Why are the Ladies silent on Sailnet? - Page 7 - SailNet Community
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post #61 of 237 Old 01-08-2012
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One person's innuendo and smut is another person's inclusive and accepting banter.
Ialmca, if you don't like the status quo, change it. Get proactive. Start threads, offer input, give of yourself, ms. 6-posts-since-april, instead of finding reasons why not to contribute.

Hope to hear from you.
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post #62 of 237 Old 01-08-2012 Thread Starter
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I've met some of the guys.. most weren't dirty.. even smelled ok too! And it was a 98% humid day with temps nearly as high.

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post #63 of 237 Old 01-09-2012
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Originally Posted by almca View Post
Don't spend much time in hersailnet as too many of the discussions become mired in smut. What is risqué banter on the deck at the sailing club face to face, comes across as dirty old men online. I'd rather be cleaning seagull poo from my deck again than scrolling pages of innuendo to get to the good info buried in all the posts. What is fun over a beer at the bar, becomes tiresome when you are actually looking for real advice or experience. I live and sail in a family of 4 males, one a teenager so I can handle smutty humour.... But I'd rather give it a miss in a Her-centred forum. Waiting for the first to call me a wowser but you did ask why many of stayed quiet!
Wow, you sound like a pleasure to be around!

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post #64 of 237 Old 01-11-2012
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Don't spend much time in hersailnet as too many of the discussions become mired in smut. ...
Some mistake Sailnet for a dating website. She'll take all of 5 minutes to figure things out..
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post #65 of 237 Old 01-11-2012
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OTOH, I only learn when I'm listening. Anything I say, I already know.. ..

As for the first sentiment, it applies universally ("trans-gender"?); As for the second...too many already hold that opinion, whether deservedly or not (frequently, but not always, a predominately male characteristic?).

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post #66 of 237 Old 01-11-2012
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Less woman sailors?

I think the big reason for less woman posting is that there are simply less woman sailors. On race days at our Sailing Club the skippers are almost exclusively men, and the ratio of men to women as crew is around 5 to 1 on a good woman day. I skippered our boat in a well attended race, 100 ish boats and looked around me at the skippers meeting and did not notice one other woman! (Don't take this to mean I am a racer, I am not, we have a cruising boat but join in the races occasionally just for the fun of it) I find even in the sailing community it is usually the men who are interested in talking about boat bits, sails, lines, etc. not so many of the women are interested.
I personally don't understand why there are less woman than men who love sailing and talking about sailing but it sure seems that way. At the same time it doesn't really bother me because I have people to talk about boat bits and sailing with and it doesn't matter whats happening between their legs! Whats going on in their heads is much more important!
tjvanginkel (a girl)
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post #67 of 237 Old 01-11-2012 Thread Starter
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just loves to post on internet forums been doing it for years SHE'S EVERYWHERE! EEK!
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"Next best thing to not having a boat? The knowledge from having one!" Denise, Bristol PA, On Tidal Delaware River, Anchor Yacht Club.
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post #68 of 237 Old 01-21-2012
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Sailing is so sexist that the ladies here feel too inferior to post?

They are treated rudely or not taken seriously?

Anything they say is invalidated?

OK to rant Ladies!
Here's my rant.

Many men tend to be dismissive of our opinions, observations, and insights. Also I have noticed that men tend to think their way is the right way, even though there can be multiple strategies for solving a problem.

Men to want to control discourse through overstated opinion, often not backed by fact or reason. We women tend to back away from confrontation.

Also one must remember that males want dominance; females want consensus. Being dismissive, rude, and condescending is just another strategy to gain an advantage. We must understand this weakness in men and cut them some slack.
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post #69 of 237 Old 01-21-2012
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Originally Posted by helenwiley View Post
Here's my rant.

Many men tend to be dismissive of our opinions, observations, and insights. Also I have noticed that men tend to think their way is the right way, even though there can be multiple strategies for solving a problem.

Men to want to control discourse through overstated opinion, often not backed by fact or reason. We women tend to back away from confrontation.

Also one must remember that males want dominance; females want consensus. Being dismissive, rude, and condescending is just another strategy to gain an advantage. We must understand this weakness in men and cut them some slack.
Wow, Helen. I hope you continued to maintain the "many" down to your last paragraph and didn't mean "all" by then, and that last sentence sounded awfully close to being condescending if I misread intended sarcasm. If not, I feel extremely fortunate that I haven't crossed paths with the men that you have. Sure, I've come across some bad eggs and I'm not deluded into thinking there aren't more but happily I didn't have to deal with them long enough to impact my life to the point where I feel that the majority of men are the same. From the IT guys I work with to the marina personnel, I just don't see it that often. The few ignoramuses that I've come across on this forum are far outnumbered by the men who seem like genuinely nice and helpful people. Some can be a little gruff at times but I don't mistake that for anything other than, well, gruffness.

Thinking about it, over all I've encountered more women who exhibit those traits (domineering, condescending, opinionated, etc.) than men. Consensus wasn't on their agenda. They may have thought they were doing what they needed to do to survive in a "man's world" and if that worked for them so be it. I didn't find it very attractive and I chose not to let them impact my life either.

The people I respect the most (male or female) are those that can be strong, offer constructive criticism and still leave others, and themselves, with their dignity.

Donna


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post #70 of 237 Old 01-21-2012
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Quote:
Also one must remember that males want dominance; females want consensus. Being dismissive, rude, and condescending is just another strategy to gain an advantage. We must understand this weakness in men and cut them some slack. Helen Wiley
Ouch. After reading this I felt I should go and hide and ask forgiveness.

I would have to agree with Donna. Painting a whole gender with such a broad negative stroke is somethoing even Dr Phil doesnt do. Sounds like you have had some bad experiences.

Most of the men and women I have met here are kind, knowledgeable, and also respectful. I have also met quite a few in person and find them to be great people to be around. Though many of us have different levels of experience in sailing you can always learn new things from a newcommer as well as an old salt, from either gender.

Dave


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