He takes the helm, how do really feel ladies? - SailNet Community
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post #1 of 28 Old 05-14-2010 Thread Starter
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He takes the helm, how do really feel ladies?

Ladies, how do you really feel? You finally get some time at the helm, feel like you have a handle on things, running a reach, tacking, etc...

Then he suddenly assumes whatever it is he's assuming and "takes the wheel" He just doesn't seem to consider that you may really not be quite ready to relinquish the wheel so quickly.

Lets hear it! The good the bad and the ugly!

Now on the flip side... you don't give up the helm.. does he pout? shout? act like he's lost because he has to man the winches?

(why does Denise come up with stuff like this?)

Denise, Bristol PA, Oday 30. On Tidal Delaware River, Anchor Yacht Club.
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post #2 of 28 Old 05-14-2010
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In the spirit of full disclosure, I haven't had the helm (wheel) for so long, I'm not sure I'd do anywhere near as well as she does.
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post #3 of 28 Old 05-14-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deniseO30 View Post
Ladies, how do you really feel? You finally get some time at the helm, feel like you have a handle on things, running a reach, tacking, etc...

Then he suddenly assumes whatever it is he's assuming and "takes the wheel" He just doesn't seem to consider that you may really not be quite ready to relinquish the wheel so quickly.

Lets hear it! The good the bad and the ugly!

Now on the flip side... you don't give up the helm.. does he pout? shout? act like he's lost because he has to man the winches?

(why does Denise come up with stuff like this?)
ter
I say, assert yourself! I wish my wife would take charge a bit more. I'd go lounge up front. BTW, she never mans the winches when I'm on watch, so I would be disinclined to.

But, sometimes I take the helm back because there is a tricky bit coming up, I know she is not quite ready for it, and if something goes wrong I would rather it was my fault.

With freedom comes responsibility; if you are going to fight to keep the helm, man or woman, don't ask for help you don't really need. Learn to manage good weather and bad, problems and easy sailing. I do not appreciate a fair weather helmsman, that only wants the comfortable times and then hides below from the rain or even a bad cross-sea.

(when asked how he reached the starting holds on a difficult rock climbing problem that clearly favored taller climbers - he was perhaps 5'5")

"Well, I just climb up to them."

by Joe Brown, English rock climber




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post #4 of 28 Old 05-14-2010
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after three boats, and limited helming by the wife...we took ASA courses together with the focus on her getting 100% capable, without me "teaching".

Turns out other than not "seeing" puffs, she is much better steering a straight course, compensating for wind shifts....and just all around doing a better job than I can, even though I have more seat time.

She still calls for me to do major winching and pulling, and often in close quarters. But she is having a ball and I know in the even that something happens, she can at least get the boat to and fro.

I am very happy with her helming...

Good post Denise
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post #5 of 28 Old 05-14-2010
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I love seeing my wife on the tiller. Of course, when she accidentally jibed in 25 knots while I was kneeling down into the lazarette and nearly broke my ribs with the mainsheet as it came across and slammed me into the tiller...she actually wanted to give it up.

What's a guy to do then?

I simply removed the rib from my lung, caught my breath, smiled and said, "sure sweetie".


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post #6 of 28 Old 05-14-2010 Thread Starter
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SD.. a lesser man would have yelled, lol bless you!

Denise, Bristol PA, Oday 30. On Tidal Delaware River, Anchor Yacht Club.
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post #7 of 28 Old 05-14-2010
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Honestly, I want her to love it as much as I do. What's a sucking chest wound between mates?


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post #8 of 28 Old 05-14-2010 Thread Starter
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well, hopefully some of the ladies will see this thread over the weekend.

Denise, Bristol PA, Oday 30. On Tidal Delaware River, Anchor Yacht Club.
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post #9 of 28 Old 05-15-2010
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Some years ago I was on a dock with a guy who liked to race his 26 footer. He needed crew one weekend, and I volunteered, never having raced before. He was about 6 foot and 240 lbs. His was wife was 4' 10" and 98 lbs! He steered, she ground the winches, barely. She was always offering helpful advice about how to steer, which he always ignored. We came in about 3rd from last, which he was happy about, because he'd never before finished other than dead last. Now if the idiot had let his wife steer, because she clearly had a better idea of what to do, and put his opulent ass over the rail where it belonged, we probably could have actually competed!

Gary H. Lucas
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post #10 of 28 Old 05-15-2010 Thread Starter
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Gary yes! and he could most likely handle the sheets without winches!

Pixie and Giant went for a sail; Giant said; "Pixie grind me a winch." "Which winch thou would hath me winch I shall, but if I may steer, fun we may have, does that appeal?" she said. Giant replied "Fee fye fo fum! I'm on bum on the helm! not a bum on drum!" (winch)

Denise, Bristol PA, Oday 30. On Tidal Delaware River, Anchor Yacht Club.
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