Freesail: look closer. That's a locking winch handle.
The Tanzer22 is a slightly old-fashioned hull with soft bilges -- roly poly, but insanely stable. It weighs ~1000# more than the Catalina22 and twice as much as our SJ21; most of that weight is ballast (45-48% ballast ratio!!!). Short of a massive breaking wave on the beam, you will never capsize that boat. The spars & rigging are oversized, the hull stout ... it's a brute. But no slug for all that weight in the keel (PHRF 237). It carries lots of sail to move that weight; best way to stand the boat upright on breezy days is to stick with the working jib (100%er) and leave the dock
with a reef (or two) in the main. Get used to the boat in low-power mode, then add sail area as your comfort increases.
Heeling is scary until you've done it for a month or two of regular sailing. Then it's fun. A little while later, a sloped deck becomes your new normal.
Having the most-nervous crew helm or share the tiller is one way to overcome the fear. A calm, smiling skipper is another. We took our little SJ21 out in 40 knots (flat water), and I could see my girlfriend inspecting my face for anxiety. If it were there, she would not have enjoyed the day. I knew the boat was fine: the tiller was alive but not loading up, the reefed main taut but not groaning ... and I giggled every time a pile of cold spray came flying over the decks or the rail started running foam. She took her cue from that and settled right in.
First time out in the keelboat each season, I'll admit to nervousness when the boat really lays over. A day in the Buccaneer18 racing dink cures that, tho.
Dinghy sailing is a fabulous way to get used to heeling, rounding up, even capsizing. Everything happens faster on a small boat, and it's a nice place to learn the reflexes that will serve you on larger ones. Dump it? No biggie. But you'll learn how far you can push it before it goes, and where the ideal heel angles lie. If you can get out in dinghies -- Zumas, 420s, lasers, El Toros, even Sunfish -- do. His and hers. Play tag, hold mini races, practice synchronized tacking, just play around on some protected body of water. When you get back in a ballasted boat, it'll feel like a battleship and the anxieties will be gone.