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Why are the Ladies silent on Sailnet?

35K views 236 replies 63 participants last post by  emcentar 
#1 ·
Sailing is so sexist that the ladies here feel too inferior to post?

They are treated rudely or not taken seriously?

Anything they say is invalidated?

OK to rant Ladies!
 
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#44 · (Edited)
Denice,

I have you grouped into the category of "sails to cool places". There's no gender involved with that category. It does mean a lot of sailing experience.

That, and maybe the "should be jealous of" category. But then I'm planning to sail through the winter again.

Regards,
Brad
 
#46 ·
Two cents worth from the Bear:
I will be the first the admit that I have learned much more from women than men. I have found women to better teachers, more patient and understanding, usually more complete and through with instructions, unafraid to question and quicker to see results, good and bad. I have found these things by sailing with them as crew and passengers and even in comand. To the Ladies of Sail, God Bless Them!
 
#47 ·
women sailing and posts??

Is the reason why not so many women post to sites like this is that they are all too busy running the house, working full time, sailing in the summer and helping to refit in the winter never mind looking after family - kids aged parents huband/skipper?? Do we have the free time?? If we do, are we spending catching up with best friends who we don't get to see so much during the summer as we are sailing? Is that a reason do you think??
 
#48 ·
Um, with all due respect, do any of you ever talk any real sailing?

As a fairly new woman captain who has just joined Sailnet, I was really hoping to find a group of women (okay, some men, too, why not?) who were interested in exchanging tips on like refurbishing teak, most clever sail trim, how to sail as close-hauled as possible, what % heel you favor, etc.,...
Will my hopes be dashed here?
Hope not.
 
#49 ·
Welcome.. nice to have you here.

Plenty of discussion on the topics you listed, but I suppose they are of wide enough interest that they go into general discussion, or learning to sail rather than hersailnet. Of course you are free to start a thread in hersailnet on any of those topics, and I encourage you to do so.
 
#50 ·
Thank you. And please forgive me if I am awkward at first. I checked the first postings on this thread and the last, but now it occurs to me that if I didn't check the middle I may be jumping to conclusions. My bad.
I don't really know how to get my head wrapped around what Sailnet is and how to become familiar with it all, and with who all!
Probably will stumble a bit, sorry!
If there are long time regulars, will they want to hear from an upstart?
 
#52 ·
Welcome to the "silent majority" section of Sailnet Miraclo! Upstart? Nah! just jump in and post and ask and tell and give advice. When someone comes out of the woodwork and posts something negative on one of your discussions don't let em stop you. just use the "ignore" feature" if they really bother you.
 
#54 ·
Upstart? Nah! just jump in and post and ask and tell and give advice. When someone comes out of the woodwork and posts something negative on one of your discussions don't let em stop you. just use the "ignore" feature" if they really bother you.
Well said, Denise. Now, get back to the galley and make me a sammich.

;)

(ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I am in SO much trouble for that one.)
 
#57 ·
... and given the date, new starts? (Welcome aboard)
 
#60 ·
Don't spend much time in hersailnet as too many of the discussions become mired in smut. What is risqué banter on the deck at the sailing club face to face, comes across as dirty old men online. I'd rather be cleaning seagull poo from my deck again than scrolling pages of innuendo to get to the good info buried in all the posts. What is fun over a beer at the bar, becomes tiresome when you are actually looking for real advice or experience. I live and sail in a family of 4 males, one a teenager so I can handle smutty humour.... But I'd rather give it a miss in a Her-centred forum. Waiting for the first to call me a wowser but you did ask why many of stayed quiet!
 
#62 ·
I've met some of the guys.. most weren't dirty.. even smelled ok too! And it was a 98% humid day with temps nearly as high.
 
#66 ·
Less woman sailors?

I think the big reason for less woman posting is that there are simply less woman sailors. On race days at our Sailing Club the skippers are almost exclusively men, and the ratio of men to women as crew is around 5 to 1 on a good woman day. I skippered our boat in a well attended race, 100 ish boats and looked around me at the skippers meeting and did not notice one other woman! (Don't take this to mean I am a racer, I am not, we have a cruising boat but join in the races occasionally just for the fun of it) I find even in the sailing community it is usually the men who are interested in talking about boat bits, sails, lines, etc. not so many of the women are interested.
I personally don't understand why there are less woman than men who love sailing and talking about sailing but it sure seems that way. At the same time it doesn't really bother me because I have people to talk about boat bits and sailing with and it doesn't matter whats happening between their legs! Whats going on in their heads is much more important!
tjvanginkel (a girl) :)
 
#68 ·
Here's my rant.

Many men tend to be dismissive of our opinions, observations, and insights. Also I have noticed that men tend to think their way is the right way, even though there can be multiple strategies for solving a problem.

Men to want to control discourse through overstated opinion, often not backed by fact or reason. We women tend to back away from confrontation.

Also one must remember that males want dominance; females want consensus. Being dismissive, rude, and condescending is just another strategy to gain an advantage. We must understand this weakness in men and cut them some slack.
 
#69 · (Edited)
Wow, Helen. I hope you continued to maintain the "many" down to your last paragraph and didn't mean "all" by then, and that last sentence sounded awfully close to being condescending if I misread intended sarcasm. If not, I feel extremely fortunate that I haven't crossed paths with the men that you have. Sure, I've come across some bad eggs and I'm not deluded into thinking there aren't more but happily I didn't have to deal with them long enough to impact my life to the point where I feel that the majority of men are the same. From the IT guys I work with to the marina personnel, I just don't see it that often. The few ignoramuses that I've come across on this forum are far outnumbered by the men who seem like genuinely nice and helpful people. Some can be a little gruff at times but I don't mistake that for anything other than, well, gruffness.

Thinking about it, over all I've encountered more women who exhibit those traits (domineering, condescending, opinionated, etc.) than men. Consensus wasn't on their agenda. They may have thought they were doing what they needed to do to survive in a "man's world" and if that worked for them so be it. I didn't find it very attractive and I chose not to let them impact my life either.

The people I respect the most (male or female) are those that can be strong, offer constructive criticism and still leave others, and themselves, with their dignity.
 
#70 · (Edited)
Also one must remember that males want dominance; females want consensus. Being dismissive, rude, and condescending is just another strategy to gain an advantage. We must understand this weakness in men and cut them some slack. Helen Wiley
Ouch. After reading this I felt I should go and hide and ask forgiveness.

I would have to agree with Donna. Painting a whole gender with such a broad negative stroke is somethoing even Dr Phil doesnt do. Sounds like you have had some bad experiences.

Most of the men and women I have met here are kind, knowledgeable, and also respectful. I have also met quite a few in person and find them to be great people to be around. Though many of us have different levels of experience in sailing you can always learn new things from a newcommer as well as an old salt, from either gender.

Dave
 
#71 · (Edited)
I had a long post prepared here and thought better of it. I will say simply that I believe there was some truth in helenwiley's post (and you can find some examples right here in this thread), a big helping of self-serving stereotype, and a bunch of mis-attributed observation.

Perhaps it would be better for women to answer the question by describing their own personal reasons for posting, or not, rather than trying to ascribe motives to people other than themselves, and reviving twenty years of internet gender wars.

For example: "I don't post because I don't think I really have a lot to add to the conversation. It seems like there are lots of other people who have a lot more experience than I do." Or, "I don't post much because it upsets me to have my posts picked apart, taken out of context and criticised by people who can't even spell." Or even, "I guess you're right, I don't post much. Frankly, I think that a lot of the more-prolific posters are blowhards and I don't want people to think of me that way."

OTOH, denise did ask for rants, so I suppose rants are to be expected.
 
#80 ·
It is like that on most of the herSailnet threads. It makes some women really mad. I noticed that the female-centric section on Cruisers Forum is closer to what most women expect here. Less, if any, men post messages there.
 
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