Just had a "break-through" with wife - Page 3 - SailNet Community

   Search Sailnet:

 forums  store  


Quick Menu
Forums           
Articles          
Galleries        
Boat Reviews  
Classifieds     
Search SailNet 
Boat Search (new)

Shop the
SailNet Store
Anchor Locker
Boatbuilding & Repair
Charts
Clothing
Electrical
Electronics
Engine
Hatches and Portlights
Interior And Galley
Maintenance
Marine Electronics
Navigation
Other Items
Plumbing and Pumps
Rigging
Safety
Sailing Hardware
Trailer & Watersports
Clearance Items

Advertise Here






Go Back   SailNet Community > Out There > herSailNet
 Not a Member? 


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #21  
Old 01-22-2010
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 2,244
Thanks: 1
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Rep Power: 8
sck5 is on a distinguished road
my wife was a total landlubber. I made very very sure that her first experience with boating was very very good. That meant chartering a 41 ft. boat so she had plenty of room. That meant putting her every favorite food and drink on board. That meant making damn sure that there was excellent shopping at several stops and that she had plenty of money in her pocket when she got off the boat. That meant telling her repeatedly how good she looked in boating clothes (that was very true and she knew it so no prob there)

You get the idea. First impressions matter a lot. Go all out to make it perfect. Since then she has been bugging me to go to the Caribbean so we bought a boat and are doing the Caribbean 1500 next fall. The promise of palm trees in January is what really sold her.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #22  
Old 01-23-2010
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Kingston Washington
Posts: 506
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Rep Power: 5
Waltthesalt is on a distinguished road
I agree with sailing lessons from someone other than you. A woman's course seems to work well. Next plan you outings so that you don't terrorize you wife. Pick good weather and a modest schedule so you arn't pressured to get back in questioable weather/conditions. Consider a charter in the Bahamas or other area you've got you eye on. Sharing a boat between couples can be affordable. Three or four couples on a catamaran can have great privacy.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #23  
Old 01-23-2010
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,998
Thanks: 5
Thanked 18 Times in 18 Posts
Rep Power: 11
wind_magic has a spectacular aura about wind_magic has a spectacular aura about wind_magic has a spectacular aura about
Have to agree with sck5 on this one, lure her in with honey!
__________________
What are you pretending not to know ?

Please support my
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #24  
Old 03-06-2010
tip's Avatar
tip tip is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 75
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 5
tip is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by Waltthesalt View Post
I agree with sailing lessons from someone other than you. Next plan you outings so that you don't terrorize you wife. Pick good weather and a modest schedule so you arn't pressured to get back in questioable weather/conditions.
This is where I am screwing up. What I think is normal to quiet conditions are almost frightening for my girl.
__________________
-tip

Bellingham, WA

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #25  
Old 03-06-2010
sailingdog's Avatar
Telstar 28
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 43,291
Thanks: 0
Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts
Rep Power: 13
sailingdog is just really nice sailingdog is just really nice sailingdog is just really nice sailingdog is just really nice sailingdog is just really nice
There is a lot of good advice here. The one about having her take a sailing instruction course BY HERSELF is a good one. Another thing to do is to go out sailing on a nice day and have her be the captain... not like this is any surprise...but let her run the boat...with you as a deck monkey.

If you want to go cruising, I'd suggest you both buy and read Debra Ann Cantrell's book, Changing Course.

If she likes to fish... rigging a couple of rod holders off the stern might not be a bad idea...
__________________
Sailingdog

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Telstar 28
New England

You know what the first rule of sailing is? ...Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take
a boat to the sea you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of the worlds. Love keeps
her going when she oughta fall down, tells you she's hurting 'fore she keens. Makes her a home.

—Cpt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity (edited)

If you're new to the Sailnet Forums... please read this
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.

Still—DON'T READ THAT POST AGAIN.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #26  
Old 04-04-2010
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 563
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Rep Power: 14
sailordave is on a distinguished road
NO NO NO. Women that aren't into boating and are afraid of the water will never do. They will never be completely comfortable on the boat.
Trade her in! Find a woman that likes boats, sailing and will take the helm in 25 knots the first time you go out. And when she tells everyone about the day and they say REALLY? THAT WINDY? she'll go "yeah, he's pretty good!"

Cause see, if they really like boats/sailing, they'll also love all the benefits of having a spacious (sorta) aft cabin when you take them overnight to a quiet little cove. And THAT makes the sailing all the more the better if you catch my drift!

Hell next you'll be saying she isn't really all that into um, "human intertwining"...


To those posters that have had bad experiences w/ their S.O. trying to "teach" them... I'm not sure I have the answer. GF has been a very willing learner and the EX just wouldn't have any of it. Think it has more to do w/ them and their attitudes then anything.


PS I never yell or do anything w/o first briefing on what is going to happen or needs to happen.
And only work on one or two things at a time. We spent 20-30 min. one day just letting her take the boat out and back in to the slip while I handled the lines.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #27  
Old 04-04-2010
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 41
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
Dulcitea is on a distinguished road
Reclaiming HerSailNet

Is there a way to remove this---inho---midly misogonist thread to the general interest forum? Please?
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #28  
Old 04-04-2010
sarafinadh's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 210
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 6
sarafinadh is on a distinguished road
There is, no doubt. But this thread is about helping a woman learn to love sailing. Here seems like a fine place for it. It is all about HerSailing isn't it?

And there has been a great deal of really constructive helpful advice from folks who have been there and figgured out how to get thru the blockade of fears and hesitations.

I am just really grateful that Himself, while inexperienced is game and really wants to learn. And as a note the comment about taking on too much at once is really true... I scared him to death one day by letting a wraps off more than he was comfortable with and scaring the brass ones offa him... the good news is he has since found them again and is progressing nicely. Which just goes to show that while it is most often a man trying to figure out how to get his lady comfortable, it isn't always!
__________________
sara

ain't what ya do, it's the way that ya do it...
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #29  
Old 04-04-2010
NICHOLSON58's Avatar
Mark on Camper 58
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Grand Rapids Michigan
Posts: 195
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Rep Power: 6
NICHOLSON58 is on a distinguished road
We were agonizing about where to retire. Places we liked were too expensive or un-insurable or both. (Hurricane zones) My cousin was world sailing at the time. Lynn suggested we do what he was doing and find a boat. I always do what she tells me to. Four years later we have the Camper & Nicholson, our 100 ton credentials and are getting close to launching after a lot of re-fitting and hurricane repairs. Turns out whe is pretty good with a paint scraper and a wrench.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #30  
Old 04-05-2010
Nick O'Kelly
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Sausalito, CA
Posts: 18
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
nickokelly is on a distinguished road
Right on Tom

You are on track. You definitely don't want to put your boat before your wife. That is a shortcut to sailing alone or not at all.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

 
Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may post attachments
You may edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Perfect wife..mine is...seriously Giulietta General Discussion (sailing related) 43 12-09-2008 02:43 AM
Will my wife and I be sad or happy with a Nauticat 33 or 38 or similar type? tartangreek Boat Review and Purchase Forum 41 11-18-2007 05:58 AM
First Boat Strategy - reluctant wife HELP??? hazmat17 Boat Review and Purchase Forum 17 10-02-2007 10:25 PM
US deports wife abuser back to Canada - Canada.com NewsReader News Feeds 0 09-29-2006 10:15 AM
US tries to deport man who beat, imprisoned wife on boat for years - Ottawa Citizen NewsReader News Feeds 0 08-26-2006 04:15 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:48 PM.

Add to My Yahoo!         
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.1
(c) Marine.com LLC 2000-2012

The SailNet.com store is owned and operated by a company independent of the SailNet.com forum. You are now leaving the SailNet forum. Click OK to continue or Cancel to return to the SailNet forum.