Convincing the other half ..... - SailNet Community
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post #1 of 8 Old 02-13-2006 Thread Starter
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Convincing the other half .....

My husband and I are 23 and 25 years old. A couple of months ago I proposed this idea to him to sail to the Caribbean. We are selling our first home soon, and since we live in Florida, of course we made a ton of money off of it. So with this extra cash, I told him what an exciting oppurtunity this has opened up for us. We could buy a larger boat and sail off, then worry about what happens next when we get home (if we ever decide to come back) At first he thought i was nuts, and now he is more and more seeing the reality of it. We have been doing alot of research together, looking at boats, and reading plenty of stories of other people who have done this sucessfully. He knows how much this means to me, and he loves the idea too, and is going along with all of the preparations so far, but he is worried. .......

He is so worried about what is goign to happen when we get back. I see as such an oppurtunity becuase we are so young, with nothign to lose. No real ties to our careers, since we just graduated college in the last 2 years, no kids, and no debt to worry about.

I don't necessarily need to convince him, that has been done and he's excited, he just doesn't have the confidence that i have that this is a positive thing for our future, and not somethign that will kick us in the butt down the road....

ANy ideas, websites, articles, or testimonies, that might help me to show him that the world will be waiting for us right where left it when we return?
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post #2 of 8 Old 02-14-2006
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Hello again, Lacey. You voice a very common concern faced by almost everyone who wants to 'unplug' for a while. FWIW we've stepped away from careers on 3 separate occasions for extended cruising. In each case, doing so - among many other benefits - resulted in us ending up better off professionally, financially, in terms of a more satisfying geographic setting, and twice (when our son was cruising with us) better schools. The basic reason for this is that, each time we unplugged, we were freed up in two respects: conceptually, we were free to see choices more objectively since we weren't mired in a rut; and more practically, we didn't have to 'unplug' from one set of circumstances in order to act on our preferences and settle into new ones.

Re-entry may take a bit of time but, almost without exception, the stories we've heard from others is that re-entry is rarely a let-down and almost never a reason not to go in the first place. Just be sure to plan for 're-entry' financially as you work off your basic financial plan.

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post #3 of 8 Old 02-16-2006
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Go! Things will work out. When I was in my late 20's my then wife and I were going to do the same. I quit a good teaching job, which were very tough to get in those days (25 ysr. ago) and we gave up our home. We never made it - the marriage broke up before we left the dock. The point I am trying to make is that even in this situation, which ended up in absolute disaster for me short term, turned out so much better for me in the long term. I have no regrets that I made the decision - even though I did not go. I'm not suggesting your marriage will fall apart over this, I am saying that when you come back in a year or two you will be able get your careers going and be better off for it. I was able to get back into teaching the following year and both my present wife and I just retired this past spring.

You are in a good position now - no debt no kids - it may be your last opportunity.
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post #4 of 8 Old 02-23-2006
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No one has asked the most obvious question.

Do either of you have any sailing experience? Have you spent any extended time aboard a boat? My suggestion would be to take sailing lessons, get certified and then charter a boat for a week.

While a lot of people learn the skills along the way, it might be smarter to test the waters (no pun intended) before you make plans for the long term. Make sure the you understand the reality of sailing, and are not just swept away by the romantic view of an adventurous life.

The pessimist complains about the wind;
the optimist expects it to change;
the realist adjusts the sails.
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post #5 of 8 Old 03-10-2006
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I'm not a cruiser (yet) but I just want to pitch in...

If you two are college grads with no debt, Go!!! Your are rare specimens in this day and age! The biggest challenge my SO and I are going to have getting into cruising is taking care of the debt load from my education first.

Just wanted to congragulate you both on being so well set so early in life. There really is always another job, another house... but once you get too settled the credit issue catches up with you fast. Enjoy life, few people really get to.

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post #6 of 8 Old 03-11-2006
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Thumbs up go.go.go
you' ish.I'"an.embarassment.of.mangoes".
It' .are.thinking. ipe's.also.
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post #7 of 8 Old 03-15-2006
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I saw a book on this called DRAGGED ABOARD maybe you can find it and it will help.
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post #8 of 8 Old 04-05-2006
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Living the Dream


My husband and I are 26 and 28, and we left Florida just over a year ago on our 35 foot boat. With no kids and no debt we were in the same position as you (although we already had the boat). We boat grew up sailing, so that was not an issue, and we spent a month in the Bahamas a year before leaving for the big trip as a sort of a "trial run".
There are a few things I can tell you from my own experience... Let me preface it with saying that this life is great and I love it... Now. It is not all romance and perfect sunsets and cocktails on the beach etc. It is still hard work, planning, flexibility and being able to adapt to new situations. It has been a challenge for us because of our age, we have met very few young people (especially Americans, so good on you!) and while hanging out with people from other age groups is great, they are at a different point in their lives so they don't always realate to the issues that may come up for you. We did not spend a lot of time in the Caribbean, we actially sailed down the Western Caribbean and through the canal as New Zealand was our ultimate goal, so I can't tell you much about that part of the world. The Pacific is magical, and beautiful- but very big. We had originally planned to "rejoin" life and settle in New Zealand but after spending a few months here have decided that we are not ready to settle yet and so are continuing on cruising in the next month- back to the islands and possible Australia next year. Don't worry about what will happen when you "get back". We recently went home for a month for family reasons, and while everyone was glad to see us after over a year of being away, we sort of picked up where we left off. You will learn so much not only about sailing but about yourselves and about the world on your journey. Good Luck to you! Please feel free to email us if you have any questions.
Abby and Jeff
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