Just had a "break-through" with wife - Page 3 - SailNet Community
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post #21 of 80 Old 01-22-2010
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my wife was a total landlubber. I made very very sure that her first experience with boating was very very good. That meant chartering a 41 ft. boat so she had plenty of room. That meant putting her every favorite food and drink on board. That meant making damn sure that there was excellent shopping at several stops and that she had plenty of money in her pocket when she got off the boat. That meant telling her repeatedly how good she looked in boating clothes (that was very true and she knew it so no prob there)

You get the idea. First impressions matter a lot. Go all out to make it perfect. Since then she has been bugging me to go to the Caribbean so we bought a boat and are doing the Caribbean 1500 next fall. The promise of palm trees in January is what really sold her.
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post #22 of 80 Old 01-23-2010
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I agree with sailing lessons from someone other than you. A woman's course seems to work well. Next plan you outings so that you don't terrorize you wife. Pick good weather and a modest schedule so you arn't pressured to get back in questioable weather/conditions. Consider a charter in the Bahamas or other area you've got you eye on. Sharing a boat between couples can be affordable. Three or four couples on a catamaran can have great privacy.
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post #23 of 80 Old 01-23-2010
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Have to agree with sck5 on this one, lure her in with honey!

What are you pretending not to know ?

Please support my
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post #24 of 80 Old 03-06-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Waltthesalt View Post
I agree with sailing lessons from someone other than you. Next plan you outings so that you don't terrorize you wife. Pick good weather and a modest schedule so you arn't pressured to get back in questioable weather/conditions.
This is where I am screwing up. What I think is normal to quiet conditions are almost frightening for my girl.

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Bellingham, WA

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post #25 of 80 Old 03-06-2010
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There is a lot of good advice here. The one about having her take a sailing instruction course BY HERSELF is a good one. Another thing to do is to go out sailing on a nice day and have her be the captain... not like this is any surprise...but let her run the boat...with you as a deck monkey.

If you want to go cruising, I'd suggest you both buy and read Debra Ann Cantrell's book, Changing Course.

If she likes to fish... rigging a couple of rod holders off the stern might not be a bad idea...

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You know what the first rule of sailing is? ...Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take
a boat to the sea you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of the worlds. Love keeps
her going when she oughta fall down, tells you she's hurting 'fore she keens. Makes her a home.

—Cpt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity (edited)

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post #26 of 80 Old 04-04-2010
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NO NO NO. Women that aren't into boating and are afraid of the water will never do. They will never be completely comfortable on the boat.
Trade her in! Find a woman that likes boats, sailing and will take the helm in 25 knots the first time you go out. And when she tells everyone about the day and they say REALLY? THAT WINDY? she'll go "yeah, he's pretty good!"

Cause see, if they really like boats/sailing, they'll also love all the benefits of having a spacious (sorta) aft cabin when you take them overnight to a quiet little cove. And THAT makes the sailing all the more the better if you catch my drift!

Hell next you'll be saying she isn't really all that into um, "human intertwining"...


To those posters that have had bad experiences w/ their S.O. trying to "teach" them... I'm not sure I have the answer. GF has been a very willing learner and the EX just wouldn't have any of it. Think it has more to do w/ them and their attitudes then anything.


PS I never yell or do anything w/o first briefing on what is going to happen or needs to happen.
And only work on one or two things at a time. We spent 20-30 min. one day just letting her take the boat out and back in to the slip while I handled the lines.
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post #27 of 80 Old 04-04-2010
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Reclaiming HerSailNet

Is there a way to remove this---inho---midly misogonist thread to the general interest forum? Please?
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post #28 of 80 Old 04-04-2010
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There is, no doubt. But this thread is about helping a woman learn to love sailing. Here seems like a fine place for it. It is all about HerSailing isn't it?

And there has been a great deal of really constructive helpful advice from folks who have been there and figgured out how to get thru the blockade of fears and hesitations.

I am just really grateful that Himself, while inexperienced is game and really wants to learn. And as a note the comment about taking on too much at once is really true... I scared him to death one day by letting a wraps off more than he was comfortable with and scaring the brass ones offa him... the good news is he has since found them again and is progressing nicely. Which just goes to show that while it is most often a man trying to figure out how to get his lady comfortable, it isn't always!

sara

ain't what ya do, it's the way that ya do it...
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post #29 of 80 Old 04-04-2010
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We were agonizing about where to retire. Places we liked were too expensive or un-insurable or both. (Hurricane zones) My cousin was world sailing at the time. Lynn suggested we do what he was doing and find a boat. I always do what she tells me to. Four years later we have the Camper & Nicholson, our 100 ton credentials and are getting close to launching after a lot of re-fitting and hurricane repairs. Turns out whe is pretty good with a paint scraper and a wrench.
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post #30 of 80 Old 04-05-2010
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Right on Tom

You are on track. You definitely don't want to put your boat before your wife. That is a shortcut to sailing alone or not at all.
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