First sail in 25 years - Page 2 - SailNet Community
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post #11 of 29 Old 03-11-2008
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Sailitaway:
Maybe you should consider hooking up with someone who has a boat and take her for a NICE day's sailing. If she is really interested after that you probably won't have a problem going further.
If she really hates it, you will not have wasted a lot of money. Surely there is one of out there that could take you for a day.
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post #12 of 29 Old 03-11-2008
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I'll play devil's advocate here...
It's been 25 years since you've been sailing. Perhaps there was a reason you haven't been sailing since that you don't remember. I'd suggest either the BWSS or find someone's boat to ride on a few times to make sure it's what you really want to do before you go out and buy a boat.

Good luck in whatever you decide.
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post #13 of 29 Old 03-11-2008
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John, not to make a recommendation but just describe our experience, my wife and were in a similiar situation of returning to sailing after a hiatus of about 25 years. We initially planned on acquiring a boat on the Gulf, a four to five hour drive away. We ended up with an entirely different boat than we'd planned, on a lake, a 30 minute drive away. Rather than long drives and long sailing, we make many short drives for shorter sailing, and we're convinced we end up with a lot more sailing. This is especially true because we totally underestimated the amount of maintenance time for even a new boat. We actually enjoy the maintenance time when the wind is becalmed, just to be in the marina. I'm not sure I'd say the same after having driven half a day, no sailing, facing yet another half a day return driving.

As for convincing your wife, I think that is essential. I'd let her participate fully in all aspects of planning and execution. My wife likes sailing, but keeping her really happy means when we're sailing she has the wheel, and I do all the rest. If that's what it takes, it's OK with me. It also means I don't yell at her when she messes up, and she's nice enough not to yell at me when I mess up.
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post #14 of 29 Old 03-11-2008
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I have a different perspective on the situation. Not all women love sailing at first, but they can often grow to love it. But, most women love to get out of the home and socialize. Find a nearby lake that has a sailing club with an active social calendar of cookouts, banquets, pig roasts, wine-tasting parties, etc. Get a small overnighter cruising boat, like a Catalina 22, attend the social events. The wife will likely look forward to getting together with her new friends, and, when they go out sailing with their husbands, she'll go out with you. In time, she'll see the sunsets from a gliding sailboat, and she'll be hooked.

But, just in case it doesn't work out that way, get the boat anyway. Some guys play golf or tennis or poker without their wives. A sailboat is a just reward for a hard working man who has met his family obligations all his life. Enjoy!
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post #15 of 29 Old 03-11-2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sailormon6 View Post
But, just in case it doesn't work out that way, get the boat anyway. Some guys play golf or tennis or poker without their wives. A sailboat is a just reward for a hard working man who has met his family obligations all his life. Enjoy!
That's some very wise advice Sailormon. Be careful when choosing your first sailboat. Some wives emotions can be very enigmatic and difficult to decipher.

Even though I sailed before getting married, we've had a few powerboats during the past few years - always slipping them at a marina. My wife really loves being on the water and enjoyed the social aspect of marina life, from where we have made many friends.

The majority of these friends are sailors, including several liveaboards on large cruising boats. We spent a great deal of time on and in their boats and were often invited along on both day sails and extended cruises with them. This reactivated the joys I had of sailing on the Bay when younger. Although she never participated, except for taking the wheel on occasion, my wife appeared to show an interest in the design of sailboats and sailing - albeit never really experiencing sailing in heavy weather.

So, I began the search for a suitable boat for us to transition into - settling on a Nauticat 33. After finding the exact model we preferred, she finally agreed to the purchase. This I believe, is where I may have screwed up.

The boat is very comfortable, tons of livable space, well-built and easy to sail. But the aft helm is very high off the water, which can be exposed and intimidating to newbies, especially when coming about in high winds.

During a sail to the Vineyard one weekend, a sudden heavy gust created an unexpected gybe, combined with a large wake from a passing powerboat. This caused my wife to slam her back against the hard teak cap of the aft deck helm's railing. Long after the bruises of that incident healed, she became increasingly nervous of any wind gusts. This paranoia got to the point that I eventually had no choice, other than selling the boat.

She has made it very clear that she dislikes sailing and I often wonder if things would have turned out differently if I had chosen a lower freeboard and stiffer boat. It is likely that I will eventually buy a smaller sailboat to go out solo with family & friends - who fully appreciate sailing. Perhaps in time, she will come along and overcome her fears . . . just perhaps.

True Blue . . .
sold the Nauticat

Last edited by TrueBlue; 03-11-2008 at 10:57 AM.
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post #16 of 29 Old 03-11-2008
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make sure that lake you are near is suitable for small boat sailing. Friend of mine put a boat on a small lake and it turns out the lake doesn't get a lot of breeze in the hot days of summer. So drifting along at 3k wasn't too appealing to the missus. Is it full of jet skis? That will make any day miserable if you are getting waked all day long by them.

You can find some day charters on Lake Erie and try that as well as/or as an alternative to the BWSS

Last edited by xort; 03-11-2008 at 12:31 PM.
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post #17 of 29 Old 03-11-2008
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Thats the big one

Hard to remember in the heat of it...but the best advice so far..

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It also means I don't yell at her when she messes up, and she's nice enough not to yell at me when I mess up.
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post #18 of 29 Old 03-11-2008
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That's some very wise advice Sailormon. Be careful when choosing your first sailboat. Some wives emotions can be very enigmatic and difficult to decipher.

Even though I sailed before getting married, we've had a few powerboats during the past few years - always slipping them at a marina.
True Blue,
Let me know when you get the Hinckley T40 with the jet drives and joystick control. Or maybe even the Picnic EP, that one would do very nice. I want to go for a ride!

Courtney is My Hero

If a man is to be obsessed by something, I suppose a boat is as good as anything, perhaps a bit better than most - E.B. White
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post #19 of 29 Old 03-11-2008 Thread Starter
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Advice appreciated

I thank everyone for all of the advice. Now all I have to do is sort it out.

An acquaintinance of mine who has a 22 ft boat of some type, but has never offered to take me sailing, felt it would be a great experience ot do the week long BWSS. He felt I would come away from it with a better understanding of what sailing is all about. What do you all think.

I do have one question: Several of you sailors advised me to buy a C&C 22. Why is the C&C 22 such a good starter boat? What are the pros and cons?
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post #20 of 29 Old 03-11-2008
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A 22' is small enough that you'll learn pretty fast on it... and big enough that you'll have someplace to sleep, and many of the same systems as a larger boat—anchor, rigging, plumbing, electrical—although a bit simpler.

I'm not familiar with the C&C 22, are you sure it's a C&C 22?? I know catalina and Canadian Seacraft both made 22' boats, but don't recall C&C making one. I thought the smallest C&C was a 24'.

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