Is Sailing Sexist? - Page 17 - SailNet Community
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post #161 of 359 Old 09-04-2013
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Re: Is Sailing Sexist?

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*Sailing* is not sexist, not being a person and all, but some people can be. WomanShip always struck me as insulting on one level. I used to make a living teaching people to sail and fly. I taught women and girls with no issues. The actual Womenship instructors/skippers were all great, it was just the concept that being male meant I could not do well teaching women bugged me. Kind of like "ManShip" where no women need apply would go over
A lot of woman prefer being taught by another woman for the simple reason women communicate differently than men. They don't have a problem with men, they just have a problem with the way men communicate.

Of course that is not to say some women don't want to have to rely on men for anything. But I'm not one of them. I mean, I'd love for Chef Dave to teach me how to cook. In turn, I'll teach him how to bend conduit.
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post #162 of 359 Old 09-04-2013
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Re: Is Sailing Sexist?

I had female flight instructors when I was getting some advanced ratings and never had an issue understanding them. Perhaps they mastered "man-speak" in order to talk to me

I guess one thing I did that was perhaps female oriented is when I got to function on the boat that was brute-strength related, I would try and point out ways to do it with more brains and less brawn. There is no reason to muscle your boat into 25 knots to get the anchor up if you have a working engine and no reason to break your back getting the anchor loose either.

We did learn real quick with sailing to NOT put husbands and wives on the same boat.
Example:
"Sir, not to be rude but I am a trained instructor and you are a student. Can you please not re-translate everything I tell your wife? Thank you"

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Last edited by Coquina; 09-04-2013 at 10:45 AM.
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post #163 of 359 Old 09-04-2013
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Re: Is Sailing Sexist?

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Originally Posted by Coquina View Post
I had female flight instructors when I was getting some advanced ratings and never had an issue understanding them. Perhaps they mastered "man-speak" in order to talk to me

We did learn real quick with sailing to NOT put husbands and wives on the same boat.
Example:
"Sir, not to be rude but I am a trained instructor and you are a student. Can you please not re-translate everything I tell your wife? Thank you"
Joe,

It's not always about the instructor. Sometimes it's so the women can learn in an environment away from their male SO who may, while trying to be helpful by "translating" your instructions, make things more confusing and harder for her to concentrate. Or he may be a yeller and by taking instruction at a women-only school, this gives her an out for not taking the class with him. Everyone is different.

Regardless of the reasons and where they go to learn, I prefer to see women get the instruction any way they can than not getting any and being in a position where they aren't a helpful, contributing part of the boat ownership and operation. Not every woman is strong-willed enough to exert herself and some need more gentle encouragement. Whatever. In the end we all win.

Donna



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post #164 of 359 Old 09-04-2013
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Re: Is Sailing Sexist?

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Originally Posted by Coquina View Post
We did learn real quick with sailing to NOT put husbands and wives on the same boat.
Example:
"Sir, not to be rude but I am a trained instructor and you are a student. Can you please not re-translate everything I tell your wife? Thank you"
I just completed a week of Intermediate training with my husband and the trainer was complimenting us on getting along very well for the week together. He usually winds up with a lot of screaming husbands and upset wives.

I told the trainer that we were there so he could teach my husband since my husband will always second guess me unless I have someone to back me up. I'm also not a screamer so that helps.

In my experience with sail training on tall ships I found that forceful (loud) male captains turned the teenage girls away from sailing and we would have less female officers in training those years. My best friend really enjoyed sailing until Captain Bob came along and I don't think she's been out on a boat since. In years with gentler male captains or female captains the ratio was closer to 50/50 and occasionally there would be more girls than guys.
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post #165 of 359 Old 09-04-2013
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Re: Is Sailing Sexist?

“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.”

Henry Kissinger quote
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post #166 of 359 Old 09-04-2013
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Re: Is Sailing Sexist?

I've taught plenty of husband/wife teams. It is important to understand the dynamic of the team when providing this instruction. Is the wife there to learn to be proficient in her own right or is she there because she wants primarily to be an assistant to her husband? Or is she there simply to placate her husband and would never have taken the class without his insistenence. By learning together as a team (especially on their own boat), they have the chance to develop cooperative strategies while under the supervision of the instructor. If the instructor understands the dynamic of the couple and their objectives (both individual and as a team), then the instructor can tailor the instructional approach accordingly

These roles can be reversed. Once, I had a couple and he was there at the behest of his wife instead of the other way around.
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post #167 of 359 Old 09-04-2013
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Re: Is Sailing Sexist?

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It's not always about the instructor. Sometimes it's so the women can learn in an environment away from their male SO who may, while trying to be helpful by "translating" your instructions, make things more confusing and harder for her to concentrate.
When a couple brings the dynamics of their relationship into a classroom environment, it can impair the learning process.

And ego needs to be left at the door in any educational environment. "When you're green, you're growin'. When you're not, you rot." No shame in not knowing it all.
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post #168 of 359 Old 09-04-2013
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Re: Is Sailing Sexist?

Wife and I went sailing with friends this weekend and a comment from one of them made us chuckle. She asked, do you two ever fight? You're so nice to each other "Hey sweetie would you hold this, please pull that line, okay, we're getting ready to do such and such". "No yelling or screaming, ya'll are weird, too nice"! LOL. I learned, if I want my wife to come out and sail with me, I need to be calm and polite. She enjoys boating as long as the stress level is low. It also makes your guests much more comfortable and willing to help.

Kevin
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post #169 of 359 Old 09-04-2013
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Re: Is Sailing Sexist?

When I was in private practice ( I am an architect) for years and I did probably 15 houses a year so I got to meet many many couples who were going through a relatively stressful experience, namely building a house.

I found it fascinating. The dynamics between husbands and wives vary widely. Sometimes the husband dominates. In some cases the wife dominates. Some fight and argue and some just hum along. The most interesting and enjoyable couples were evenly matched and dynamic. They complimented each other ( not literally), they argued a little, and power switched back and forth in the conversation as they together found answers that added up to more than either of them. They seemed to have fun doing it too.

I think that's the ideal.

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post #170 of 359 Old 09-04-2013
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Re: Is Sailing Sexist?

I am not sure if I am more surprised of a women writing a book on sailing or that women can sail or even that there is women in this forum?

-I know there is a lady's sections here as I stalk it like a fly at a picnic on a hot summer day.
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