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Go Back   SailNet Community > General Interest > General Discussion (sailing related) > Newbe with no experience buys big boat
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Topic Review (Newest First)
12-31-2014 03:56 PM
glenndamato
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Thanks smackdaddy . . . I may well do that, but I want to be able to get a boat that is NOT a "fixer-upper" like Serenity (don't want to spend two or three years fixing up) and I want to be able to develop an income source, however modest, that doesn't rely on a paycheck from a company (hopefully that income source won't have to be social security!). Even with a nest egg, I know what it feels like to be afloat with NO income source whatsoever, and it's an ugly feeling (to me!). I'm working on establishing myself as a fiction author - but I'm doing it the slow & hard way (taking my time to research and write a first novel) rather than quickly pound-out a story and self-publish it for a buck or two (way too many people already doing that).

Happy New Year,

Glenn
12-31-2014 01:07 PM
BubbleheadMd
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Sal-

This can educate you on the "crazy/hot" matrix:

Enjoy.
12-31-2014 09:24 AM
Sal Paradise
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

I did buy the book and I also found the interactions with the women, particularly the part about Megan, a little depressing. It's not so much a judgement on Glenn or any of them but for me as a reader - I was glad that I am married. I don't think I would fare very well today in the "meet market".

I also wonder if its because the number of women who will cruise on a sailboat is a very small slice of the population. It would be like hitting the lottery to find a woman who is single, not crazy , beautiful and likes to sail.

For whatever reason, I think the part about rejecting Megan came across as particularly tough, especially the skimpy night gown scene. I think most guys reading that would imagine that silent rejection. Not realistic, but the readers imagination works that way. That part of the book could have used a bit more sympathy and some dialogue.


Still, it was a great read. I enjoyed it and imagined myself along for the trip so you did a good job. I hope you post a link to your new book when you get it published.
12-31-2014 03:09 AM
smackdaddy
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Glen - buy another boat dammit! I wanna see another composter explosion.
12-30-2014 11:09 PM
krisscross
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

OK, I get it.
Best of luck writing fiction novels, Glen. I almost never care to read them, but they seem to sell.
12-30-2014 11:00 PM
glenndamato
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Krisscross, I act fine. For most of my life I've held public contact jobs that require a fairly adequate personality (instructor, sales, etc.)! Most people who know me think I'm a fine and empathetic and courteous person. But I like pretty women (or those who are pretty to me). And here is a fact: a pretty woman will get the most handsome and physically fit man she can get. If one doesn't work, she will move on to the next. Yes, looks matter. They matter very much! There's no getting around it.

Look, I'm over this stuff. The events of the book occurred over ten years ago. I have my health, my friends, family, financial security, and I'm looking forward to establishing a reputation as a fiction author. Many people who know me (married people!) say, "I'd give anything to have your life." It's a pretty good life, with lots of freedom. I'm happy and satisfied with it. No, I am not willing to "settle" for a woman for whom I am not sexually attracted. My life is no less for not wanting to do that. In short, it is quite feasible for a man to live a good and productive life without having to mold his existence around a woman.

Thanks again for your input,

Happy New Year!

Glenn
12-30-2014 10:37 PM
krisscross
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Glen, if that is the case, I stand corrected. Somehow I missed that in your book, or - as you say - it was a part not well described. Still, when it comes to describing women and your experiences with them, I got the impression that you lay your bad luck with them squarely on your looks. Sure, for some 95% of women looks make or break the deal and they can't help it. But I wonder if part of your problem is the way you act around them. And that is something you can learn to be better at. But you might have to practice it on 'less then your ideal' girls. Remember, while wolves prefer to hunt deer, they learn their skills catching mice.
You have a good job, make decent money, you are a smart guy, your not a loser - there are many decent looking women who would give you a chance. Who knows, eventually you might even snag a real prize catch. But you have to practice catching mice first.

Glad to hear you have not given up on sailing. I'm sure this time around you will be much smarter in your choices and expectations. Same with women: one ugly but thorough experience will teach you a lot.
12-30-2014 10:10 PM
glenndamato
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Krisscross,

I'm glad to hear you enjoyed Breaking Seas, but I have to disagree with your judgment on how I treated Megan (not her real name). This is probably due to how I wrote the final scene between her and I. In my inexperience as a writer, I didn't write the scene clearly enough to get across to some readers what happened.

It was not a "silent rejection" at all. If you re-read that last scene between us, I do mention that I tried to explain my feelings to her as tactfully as I knew how, but her reaction was violent and abusive. For example, she insulted me and called me names, while I had always been polite and friendly to her.

When I was writing that scene (when Joyce leaves us alone on the boat and Megan appears in a skimpy nightgown before dinner) I tried to put down the conversation between us but it sounded all wrong to me. I couldn't figure out how to do it right, convey her reaction. So I condensed it a bit, then went right to the following morning.

You can debate that this was poor narrative technique and maybe you're right, but I didn't have the skill to do it otherwise - I believed it was an effective compromise.

Anyhow, from my perspective, I was polite to Megan 100-percent of the time, without ever a single unkind word passing my lips. I did not tell her I found her completely unattractive, even though that was the case. I believed that if I continued to treat her nicely but platonically (as I would a sister or a female cousin or adult niece) she would understand and behave in a mature manner.

When the time came that I had to explain to her, carefully and tactfully, that I wanted to keep our relationship friendly but platonic, and I valued her as a sailing partner, she would not accept that and she reacted as a child would.

Some people (not necessarily you!) will refuse to accept this and come back at me, "Too bad, you're the man, it was your obligation to accept her as a sexual partner if that was her choice, and if you rejected her that was a cruel and inhuman thing to do!"

If that's your position, I can't change your mind.

One more thing: note that when I discussed my own situation, I took a mature and realistic view. I admitted that I was a short and unathletic man and I was pretty picky about my dates, when I could get them. I accepted this and I did not call the women who rejected me "cruel" or even "shallow" - I simply accepted it and went from there.

Hope that helps -

Again, thanks for your kind words about the book. I finished a novel this year - I'm going to revise it and find a publisher. Nothing about sailing, but it's an adventure story all the same.

Best regards,

Glenn
12-30-2014 09:40 PM
krisscross
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Glen, I bought your book a while ago, but only read it recently over about weeks time.
I liked it a lot. Very honest account, well written, lots of good info and ideas for less experienced sailors, good sense of humor. Money well spent.

But... if you don't mind me being honest, the way you treated "Megan" struck me as really cold. Sure she was fat and ugly, I can understand why you did not want to get involved with her romantically. But she was a good crew to you and a fellow human being. She put herself out there for you, willing to offer you what we all cherish most, a gift of our true companionship. Yet, you showed her no heart, and no respect. You did not even want to talk to her about it, choosing instead a silent rejection. You showed her about as much heart and respect as all these pretty women who did a drive-by rejection, or equivalent, on you. Dude, that is wrong. Of all the people in the world, one would think that you knew how it feels to be rejected that way.
Most of the time folks get what they deserve. And unless we learn how to treat others with kindness and respect, other people will not treat us that way. The way I see it, "Megan" was the big test for you when it comes to women, and you, my friend, failed that test. I'm sure you don't give a hoot about an advice on life from some unknown dude, but here it is:

Treat others like you would want to be treated if you were in their place.
Fat and ugly people have feelings too.
02-12-2014 12:59 AM
glenndamato
Re: Newbe with no experience buys big boat

Those hose clamps come in handy - nice to have a box of various sizes. We used black rubber hose on Serenity.
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