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Updated content by Jeff J - Forum Admin, Rob, Kane and everyone else at Sailnet H.Q.
On behalf of everyone at SailNet and the entire SailNet community, I would like to offer our deepest sympathies to Smackdaddy. As some of you undoubtedly know by now, Smackdaddy recently suffered the tragic loss of his wife in an automobile accident. While I would not be so presumptuous to pretend that anything we might offer, would alleviate his loss, it is my hope that by letting Smackdaddy know that we stand with him as a community, keeping him in our thoughts and our prayers, we might offer him some small degree of emotional comfort and shelter during this time. Smackdaddy has played a key role in maintaining the vibrancy of the SailNet community for many years. Please join us in letting Smackdaddy know we are thinking of him and his family.
All - I'm overwhelmed with your support and kindness - but I'm not at all surprised. It's just how sailors are (with an adventurous edge thrown in). That's why I've always wanted to be one.
I can't type very well. And I'm a complete mess right now - so I can't post (or answer the kind messages). I just wanted to say thank you to you all. You don't know how much it means to know so many sailors care.
You just work on mending the rift in your soul and taking care of those boys. Please know that we are all rooting for you and that we are all here whenever you need us.
Until then find peace and heal as best you can,
Jeff
I join the multitude of voices offering prayers and support to you.
You have given so much helpful advise to others, here is some advise which will be helpful to you if you take heed:
Accept help which is offered to you. More than that SPEAK UP and tell us anything and everything we might do to lighten your load. It is hard, very hard, for over achieving Class A types such as yourself to accept help, especially if you are a tall, self sufficient, proud Texan, but this is a time when you must share the burden. If you cannot humble yourself to accept help for you, accept it for the boys. Now and for months to come.
Remember that you are now the entire world for the boys. They need you. Unless you take care of yourself, you will be unable to care for them. So ask friends to care for the boys for a while, while you go off and do things for yourself. Please.
Please schedule some rigorous physical activity for yourself on a regular basis. Maybe the boys also. You will need the release that strenuous activity brings.
And now a practical offer. There may come a time when a change of scenery would be welcome. We live just west of San Antonio. We have empty bedrooms for you and the boys. It is said "there is nothing so good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse". We've got some horses which need their noses rubbed. And a couple of good sized dogs which need a couple of faces to wash.
I join the multitude of voices offering prayers and support to you.
You have given so much helpful advise to others, here is some advise which will be helpful to you if you take heed:
Accept help which is offered to you. More than that SPEAK UP and tell us anything and everything we might do to lighten your load. It is hard, very hard, for over achieving Class A types such as yourself to accept help, especially if you are a tall, self sufficient, proud Texan, but this is a time when you must share the burden. If you cannot humble yourself to accept help for you, accept it for the boys. Now and for months to come.
Remember that you are now the entire world for the boys. They need you. Unless you take care of yourself, you will be unable to care for them. So ask friends to care for the boys for a while, while you go off and do things for yourself. Please.
Please schedule some rigorous physical activity for yourself on a regular basis. Maybe the boys also. You will need the release that strenuous activity brings.
And now a practical offer. There may come a time when a change of scenery would be welcome. We live just west of San Antonio. We have empty bedrooms for you and the boys. It is said "there is nothing so good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse". We've got some horses which need their noses rubbed. And a couple of good sized dogs which need a couple of faces to wash.
This is the best advice I have heard in a long time. Really, REALLY good advice, combined with what sounds like, a heartfelt and true invitation to help in a real and tangible way.
Smack, your generosity, especially in response to other's loss, has confirmed for me that I was a part of the right community. We're all here for you and your family, too. Peace.
The whole time I've been reading this post a small voice in my head had been hoping the whole thing had been overblown, after all different people have different ideas of tragedy.....but no, it could not be worse....I'm so very sorry for your loss Smack...so very sorry!
Deepest sympathy and heartfelt condolences. I always loved this poem and this may be the time to post it here.
Sympathy by Emily Bronte
There should be no despair for you
While nightly stars are burning;
While evening pours its silent dew,
And sunshine gilds the morning.
There should be no despair--though tears
May flow down like a river:
Are not the best beloved of years
Around your heart for ever?
They weep, you weep, it must be so;
Winds sigh as you are sighing,
And winter sheds its grief in snow
Where Autumn's leaves are lying:
Yet, these revive, and from their fate
Your fate cannot be parted:
Then, journey on, if not elate,
Still, NEVER broken-hearted.
My deepest, deepest condolences. I can't even imagine, nor do I want to, what you and your boys and family are going through. May your lovely wife rest in peace. And may you all soon find some peace in this horrible tragedy.
Smack, the thought of what you are going through has occupied the thoughts of many, and is truly heartbreaking. This is a wonderful community here, and they hold you and your sons, in their thoughts and prayers.
If there is anything we or anyone can do, do not hesitate to reach out and ask
The story of your loss has occupied me all day; looking at the photo of your family on your boat, I can't even begin to imagine the depth of your sorrow. I am at a loss for words.
I'm torn up by the sheer arbitrariness of the event. You and your boys deserve none of it, and yet there it is. The only solace I can see is to show the boys that it need not always be so. You will need time to get there. Call in favours and options to give you that time.
My deepest sympathies for your loss and hope the best for you and your sons in these days filled with tears and sorrow... you have many friends here to lean on... we're here for you.
damn smack that so sucks.. sad....rip and soo sad...please be ok and heal well, as you are a strong one--remain so and live. she will always be with you.
is hard to celebrate life when a partner has gone...please continue to celebrate life in your special way.
I am so sorry for your loss. Perhaps this parable may offer some comfort in this time of grief.
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails in the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength and I stand and watch until at last she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come down to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says, there she goes!"
Gone? Where? Gone from my sight… that is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and just as able to bear
her load of living freight to the place of destination. Her diminished size
is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
"There she goes!" there are other eyes watching her coming and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "There she comes!"
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