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Is Sailing Sexist?

57K views 358 replies 90 participants last post by  wmartin78758 
#1 ·
I just reviewed a book with a title that made me think- Joy Smith's "The Perfect First Mate- A Woman's Guide to Recreational Boating"

Dock Six Chronicles: Book Reviewsday Tuesday: Bad Title, Better Book

I thought the book had some great information, but the title kind of stuck in my craw: Why not title it "The Perfect Boat Owner"? I put it to the ladies of Sailnet- is this lifestyle of ours as sexist as I think?
 
#3 · (Edited)
It's a pretty awful title. Don't think I'd read it based on that alone. Thank God the Stepford Wives aren't into sailing! lmao


Oh.. and yes.. the sport is very sexist. Look around next time you enter a marina. Look on the Big money racing boats. Sure, a few women have excelled but it's still a boys club. Some of you may remember my thread that Women are almost never called captain. It was a fun and enlightening discussionhttp://www.sailnet.com/forums/hersailnet/60079-womyn-never-called-captain.html...
 
#4 ·
I would have to say "yes". For a majority of boat owners out there it is. As discussed to ad-nausea on most boats there are pink and blue duties. Than there are boats like mine where I am the Captain. There are strong women out there, I believe we are just a small minority.
To qualify this we need to look at the boating community as whole. There are day sailors, serious sailors ( racers and boaters who use there boats a lot), liveaboards, coastal cruisers and world voyagers to name a few. The last 3 is where I see most of the strong women who can do both duties; pink/blue.
It is also can be broken down into generation classes as well. Baby boomers and earlier tend to hold more traditional roles of gender while young generation in particular the X,Y,Z (DINKS, Dual income no kids) gang women tend to cross gender roles more readily.
There can be a whole book or three on gender class roles and the changes over the last 100 years.
In sports Title X ruling for equal access and money in school sports help us women getting into sports where they boys club has keep us out for centuries. Since sailing is a sport, we have seen more and more women compete in world sailing events. The next VOR will have an all women's team for example. In the coming decades I believe we will see more women on equal footing with the men in this great sport. Than this debate might be dead.
 
#36 ·
As discussed to ad-nausea on most boats there are pink and blue duties.
As much as I would like to think this isn't in our DNA ...

A local Subway sandwich shop just hired a bunch of new young people for the spring/summer season and I overheard two conversations there about work assignments. It only took a week before the young men were washing dishes, cleaning bathrooms, and taking trash out and the young women were working the cash registers and interacting with customers. Does it have to be that way ? I'd like to believe it doesn't, but I'm not so sure.
 
#7 · (Edited)
Men and women have genetically-determined differences (pretty obvious) based on evolutionary roles, even in the way their brains work.

On average, men have greater natural mechanical and spatial relations ability than women do. In the prehistoric hunter-gatherer phase of evolution, men were programmed to be the hunters and women were programmed to be the gatherers. Hunting requires different skills from gathering, and vice versa.

Although either of the sexes are free to choose their educational direction and occupations in the free industrialized world, there remains a much greater proportion of men in engineering, math, architecture, the physical sciences, mechanics, construction, and computer science.

Many believe that natural abilities create needs to express those abilities.

Very few occupations today satisfy those needs resulting from our evolutionary abilities; most people in the workforce no longer use their hands to create things.

Consequently, men gravitate toward activities, hobbies and sports involving construction, the mechanics of how things work, and moving through three dimensional space, such as sailing. Sailing satisfies basic needs and challenges basic abilities that proportionately more men than women possess. Therefore more men are interested in and involved in sailing.

The same is true for automobile racing and a number of other pastimes.

Sorry, that is the way the world is. You are only surprised by this if you choose to believe the nonsense that everyone is the same at birth and its only environment and conditioning that determine who we become.
 
#35 ·
Sigh.

At the risk of coming off as confrontational I must comment on your post.

To start with, I don't think you are being mean-spirited and I'm guessing you really must think this to be true. However, what I ask is that you please do not fall into the trap in thinking that just because things have been a certain way in the past that it will always be that way in the future or that the explanations given in the past are still true or automatically valid for all time.

For myself, I have a Ph.D. in physics and know many women who have similar professional abilities (mathematics, spatial reasoning, science, engineering). I also know many who have been actively discouraged from similar pursuits by men (and women) because it was not deemed "appropriate" for a girl/woman.

As for sailing I have observed many women who sail with men who are in charge. Then there are those women who I suspect let the men take charge because of old habits, social pressures and cultural norms they have internalized, not because they cannot do it. I wonder how many men do not let their wives be in charge because they fear that their male buddies would make fun of them?

Christine
 
#8 ·
I would not consider sailing sexist as I do not feel women are purposely excluded from sailing.

Take two people. One man and one woman. Both have the exact same desire to sail. I feel both have the exact same opportunity to sail. There are no obvious exclusions for women.

Also consider the fact that men and women compete in regattas on equal terms. How many sports do that?
 
#196 · (Edited)
Amen... Not many sports allow for equal competition between men and women.

Baseball, no. Hockey, no. Tennis, no, Soccer, no. Gymnastics, no. Football, no. Rugby, no. Volleyball, no. Golf, no/sorf of? Basketball, no. Swimming, no.

Sailing, YES and Racecar driving, YES.....

I'm sure I missed a few...

I'd say sailing is one of the least sexist sports out there.

I work for a number of women boat owners who don't have a SO, nor care to at this point.

Maria owns a Grand Banks and she keeps it in tip top shape all while raising two young girls on her own. She got the boat she wanted and no one excluded her. She also joined the club she wanted and they welcomed her with open arms. (ok not a sailor now, but was)

Carol owns and sails a 36' cutter rigged CCA era boat with her young daughter. She sails it solo with her child 95% of the time. She is also in the "club" as a single woman.

Megan owns a 74' foot steel schooner she runs a charter business from. She physically built the boat with a friend and does all the maintenance herself with the help of her hired crew.

Sara, also single, races two nights per week in one design and PHRF. She also joined her club as a single women..

There are so many more and I don't feel Maine is unique in this regard... Compared to most other sports sailing is about the least "sexist" I can think of...

If you want to seek out and find sexism you can always find it. Heck my wife went to Simmons where they preach sexism to the point of it being their currency... It was so bad and disgusted her so much that to this day she has not made a single donation to them because of it....

My sister grew up in very conservative NH and never found racism until she went to a very, very, very liberal university where THEY, the administration, made issue of her skin color. She never had a single issue, that she can recall, growing up in almost all white NH, but as soon as she got to a much more culturally diverse university, there it was, racism, beating down her door...

They made issue of her skin color by constantly offering her extra tutoring or "we think you should join this "minority group" or that one." or special incentives for tuition based on race etc.. Race and her skin color was pointed out to her by her professors and the administration at every turn. Not by the students or her friends....

She finally got so infuriated that she marched herself down to the dean, without and appointment, and tore him a new ARSE HOLE.

"I am an American God dammit and my skin color has nothing to do with what I came her for. NOTHING !!!!!! NO, I don't need your special incentives or "extra help" because of the color of my skin. Go fu¢k yourself if you want to use me as your tool to meet your "quotas"!!"

With that she walked out.....

She then called my mother and told her she though she was just kicked out of college.... My mother listened to her story and told her she did the right thing.

The dean profusely apologized, including written letter of apology on behalf of the university. He also physically walked himself to her dorm room to apologize in-person. Still, despite my sister pointing out this egregious level of insulting racism, at a university, they never changed their policies on "special treatment" based on skin color....Go figure that the most racism my sister ever encountered in her life was from the people who profess the most not to be racist.... :hothead

Sometimes sexism or racism, or any "ism", comes direct from the folks who claim the most not to be..... A thought anyway.....

Sorry for the rant.....;)
 
#10 ·
Sailing isn't sexist, but don't pretend that the sexes aren't different.

The great majority of sailboats in a given marina are owned by men, or if they're owned by a couple (hetero), then the man is the one who decided to get the boat.

If the man gets hit by a bus, the boat will be sold. Most likely to another man.

Women aren't excluded from sailing, but the female sailboat owner is still a rarity.
 
#11 ·
Sailing isn't sexist, but don't pretend that the sexes aren't different.

The great majority of sailboats in a given marina are owned by men, or if they're owned by a couple (hetero), then the man is the one who decided to get the boat.

If the man gets hit by a bus, the boat will be sold. Most likely to another man.

Women aren't excluded from sailing, but the female sailboat owner is still a rarity.
Addressing only the ownership issue, I agree sorta as it pertains to the outside world. You might find that on sailing forums there is a smaller gap between the number of women members who own boats singly and women members who have joint ownership and are active participants in maintenance and sailing.

I'll stick my hand up as buying my first boat on my own and being the one to initiate buying the second boat after I found a SO. I gave away my first boat to a woman who happened to take my sailing class.
 
#13 ·
on my prior boats
wife co signed the loan or the vessel was documented to both of us.
?who owns the boat. Know what a lawyer would say.
never bought a boat without major input from admiral.
I won't live on my boat- we will
I won't cruise to various places- we will.
When I need to sleep- she will run the boat. When she sleeps I will.

Don't think there are sexist activities- think there are sexist people.

P.S.- Best blue water sailor I ever knew was a petit librianian ( yup truly). Meet her when I was ~30 and she was in her 60s ( my guess). Learned more about sail shape and how to run a boat from her then from just about anyone else I've known. Given her body habitus she taught me the easy way to do everything which usually turns out to be the right way.
 
#16 ·
Well I am disappointed on my phone I thought this was "is sailing sexy."

I will say if this forum's conservative bend is any indication it might be. There is also the fact that there cannot be true equality in real offshore sailing. Some one has to be in charge, in emergency situations decisions are made and followed. This is important to safety of all involved. To me it would not matter who is making the decisions man or woman. For me I would not have issues with taking orders from a female captain. But I know for some it would be an issue. I would love to find a woman to sail with.

Sent from my ADR6425LVW using Tapatalk 2
 
#297 ·
Well I am disappointed on my phone I thought this was "is sailing sexy."

I will say if this forum's conservative bend is any indication it might be. There is also the fact that there cannot be true equality in real offshore sailing. Some one has to be in charge, in emergency situations decisions are made and followed. This is important to safety of all involved. To me it would not matter who is making the decisions man or woman. For me I would not have issues with taking orders from a female captain. But I know for some it would be an issue. I would love to find a woman to sail with.

Sent from my ADR6425LVW using Tapatalk 2
Your post reminds me of The Perfect Storm (the book) where the male skipper of the yacht caught in the storm kept to his bunk and his female crew had to make the decisions about getting rescued. I believe my memory is mostly correct.
 
#17 ·
As for the gender specific chores, I don't buy it.
In the old British navy the boats were mostly inhabited by men, but not necessarily exclusively. Men usually did all of the so called "pink" chores: cooking, cleaning, sewing as well as the piloting, sail trim and navigating chores. The sailmaker was an important member of the crew in those days.
I like to cook and I am re-learning how to sew by hand while sewing up some tears in our 10 year old genoa. I enjoy acting as steward on board my boat when we have company.
If I can do both the "pink" and "blue" jobs then so can a woman. Think of solo circumnavigator donna Lange among others.
Sailing isn't sexist; our culture is.
 
#18 · (Edited)
My wife and I are relatively new to cruising size boats. She is a more competent sailor than I am, having grown up around boats, and probably should take the "captain" role. She is also smarter than I am and realized that if she puts me in charge during high visibility situations (like docking), people will assume I am the "captain" and it is me that gets to look like an idiot when things go wrong.
 
#20 ·
Somewhat relevant to the title of this thread was an article in "Sailing" magazine. To me, I do not see sailing as inherently sexist. That said, many boats are set up with winch and line loadings that are designed around what an average fit man can routinely manage. My wife who is in good physical shape complains that these loads are bigger than she can handle easily. While there are many un-fit men out there, and many very fit woman, perhaps it is time for designers to increase the mechanical advantage so that a larger cohort of the population can easily manage the loads.

Anyway, below is the article on recent growth in sailing coming in the from women taking up the sport....

GROWTH: The secret is out, and she’s female

You sail like a mom: It’s a compliment, not a put-down



While sailing industry types scratch their heads trying to find the right formula to increase the number of kids in sailing programs, and sailing clubs and racing associations nationwide worry about declining memberships, sailing is shifting and growing under their feet.

Promoters repackage races to appeal to shoreside fans of testosterone-loaded extreme sports, selling sponsorships to brands which, in turn, hope fans will buy shirts or drinks, and sailboat builders seek designs hoping for mass appeal or some new “breakthrough” formula, all while sailing is being revolutionized from the inside out.

Sailing is becoming the activity of adult women.

Don’t believe it? Quick, say the last names of Ellen, Dawn, Betsy and Anna. You got them all in a few seconds right? Now try to do that quickly with the names of four guys who sail.

But it’s much more than a few popular female sailing athletes. This revolution isn’t being led by pros or celebrities, but by grassroots changes and on all new terms.

Here’s some evidence: Facebook analytics reports that among 1.1 million Americans who express an interest in sailing, women account for 51%, and 88% of them are over 25 years old. But they’re not just fans. Women under 24 and over 35 share their own sailing experiences on Facebook almost twice as often as men.

Consider that only 20 years ago, men outnumbered women in sailing 7-to-1.

You might see it in your town. What sailing center’s teaching staff isn’t dominated by strong, athletic, articulate and confident female sailing instructors? What collegiate sailing team doesn’t have at least as many women as men? What yacht club doesn’t like to boast about its first female commodore? And what regatta doesn’t overplay its all-female entries?

At the 2012 Soling Worlds for example, someone stood up at the opening ceremony to announce that boat No. 601, skippered by Whitney Kent and crewed by Cate Muller and Ashley Henderson, was the first all-female team ever in a Soling World Championship, and everyone loudly cheered and applauded, as if it was something strange and new. Sure, Soling fleet demographics lean to older guys who still seem focused on the Olympic trials of the 1970s, so they may not have noticed what has been happening recently in other fleets. The No. 601 team wasn’t there as a novelty or to be called out as tokens. Between them, the three women have decades of sailing experience and stellar records, racing and winning in one-design and handicapped events all over the country. They had trained for the event all summer because it happened to be coming to their hometown, and sailed respectably against tough competition.

In many cities near water in the U.S., women are organizing all-women teams and events. These events often grow organically out of a small network of veteran sailors who cobble together some used boats and recruit and help train newcomers until they’ve built a decent-sized fleet. In my town, summer Monday nights (the night the women sail) are the busiest nights on the bay. You might also notice that unlike classically organized sailing events, those for women organized by women don’t have a “yachty,” “club” or an “exclusive” feel. They don’t originate behind a closed gate or in the haze of cigar smoke at a bar. Instead, friends call friends and they go sailing. Everyone, regardless of skill, affiliation, age or experience is welcome, except, of course, for the men.

And here’s something new and different: unlike most adult men in sailing who will tell you that they’ve sailed forever, many women are entering the sport as adults. Often it happens while seeking social connections before or after marriage or kids. A woman will move to a new city to take a job, and the local sailing center looks attractive as a place to meet people and relax in the evenings. Friendships are sparked and a lifelong sailing adventure begins.

Women who get a taste for sailing in women-only events or in community programs often join teams that also include men and when they do, they’re just as good as the men, sometimes better. In my experience, among my crewmates, the women have the deepest commitment, train the hardest and can be the most motivated and motivational skippers.

Sailing belies gender. Women have everything it takes—strength, quickness, smarts and creativity—to sail at any level, from boat rides to blue water, from match racing to solo around-the-world adventures, from dinghies to tall ships.
But there is a more important aspect to this trend. When women who sail also happen to be moms, as they often are or will be, sailing becomes the activity of their families too.

When a sailing mom’s kids are very young, they get an inspiring early taste. They learn to be on and around boats and sailors, to wear life jackets, to touch water, and to be safe. Then, when her kids are old enough to be on a sailing team, the family becomes the team. Mom doesn’t sit in the bleachers at a soccer field, she trims the kite, steers the boat or calls tactics.

So I propose that the most important person on any sailing boat is the mom. Think about it this way: When a mom sails with her kids (instead of driving them to soccer) she’s doing something deemed suited only to men just a few years ago, and she is not doing the things thought to be the status quo for moms today. She’s a renegade. An innovator. A leader.

And that, all you industry types, club and racing association managers, boat makers and sponsors, is how you get kids into sailing.
 
#235 ·
Somewhat relevant to the title of this thread was an article in "Sailing" magazine. To me, I do not see sailing as inherently sexist. That said, many boats are set up with winch and line loadings that are designed around what an average fit man can routinely manage. My wife who is in good physical shape complains that these loads are bigger than she can handle easily. While there are many un-fit men out there, and many very fit woman, perhaps it is time for designers to increase the mechanical advantage so that a larger cohort of the population can easily manage the loads.

Anyway, below is the article on recent growth in sailing coming in the from women taking up the sport....

GROWTH: The secret is out, and she's female

You sail like a mom: It's a compliment, not a put-down

While sailing industry types scratch their heads trying to find the right formula to increase the number of kids in sailing programs, and sailing clubs and racing associations nationwide worry about declining memberships, sailing is shifting and growing under their feet.

Promoters repackage races to appeal to shoreside fans of testosterone-loaded extreme sports, selling sponsorships to brands which, in turn, hope fans will buy shirts or drinks, and sailboat builders seek designs hoping for mass appeal or some new "breakthrough" formula, all while sailing is being revolutionized from the inside out.

Sailing is becoming the activity of adult women.

Don't believe it? Quick, say the last names of Ellen, Dawn, Betsy and Anna. You got them all in a few seconds right? Now try to do that quickly with the names of four guys who sail.

But it's much more than a few popular female sailing athletes. This revolution isn't being led by pros or celebrities, but by grassroots changes and on all new terms.

Here's some evidence: Facebook analytics reports that among 1.1 million Americans who express an interest in sailing, women account for 51%, and 88% of them are over 25 years old. But they're not just fans. Women under 24 and over 35 share their own sailing experiences on Facebook almost twice as often as men.

Consider that only 20 years ago, men outnumbered women in sailing 7-to-1.

You might see it in your town. What sailing center's teaching staff isn't dominated by strong, athletic, articulate and confident female sailing instructors? What collegiate sailing team doesn't have at least as many women as men? What yacht club doesn't like to boast about its first female commodore? And what regatta doesn't overplay its all-female entries?

At the 2012 Soling Worlds for example, someone stood up at the opening ceremony to announce that boat No. 601, skippered by Whitney Kent and crewed by Cate Muller and Ashley Henderson, was the first all-female team ever in a Soling World Championship, and everyone loudly cheered and applauded, as if it was something strange and new. Sure, Soling fleet demographics lean to older guys who still seem focused on the Olympic trials of the 1970s, so they may not have noticed what has been happening recently in other fleets. The No. 601 team wasn't there as a novelty or to be called out as tokens. Between them, the three women have decades of sailing experience and stellar records, racing and winning in one-design and handicapped events all over the country. They had trained for the event all summer because it happened to be coming to their hometown, and sailed respectably against tough competition.

In many cities near water in the U.S., women are organizing all-women teams and events. These events often grow organically out of a small network of veteran sailors who cobble together some used boats and recruit and help train newcomers until they've built a decent-sized fleet. In my town, summer Monday nights (the night the women sail) are the busiest nights on the bay. You might also notice that unlike classically organized sailing events, those for women organized by women don't have a "yachty," "club" or an "exclusive" feel. They don't originate behind a closed gate or in the haze of cigar smoke at a bar. Instead, friends call friends and they go sailing. Everyone, regardless of skill, affiliation, age or experience is welcome, except, of course, for the men.

And here's something new and different: unlike most adult men in sailing who will tell you that they've sailed forever, many women are entering the sport as adults. Often it happens while seeking social connections before or after marriage or kids. A woman will move to a new city to take a job, and the local sailing center looks attractive as a place to meet people and relax in the evenings. Friendships are sparked and a lifelong sailing adventure begins.

Women who get a taste for sailing in women-only events or in community programs often join teams that also include men and when they do, they're just as good as the men, sometimes better. In my experience, among my crewmates, the women have the deepest commitment, train the hardest and can be the most motivated and motivational skippers.

Sailing belies gender. Women have everything it takes-strength, quickness, smarts and creativity-to sail at any level, from boat rides to blue water, from match racing to solo around-the-world adventures, from dinghies to tall ships.
But there is a more important aspect to this trend. When women who sail also happen to be moms, as they often are or will be, sailing becomes the activity of their families too.

When a sailing mom's kids are very young, they get an inspiring early taste. They learn to be on and around boats and sailors, to wear life jackets, to touch water, and to be safe. Then, when her kids are old enough to be on a sailing team, the family becomes the team. Mom doesn't sit in the bleachers at a soccer field, she trims the kite, steers the boat or calls tactics.

So I propose that the most important person on any sailing boat is the mom. Think about it this way: When a mom sails with her kids (instead of driving them to soccer) she's doing something deemed suited only to men just a few years ago, and she is not doing the things thought to be the status quo for moms today. She's a renegade. An innovator. A leader.

And that, all you industry types, club and racing association managers, boat makers and sponsors, is how you get kids into sailing.
interesting article. all I have to say is," where are all these sailor women, darn it? I want one!"

seriously, though. I think there is something the article mentions but does not draw attention to: while more men, generally, tend to sail, than women, men do not keep women from sailing. they do not oppose it. the women sailors, however, do keep men out of their groups. if listen to the article, it is women that are sexist, in the sailing world; not the men. and the article doesn't find fault with that. we live in a double standard society and refuse to admit it. think about it

you can have an all minority group or school or other activity.
but any all white organization or group is automatically racist.

you can have an all female group or club or whatever, and that is applauded.
but an all male group, activity, or club is sexist...even if it's because women just aren't interested.

it's a double standard. but it's an ok double standard. I think it's funny. we are such a self delusional society.

I want to point out that the writer was sexist in assuming cigar smoking is only a man's activity. I have known a number of women that smoked cigars and one that smoked a pipe, like I do.

it has been my observation that, often, the most racist or sexist are the ones going around griping that others are racist or sexist.

I bet no one ever tried to say that quilting bees were sexist. ever met a guy that was into quilting? it's a conspiracy, I tell ya!
 
#22 ·
Boats can be set up to require less strength, but it will cost $$ to do so. Furlers, larger winches or even *gasp* electric!

Perhaps we can remind all the purists that routinely dump on these mechanical devices that they are all sexist. Some argue that you should always be able to manually override. While I agree that one should at least know how to sail without these advantages, there are plenty of large boats where no amount of crew could overcome the loads, without electric or hydraulic advantage. Why should this be different for those with lesser strength on recreational boats.
 
#23 ·
Sailing isn't inherently sexist, but men are and the sailing community is made up predominantly of men. Admittedly, more women are coming into the sport, and, at least in the racing sector, men are increasingly amenable to sailing with and against women. The introduction of the mixed-crew Nacra 17 catamaran into Olympic sailing is also a sign of progress. And though in the Laser class the Standard fleet is overwhelmingly male, there's a very good gender mix in Radials at the Junior level (and in my own fleet at the Masters level).

Nevertheless, the sailing world does remain testosterone-drenched in many respects, as a quick visit over to Sailing Anarchy forums will reveal. Plenty of unabashed sexism (and homophobia) on display in any given thread, and seldom called out by anyone who should know better. Pretty much what one would expect from men who prefer spending their free time offshore in the company of other men, doing manly things, far from the company of wives and girlfriends.
 
#28 ·
Agreed, not all sexism is bashing. However, all gender bashing is sexism and it is rampant on her-sailnet.

I stand by the seagull analogy, because most of the bashing is done by posters that don't stick around long. I believe that is in part because most of the consistent female posters, such as DR and Denise30 don't take the bait, although, can rightly dish it out when the guys cross the line.

Personally, I reject the simplistic conclusion that women are economically disadvantaged, etc. That's just too easy to say and hard to correlate to the outcome. As I think about every person I know, both male and female, more males have a passion for the sport than female. It has nothing to do with roles or when they started sailing or money. There are all kinds in both genders, but I can count 1 passionate female sailor for 10 males. I know many other female sailors who enjoy it and prefer to take the lesser role, as they don't have any desire to become a student of the sport. No one is stopping them. My wife included. I would prefer she did, but she only wants to know enough to get by and relax.

Is there a passionate female sailor that is blocked? I'm sure there is. I'm sure there are males too. I would even stipulate that there may be more blocked females than males, but we don't know it to be true. In the end, however, I do think more males choose the sport than female and it isn't going to be gender neutral as a result.

p.s. sorry about the CT swat, it was intended to be kidding. I certainly realize by now that the smiley doesn't always communicate well.
 
#29 ·
Here's the most recent post that I read in another active thread that I incorrectly attributed to this one. I've omitted the poster, as I really don't intend to start a sword fight. I'm just trying to show what I'm referring to. Have a male post something like this and it would start a war.

Right on sailor wench, screw those stupid men, they are so insecure and I really could care less about what they have to say or whine about! I go my own way alone without the BS they put forth!...........
 
#30 · (Edited)
Thanks Brian,

At the very least you opened my eyes to think about some things. Your Op might be deliberately vague, as you asked about "this lifestyle". I'm not that familiar with your lifestyle. maybe I'll read your blog some more.

As for my own lifestyle - my first thought is I'd kill to be the first mate and have my wife be captain. That's probably not going to happen. After 20 years of marriage I love her dearly but some fantasies are just not going to happen in this lifetime, for either of us. I don't think she is going to go out and buy a 40' sailboat and teach me how to help her sail it to Grenada, although I imagine I would really like that. :) I don't want to pursue some sexist behavior that makes my wife feel second rate, but I really just consider sailing itself to be an innocent thing, a positive thing, a worthwhile thing.


One time she took the boat out herself with one of our boys and after spending the better part of an hour stalling the boat out and going backwards (and laughing hysterically) she came to admit that she really isn't the expert sailer she once claimed to be. At age 47, I also am at that age where I know less than I did when I was 20. If you are my age, you know what I mean. Life teaches you to be humble. But something inside me drove me to spend days and years learning how to sail better and better and for her that same urge hasn't really happened yet.

All that said, I know my wife gets scared and frustrated sometimes aboard and anything I can learn that would help me to help her enjoy it more and be more knowledgable is very helpful. We are lucky in that our whole family loves sailing. After all these years she and I really are best friends and more. Who wouldn't want their BFF to enjoy and learn all about sailing? I think I might take a look at that book.
 
#31 ·
Not sexist. Racing is one of those sports where women regularly beat men, at least in boats requiring maximum brains and medium or less brawn. Sprinkle of few teams of the best of both genders into, say, Shieldses on a nice day, and see what happens.

Cruising, I suppose, since it required boat ownership et al, may have favored men since they were historically the ones more able to afford the money and time than women. The commercial waterfront has been mostly male since forever, the recreational waterfront less so. But that's much more about "traditional" gender roles than about sailing.

Women now have almost four decades' experience in the Naval, Coast Guard, and Merchant Marine academies too, and now occupy captain's quarters on more than a few vessels.

Some of this may take more time, but racing I think is almost at gender-neutrality, and could get there soon if designers want to reduce a bit of the upper-body strength and crew weight/leverage numbers on some of the winch-farm racers or screaming dinghies..
 
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