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post #11 of 59 Old 11-13-2010
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reading this I can't help but bring up this from awhile back.
Tips needed as a Young Woman Sailing!

it kinda gives proof that there are young gullible girls out there! That should make some guys happy.

Denise, Bristol PA, Oday 30. On Tidal Delaware River, Anchor Yacht Club.
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My last project!
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My boat is sold!
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post #12 of 59 Old 11-13-2010
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Inland, you could try this:" I am a cougar- i have my pick of a gaggle of testosterone -filled single 20-something boys, and you think that you, a married guy with a viagra prescription, are even in the running? You're embarassing both of us."
Or: "Dude I look like crap, I'm crabby and you're my married crew who just blew three tacks in a row- either you think my self-esteem sucks so bad that i think you are a catch, or your self esteem is so crappy that i am all you can get. either way you just insulted me."

or there is always the simple " get the f**k away before i talk to your wife."

Or you could simply take it as the compliment that it is, and blow it off.
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post #13 of 59 Old 11-13-2010
me at 67!
 
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IG, It's real difficult, but you can find other women that would want to sail with you.

Denise, Bristol PA, Oday 30. On Tidal Delaware River, Anchor Yacht Club.
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post #14 of 59 Old 11-14-2010
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...

Or you could simply take it as the compliment that it is, and blow it off.
The first couple of times, I did this. Then paranoia set in: it is me? am I sending the wrong signals? do I have some kind of a reputation? I really don't think so. It's only that I'm single, and that apparently makes me fair game when not on shore.
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or there is always the simple " get the f**k away before i talk to your wife."
This is now the default. What really gets me is that I thought I had a nice, comfortable camaraderie with these guys, some of whom I've known for a couple of years since I first bought my boat and joined this club. But no: it turns out I have to be on my guard all the time and I can't have a normal, non-paranoid conversation with any of them anymore. I have to limit my trips to the club to times when I know there will be lots of other people around. It's all so tiresome. Maybe it's just that I have the bad luck to live in the Land of Creeps and Jerks? Or are sailors like this all over?

As of today, my sailing season's over: I don't have to deal with this cr*p again until next spring, so I'll shut up now. Sorry again for the hijack. It's really important for women to be cautious about sailing with people they don't know yet, but I also hope some of the guys who read this -- especially if they're married or otherwise taken -- will think twice about how they behave themselves on board with the women they already know.
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post #15 of 59 Old 11-14-2010
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I don't make passes at female crew. My ego can only handle disappointing one woman at a time.
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post #16 of 59 Old 11-14-2010
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I don't make passes at female crew. My ego can only handle disappointing one woman at a time.
+1 You and me both.

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post #17 of 59 Old 11-14-2010
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Ig

"Or are sailors like this all over? "
Usually it's just the male ones
But there are exceptions I hear.

Perhaps it's more of a YC "party atmosphere" thing than a sailing thing?

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The first couple of times, I did this. Then paranoia set in: it is me? am I sending the wrong signals? do I have some kind of a reputation? I really don't think so. It's only that I'm single, and that apparently makes me fair game when not on shore.

This is now the default. What really gets me is that I thought I had a nice, comfortable camaraderie with these guys, some of whom I've known for a couple of years since I first bought my boat and joined this club. But no: it turns out I have to be on my guard all the time and I can't have a normal, non-paranoid conversation with any of them anymore. I have to limit my trips to the club to times when I know there will be lots of other people around. It's all so tiresome. Maybe it's just that I have the bad luck to live in the Land of Creeps and Jerks? Or are sailors like this all over?

As of today, my sailing season's over: I don't have to deal with this cr*p again until next spring, so I'll shut up now. Sorry again for the hijack. It's really important for women to be cautious about sailing with people they don't know yet, but I also hope some of the guys who read this -- especially if they're married or otherwise taken -- will think twice about how they behave themselves on board with the women they already know.
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post #18 of 59 Old 11-15-2010
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Perhaps it's more of a YC "party atmosphere" thing than a sailing thing?
Oh, I'm all about the party -- but there's a big difference between joking around in public when everyone has a G&T in hand, and a married man making schmoopy eyes and inappropriate suggestions when he's crewing for me. Yuck.

A few solutions have come to mind: the unannounced jibe (oh, I've been tempted); finding women to sail with (not easy here, since the few who sail, sail with their SO); or limiting crew to single men, from whom the occasional schmoopy look might not be unwelcome (ok, so where are they?).

Sad-but-true moral of the story, I guess, is that guys on boats -- even sailboats -- behave badly; and a girl should be prepared to deal with it.
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post #19 of 59 Old 11-15-2010
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Thanks for painting all of us with the same, broad brush.

I'm glad my crew would disagree.

S/V Old Shoes
1973 Pearson 30 #255
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post #20 of 59 Old 11-15-2010
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The guy that hits on you (and is married or not) at the boat is the same guy that woul dhit on you at the office or a bar or anywhere else he thought he could get away with it. That marraige is over.

I would not say that sailing with men is your problem, I would say that sailing with THOSE men are your problem. But I will tell you right now that I have see women as guilty of this as men.

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