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Will I get comfortable over time?

13K views 70 replies 36 participants last post by  chucklesR 
#1 ·
My husband and I are nearing the end of a sailing lesson program in the Northeast. We have always wanted to learn to sail, and we're having a great time (we are mid-fifties). The problem is I am, in general, more of a timid person as opposed to an adventurer like my husband. Our latest lesson involved a day sail which brought us into open water. On our return the weather turned and it was raining and quite windy, causing the boat to heel excessively multiple times. Everyone else except for me and one other person seemed fine with the conditions. I was terrified that the 28' boat would topple over. At times it seemed that we were almost on the verge of "going over". We have one more outing before the session is over. After this last one, I'm not sure this is the sport for me, but I don't want to give up this easily. On the other hand, I don't think I want to get more involved in something that will cause me to become so unnerved everytime a less than ideal situation arises (which I know is certain to happen). Is this something that I will or can get used to? Is there somewhere that I can read something that may convince me that the boat will not tip over? I want to believe that this can be a safe sport if you follow the rules and are smart about things. Thanks ahead for any advice anyone can provide.
 
#56 ·
One of the first things kids do when they learn to sail with an instructor is to go out and capsize (a small dinghy). You might try sailing on a smaller scale and in a single handed dinghy. If you are comfortable as a swimmer this might be good training.

But in the end sailing is not always a husband and wife activity.
 
#57 ·
Not always a husband and wife activity? Gosh, I hope that's not the case for us....

I am a fairly decent swimmer, but I'm also in my mid-fifties, so therefore more fearful than a 12 year old.

I'm going at this with a positive point of view, thanks in large part to the help I've received on this forum. Hope that makes this husband and wife endeavor a successful one! :D
 
#59 ·
No Worries...you being here asking thease questions proves that...Good Luck with the purchase....and dont forget us ....We need pictures and your story. ..:D
 
#60 ·
LUCY;

I admire your desire to see this through, and the open way you have posted here.
My wife (also in her mid 50's) had never sailed when we bough our boat, and with the boat still on the hard (out of the water) the opportunity to go for a day sail with visiting friends on their boat was exciting for her to say the least. The skipper spoke with her as we motored out on a brisk morning explaining that the boat was going to heel, but that this was normal and it would not capsize, and always come back up if it got pushed well over.
I could see her stiffen up as the sails were first trimmed on a close reach and the boat heeled to about 20 deg. or so, but she could see we were all enjoying the day so decided that this must be normal. As time went on the wind began to ease and everything got slower, and I sensed she was a bit disappointed.
A few hours later, with very little wind we were all relaxed and chatting, not really watching the sky when heavy rain suddenly hit, and, as is not uncommon in our area a very sudden gust knocked us right down, water over the ports, Genoa in the water. The boat stayed that way for about 15 or 20 seconds then came head to wind and stood up again, and just as suddenly the wind died off to about 5 knots. Nobody in the water, nobody thrown about. Poor Ruth was white as a sheet with her "I don't think I like this " expression. Our friend, always quick on his feet, immediately said, "See I told you she will always come back up"
Now Ruth knows that a keelboat can fall right on her side, but pop right back up again, and she understands that the boats' natural tendency if knocked down is to come head to wind and stand upright again. She has experienced about the worst that will happen in our sheltered area and knows it's O.K.
I won't say she wants to do it all again for fun, but she now can manage her fear.

Tim J
 
#63 ·
I remember the day i got over my fear of capsize, mucking around in my grandparents bog standard grp rowing/sail dinghy.

I was still learning and seeing the water come close to the gunwales was alarming. A bug gust pushed it right under and water poured in, until i luffed up and upright.

Its funny. From then on I was fine. Its like i knew where the tipping point was (and that i wasnt that close to it).

Some v good advice in these posts...
Trust, both of the boat and people.
If youre up for doing the dinghy training thats fantastic. Some of the best sailors in the world learned in dinghys.
The right clothing can make an AMAZING difference. Nudge to hubby. Make a present on some cozy fleece lined off shore gear.

Its great youre pushing your boundaries. It'll be so worth it when it all comes together and youre out on the sparkling sea.
 
#69 ·
congrats lucy. post photos when you can. :)
 
#70 ·
Congrats. Now, get out there and roll that sucker over!
Just kidding. I was skimming over, an in addressing your primary concern, no, there's nowhere to go to read something that'll convince you the boat will not turn over. If you are convinced, you're sailing while blindfolde. Any boat will turn over if pushed (intentionally or accidentally) beyond its limits. Your best bet is to know those limits, avoid exceeding them when possible, and be prepared for when they are exceeded.
 
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