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Old 08-06-2009
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badsanta is on a distinguished road
Originally Posted by OhioTom View Post

She's been talking about a vacation in Maine. I'm not sure if I have the time this Summer, but I will next year. She's never been there and I'm not sure what got her interested in it, but that would seem like a great opportunity to peak her interest. I was thinking Boothbay Harbor windjammer days. I'll have to be careful, though, as she might want to move.
Send her to the Wooden Boat School in Brooklin Maine and take a sailing class, great people fantastic views. I cant wait to go back. I did the diesel class and coastal navigation. Lots of stuff to do.
That derelict boat was another dream for somebody else, don't let it be your nightmare and a waste of your life.
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Old 08-06-2009
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Stillraining is a jewel in the rough Stillraining is a jewel in the rough Stillraining is a jewel in the rough

How about a week charter in that paradise she is yearning for to set the hook deep...

It will also give her confidance knowing a professional skipper ( not that you are not ) is in control of the whole boat handeling/navigation thing the first go around as well.....I would have had to do that if I would not have started mine out slowly power boating. Its still to early to tell if she will ever cross an ocean.

Something like this ought to do it.
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Old 08-08-2009
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My wife's pet hate in camping on a boat is no shower, so I bought a toilet tent and portable shower takes 10 mins to set up on deck and she will now sail over night.

You must find out her dislikes help her elevate her problems.
I like the idea of sending her to sail school mines like HerbDB`s sits back and relaxes.
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Old 08-10-2009
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I was very afraid of heeling, to the point where I was uncomfortable. My poor husband could not even use the head since I was afraid to get behind the helm.

I took the ASA 101 course on basic keelboat this summer. Now I am always behind the helm. My instructor taught me more in 3 days then my husband in 2 years. He knew my fear of heeling, and got me to single hand the boat in 25 knots of wind for 5 hours. Amazing what you can do when you reef (something my husband didn't understand).

Have your wife take a course. It is the best thing.
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Old 08-29-2009
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One thing I do that really turns off my wife and kids (older teens) is that I often have little projects to do on the boat, like attach this or re-rig that - you know, little things I think of during the week that I put on my list of chores when I get to the slip, an hour and fifteen minutes away. For me, this is part of the fun of owning and understanding a sailboat - the constant tinkering and upgrading.

But my wife really dislikes sitting in the clubhouse waiting for me - she has to chat with strangers (I love to chat), sit there with nothing to do, feels like she's wasting time, etc., even if it's for 15 minutes. And as we KNOW from being guys who like to TINKER with our TOYS, a 15 minute chore often can suddenly become an hour.

So I've learned to do a few different things:

1) forego a lot of little things that I would like to do and just skip them
2) talk to my wife and/or kids beforehand and ask permission to take 15 or 20 minutes to do a few things before we sail, WELL BEFORE WE ARRIVE
3) make sure it only stays to that amount of time
4) find a way to get up there some other time to do these things

It's frustrating to me because hanging out at the club and tinkering with the boat, and chatting with folks as they walk by and comment on the work is all part of why I've moved my trailerable to a slip and club. But it's not for my family. And if I want to engage my family I need to put their needs foremost. If don't do this I run the risk of becoming yet another middle-aged guy having a few too many beers on his boat after a solo saturday sail.

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Old 09-01-2009
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When she gets to that 'nesting stage' (and she will, a boat is more fun than a doll house ; -) encourage her. Do not quibble about how her cool stuff isn't what you had in mind. Don't tell her how impractical half her ideas are, she will figure it out. That's half the fun!

And I affirm that paying attention to her punch list of comforts is critical. While I never claim to be low maintenance, I figger I am one of the hardier women around. I don't cavil at doing the *yucky* stuff. But wanting a shower was my big issue. And Himself kept pointing out how impractical it would be and how little we would actually use it and how much bother it would be to use when we did. Until he figured out it isn't so much TAKING the showers... it's wanting to know that after I do the *yucky* stuff I CAN if I want to... and he has put a shower, highly impractical and unnecessary, into the plan. Likewise a real head, not a portapottie, and it means a lot to me!

SO glad to hear she is getting interested... and it sounds like you are doing all the right stuff already and she is just coming to it in her own time. Have a wonderful time making it wonderful for your whole family!

ain't what ya do, it's the way that ya do it...
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Old 12-28-2009
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We've been doing some checking on those courses. It appears that most of the ASA schools require you to have completed the level 1&2 course before venturing into the more advanced and overnight classes. The 1 -2 course con frequently be combined. These teach basic sailing skills on small boats where there is less possibility of danger, power, injury. (cost of a mistake is a good dunking)

I agree with Mimsy. You will enjoy sailing together if you are not on pins and needles worrying about what she is thinking or about what mistake she might make. Much better to know you can rely on her to bail your but out when you need it. Otherwise, you are worse than single handed.

Women Sail offers classes in regularly scheduled cool vacation places and also will arrange to do a class on your own boat including mixed crew. Also, check the yacht clubs in your area. You may be able to find classes, find an instructor, arrange your own class program.
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Old 01-22-2010
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I've sailed since i was small, and introduces my husband to it who loves it. I belong to a Yacht club in north Wales in the UK and I am always surprised how many wives/girlfriends don’t sail because their other half has frightened them half to death. Be sneaky and take her out for sails on beautiful days and don’t talk about when it all went horrible wrong and had an awful sail. Keep everything low key and make sure her opinion is matters, There is nothing worse than in my case wanting to go to Scotland and having to go to Southern Ireland again because that’s is where he wants to go.

Get her involved with the deck work. Show her how to start and stop the engine and how to steer the boat. Don’t do everything yourself, take the time to show her. Also, many woman, find that they just end up doing the chores they do at home in worse conditions, while the kids have fun in some cases, couples who have sailed for years find that the wife's skills are hardly up to scratch as the kids have done all the crewing work on the boat and wifey is in the galley again.

And it’s hardly a holiday if you spend Breakfast noon and dinner in the galley cooking for 4 on little more that camping stove. Have bbq ashore, meals out. Trips off the boat. Allow her time to herself there is pressure privacy on a boat. Even without kids. There is a difference between sailing and cruising.

Read any of the book by Lyn Pardey, they are all good and give opinion from a woman’s point of view.
Above all else have fun doing it and good luck and it’s raining in the west midland in the uk.
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Old 01-22-2010
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Build a set of stairs (at a minimum) and a "dock" adjacent to the boat in your backyard. Not only will that make it easier for your wife to get up on the boat if she is afraid of ladders, it will make a lot easier for you as you work on the boat.

Here are some pictures to give you an idea of what I'm talking about:

Peterson 34 GREYHAWK, West Boothbay Harbor, Maine

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Old 01-22-2010
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Seems like everyone missed the most important thing. Your wife loves to fish! Add a couple of rod holders to the back of the boat. Sailboats are the ultimate trolling machine! She'll be next to the steering and learning to handle the sails to slow the boat down when you catch a fish is a great step towards many of the things that need to be done when underway. (Dude, your "in" is the fishing thing, take advantage of it!)
Cruise me!
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