and we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We just purchased a home in 2005 and are living the American Dream. We work ourselves to death to pay the mortage and the car payments (equal in $amount). We both work full time and are so tied to the material things in life it isn't funny, but I still struggle with leaving all this behind. I have always thought I would end up with a large family, kids and grandkids coming over for large family gatherings, yatta, yatta. Well, somehow things didn't turn out the way I had always thought they would. My son (22) only calls when he needs something from us and our daughters have no interest in staying in the town we are in after college. They will go where their careers and families take them. Without rambling on and on which I have already done. I am wondering if there is anyone else out there that has worked out these same worries and actually did it!!!! I have read some of the posts that my husband has directed me to and see that people actually do do this. Any tips on how to give up the material things in life??????

tommays 02-17-2009 09:06 AM

Well with a 21 and 24 year old i can feel your pain ;)

My longest vacation was 3 weeks on a Motorcycle

My longest Sailboat vacation has been about 9 days ,It involved sailing to a raceweek ,racing and then sailing home

To be honest trips like this along with sailing a few times a week meets my personal needs for free time

rayncyn51 02-17-2009 09:34 AM

So, are you happy working yourselves to death to pay for stuff? That sounds like the bigger question.

We are in the transition from the life on land that we have known since the beginning, to a cruising life. Like you, Atlantic coast on a Catalina 30. Also, like you, the kids are grown and all over the country. When we started researching the idea, it surprized us how many people have already done it. Our plan is to take two years to ready the boat and build our skills. That gives us some time to let the whole idea sink in, and to get used to living without 'stuff'. We have already gotten an older car with no payment, and moved to a very nice older neighborhood where the houses are dirt cheap. Every month, more stuff goes to charity or trash, more money goes into our cruising kitty, and our resolve to persue our dream becomes stronger.

In the end, we must do that which brings us joy.

ystanley 02-17-2009 08:00 PM


Originally Posted by rayncyn51 (Post 449541)
So, are you happy working yourselves to death to pay for stuff? That sounds like the bigger question.

In the end, we must do that which brings us joy.

How true!!!!! Glad to see we are not the only ones thinking about this. I think our time frame would have to be about 5-6 years. I think that gives us plenty of time to learn how to survive without "Stuff".

Maybe we'll see you out there!

Melrna 02-20-2009 10:15 AM

To get rid of the material world now try this... When going out to buy things say to yourself, can I put this item on the boat? If the answer is "NO" don't buy it! Also, start paring down what you own in the house. Whether you cut the lines completely by selling the house and everything in it or storing your worldly possessions and renting out your house keep your thoughts to that plan. This will help getting ready to cruise.

danjarch 02-20-2009 11:26 AM

This may be too much information but all that stuff you fear letting go of is the same stuff that is probably keeping you from your other day dream of a large family. A couple of years of cruising will teach how much of a burden and a distraction all the junk really is. I'm not just talking about the material stuff, the same can be said for a lot of mental junk that gets in the way of life as well.

After learning to sit and enjoy simple things, day after day. Learning how to make a conversation about the weather last three days. You'll start to find that it's really fun to be free, to be able to just enjoy whats around you and who is around you without needing this bit of stuff or them sharing this thought about that. Once you've let go of all the things that are eating up your life, you'll find you have plenty of time to go hang out with your kids. You won't feel like your missing something from home the whole time. You won't feel the need to push your ideas on them and will just enjoy being there.

And this really does take years. Right now it's hard to even think past having 20 different knifes in your kitchen or 14 different dresses that are pretty much the same. Again, right now thinking that someone will see you wearing the same dress 2 times this week probably bothers you. Going more then two days without a shower even though it's not hot and you wash your hands and face regularly would send shivers down your spine. But these are all mental constructs rather then real issues.

You can cook a lot better meals when instead of 20 knifes, you have half a day to wander through the local farmers market picking the nicest fruit and veggies. What's the point of buying yet another dress if it means throwing out one you really like because you don't have any more room. On the shower thing, it won't take long before you know the difference between needing a shower, just needing to freshen up, and ain't no point because I'm going to be covered in salt again, in twenty minutes anyway, besides we aren't going any where with it this stormy.

Not to paint a scary picture, I really enjoyed my time outside of normalacy, and continue to benefit from the lessons learned. It takes a while but after you settle in your going to meet some of the best people you'll ever know, learn to be happy with a lot less, and quit being scared over trivial things.

xort 02-20-2009 11:35 AM

We're going through all this in slow motion. House hasn't sold (wonder why) yet so we haven't reached the 'final fronteer'. we've been getting rid of stuff for 2 years now and it hardly seems we've made a dent in it all. At some point soon we will get into the fast and furious phase of emptying the house when it does sell. Pressing on, slowly but surely.

deniseO30 02-20-2009 11:43 AM

My guess is, if you have to ask how to give up material things your not ready? Cat 30 is a really nice boat. tons of space! I don't know about it as a live aboard though. There are 5 Cat 30s in my YC and according those owners they are the best boat ever built! (yawn) good luck!

imagine2frolic 02-20-2009 11:46 AM

Do you own the STUFF, or does the STUFF own you? Freedom is not free. There will be sacrifices, and serious changes in your life. You will find living in warm climates your need for a large wardrobe will be silly. You will find yourself one day looking around, and asking yourself. WHAT TOOK SO LONG!

My 30ft. Columbia is not as big as the Catalina, but I lived alone on the boat for years. For 2 it may get crowded, but you can use the Catalina as an experiment, and move up a few feet. 6-8 feet makes a huge difference in room. After all life is kind of an experiment anyway.....isn't it?......i2f

Keldee 02-20-2009 05:18 PM

It doesn't matter what boat you have as long as it is safe for what you want to do.
Find that out first,no good spending years on a blue water boat and spending a fortune on god knows what if all you want to do is the east coast and or the Bahamas.It is possible to do that on day trips no need to be ocean sailors.
My husband and I (sounds very royal huh!)both started sailing in 1999(never been on a sailboat before)We both have children from other marriages.In 1999 we sold our house gave up our jobs(both then mid 50's) invested the money from house and set off down the ICW from Lake Erie spent the winter in the Keys then back to the lakes then in the fall back down again to the Bahamas.We did this with never an overnight sail.Had 1 tropical storm 1 hurricane and had the time of our lives and did it in a 1962 Tartan 27.
I say dont prevaricate if you want to go go simple and go NOW! The longer you leave it and wait for everything to be "perfect" the less likely you are to set off.
My 2penny worth.

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:45 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging v3.1.0 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
(c) LLC 2000-2012

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome