Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Sausalito, CA
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First of all, we men can get so excited by the prospect of living out The Dream that we move too quickly. If our spouse doesn't appear to be keeping pace with our arbitrary expectations, we get frustrated. We'll then either compensate by trying to make her "comfortable" as a passenger, or unintentionally make her feel bad about not living up to our standards, or both.
Secondly, in our effort to be "captainly" we can come off as controlling. Captains are leaders, and leaders don't control, they inspire. No one wants to feel controlled; it's a basic tenant of happiness!
I love the "color-coordinated" pullman berth story. Sounds like something I might try-and fail miserably at. But you did notice, and that is the point.
At the end of the day, a good relationship on board is about the same things that it is on land: sharing values and respecting each others' values when they differ.