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Go Back   SailNet Community > Out There > Cruising & Liveaboard Forum > Living Aboard > Convincing the wife, living aboard in Florida is a good idea.
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Thread: Convincing the wife, living aboard in Florida is a good idea. Reply to Thread
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Topic Review (Newest First)
02-25-2010 09:32 AM
Cruisingdad
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soontobecruiser View Post
I am a wife that loved sailing but wasn't sure about living aboard for a long time. I really enjoyed vacationing 2 weeks at a time on our boat on the Chesapeake Bay. This past summer we had decided to do the work on our boat that we thought were absolute musts and then head off to Florida. An interesting and blessed turn of events happened and I found out we are expecting a child about a month before we left Virginia on the boat. We are currently in Marathon, Florida and I am now 24 weeks pregnant.

We traveled down the ICW and spend about 2 months over the holidays with my in-laws in the Daytona Beach area. I love sailing and believe I always will. My husband and I tend to push hard at anything we do. We had a cold wet trip down the ICW (Heat and hot water didn't make it on the list of must haves). Even if money wasn't an issue we are both seriously reconsidering if this is how we want to live for long term. We have a 36' boat which just is not enough room and it doesn't have enough tankage. It hasn't been a real easy trip and having to stop at a marina every now and then gets to be expensive pretty quick. There tend to be problems that creep up on a regular basis and we have found out that provisioning with food along the east coast requires lots of walking or bike riding (bike riding has been to uncomfortable for me to do.)

I wouldn't change the time and the experiences as we have travelled to Florida. There have been some really great days and I am sure a better equipped boat would have made some things more comfortable. I don't know for sure what we will end up doing other than there is a good chance that my husband will have to go back to work for a while.

If you both aren't into it, you will almost definitely have problems.
That is marathon.

Sail up to Fort Myers Beach. Go to Snook Bight Marina. Lot sof live aboard kids and a community that accepts them. That is where we are for a little longer (6&9 yo boys). We have three other boats here with live aboards with kids. Many other live aboards without (the older generation). Publix, the groecery store, is literally next door to the marina. You can bike to everything on the island, and when you do not want to, there is a very inexpensive trolley that runs on and off it.

Marathon is pretty and scenic. I have been there (obviously). But I can live anywhere on this planet and I did not choose it. There are areas that are a better fit for you guys than Marathon - esp with kids.

This is just my opinion. If you want more info, PM me.

Brian
02-25-2010 09:05 AM
Soontobecruiser I am a wife that loved sailing but wasn't sure about living aboard for a long time. I really enjoyed vacationing 2 weeks at a time on our boat on the Chesapeake Bay. This past summer we had decided to do the work on our boat that we thought were absolute musts and then head off to Florida. An interesting and blessed turn of events happened and I found out we are expecting a child about a month before we left Virginia on the boat. We are currently in Marathon, Florida and I am now 24 weeks pregnant.

We traveled down the ICW and spend about 2 months over the holidays with my in-laws in the Daytona Beach area. I love sailing and believe I always will. My husband and I tend to push hard at anything we do. We had a cold wet trip down the ICW (Heat and hot water didn't make it on the list of must haves). Even if money wasn't an issue we are both seriously reconsidering if this is how we want to live for long term. We have a 36' boat which just is not enough room and it doesn't have enough tankage. It hasn't been a real easy trip and having to stop at a marina every now and then gets to be expensive pretty quick. There tend to be problems that creep up on a regular basis and we have found out that provisioning with food along the east coast requires lots of walking or bike riding (bike riding has been to uncomfortable for me to do.)

I wouldn't change the time and the experiences as we have travelled to Florida. There have been some really great days and I am sure a better equipped boat would have made some things more comfortable. I don't know for sure what we will end up doing other than there is a good chance that my husband will have to go back to work for a while.

If you both aren't into it, you will almost definitely have problems.
02-21-2010 08:40 PM
aquanta I Second AlanBrown's comments, My wife and I have had sailboats for the last 20 years and just two years ago bought our dream boat to live and cruise aboard. We were ready to take early retirement and just get out but...

Two weeks ago while I'm away on a job, I'm served divorce papers out of the blue! Her answer is she doesn't want to move aboard and leave the dog.

Just charter or part ownership...
02-21-2010 07:19 AM
eryka
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlanBrown View Post
Don't do it!

Unless your life's partner (How was that for inoffensive?) is willing to commit to your dream and make it her own, it's never going to work out for you. I tried this with my wife of 30 years. She soon became my ex-wife.

Sounds like you folks might benefit from taking a crewed charter for a week or two to shake out the sea legs and determine if mal de mer is going to be a problem for your wife. Don't invest in a new boat until you get this deal breaker figured out.

If you determine that the ocean's going to remain a dream and not become a reality, gas up the RV and get moving! There is no end to the beautiful places you can discover while driving around the back roads of North America.
Good advice. Make the charter in the prettiest place you can find, and bring along ginger, bonine, whatever your seasickness remedy of choice is. Look at somewhat bigger boats than you're current one - living aboard long-term won't work if it feels like camping out and its hard to fit many creature comforts in a boat < 30-ish feet.

Don't focus on what you're giving up (like a house, garden, big-screen tv, whatever) focus on what you gain - freedom, interesting experiences, sunsets, NO SNOW. We just began our 8th year living on a 33-ft boat, currently in the Bahamas out islands.
02-21-2010 12:59 AM
sailingdog Did you order Debra Ann Cantrell's book??? If not, you really need to.
02-20-2010 03:20 PM
2Gringos Keldee beat me to it. I was going to say that a good start would be to start referring to her as 'my wife' instead of 'the wife'. there's some slight, but important, difference. Or so I have recently been informed.
02-20-2010 03:10 PM
AlanBrown Don't do it!

Unless your life's partner (How was that for inoffensive?) is willing to commit to your dream and make it her own, it's never going to work out for you. I tried this with my wife of 30 years. She soon became my ex-wife.

Sounds like you folks might benefit from taking a crewed charter for a week or two to shake out the sea legs and determine if mal de mer is going to be a problem for your wife. Don't invest in a new boat until you get this deal breaker figured out.

If you determine that the ocean's going to remain a dream and not become a reality, gas up the RV and get moving! There is no end to the beautiful places you can discover while driving around the back roads of North America.
01-31-2010 01:18 AM
chrisncate ...
01-30-2010 09:38 PM
Keldee As far as I am concerned calling your better half"the wife " does not bode well for a partnership in living aboard together.The only way this works is if BOTH of you want it.
Wanderingstar has it right starting off with short trips also listen to her tolerance level when sailing and adjust accordingly it will pay off in the end and build trust.Forget about BFS's unless she wants them or just sail on your own.The power squadron courses arevery good not just for your wife but you as well.Good luck
01-30-2010 07:00 PM
bljones Damn, sailhog, you always leave out that one very important phrase after "with your girlfriend"... aforementioned phrase being, "that your wife doesn't know about..."

This is the fifth time that you have offered this advice without the right phrasing, and three out of five have ended in divorce, one threw a fit, and one we have not heard back from, but the search for the body continues. You gotta be more careful, dude!
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