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  Topic Review (Newest First)
1 Week Ago 06:41 AM
Minnewaska
Re: How many women here own their own boat?

There is nothing more irrational, emotional and incendiary than a domestic dispute. Both genders are known to say pretty stupid things.
1 Week Ago 06:19 AM
StillSalty
Re: How many women here own their own boat?

I very recently have had the JOY of being labeled "Whore" in a local marina I'm in currently, and by a dude I was "dating". This all centered around me being able to utilize being friendly and in a community where no one actually DOES anything but live on their boats. I have no problem asking questions, doing the work, using the information super-highway, and getting %$^* done!

Of course, since I have boobs, got things done and wasn't relying on "him", this lead to the OBVIOUS conclusion that I MUST be sleeping with everyone in order to have been able to accomplish anything...since I'm a female.

Lame.
1 Week Ago 01:10 PM
Donna_F
Re: How many women here own their own boat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by skipper27 View Post
...

I'd love to see more ladies out there not only taking full ownership of boats, but being active in the sailing community and really making a strong presence. I hope to be joining the ranks of owners this summer (i.e. people who buy a hole in the water into which they throw money) and I can't wait

Sail on, ladies. Sail on.
I've met more than a few females on the Chesapeake who started out singlehanding on their own 30'+ boats and added the men later. Or didn't bother with the men and just sailed on. Most recently a 70-ish YO had purchased her Bene 33 with her husband, who then died, and she decided to keep the boat and sail it herself. She welcomes crew for the company but if no one is around, she takes it out on her own.

Except for one who I met face to face through SN, the others I met through sailing clubs. I didn't get the feeling they were interested in "making a strong presence" beyond doing their thing on their boats. The first women I met had purchased Catalina 30s like we have and being singlehanders was secondary to wanting to share their insights about the boat itself.

Good luck with your own goals!!
1 Week Ago 01:38 PM
midwesterner
Re: How many women here own their own boat?

On the first night of our Cruise and Learn Charter, my instructor had me anchor in a bay on Gambier Island near Camp Artaban to work on anchor handling skills. On the afternoon of the second day we sailed to Plumper Cove Provincial Park on Keats Island to spend the night on one of the mooring balls there. She arranged for us to arrive early enough in the afternoon to allow me some additional practice of my docking skills using the slips at the public docks there.

It was good practice because there was a bit of cross current and wind. It was a weekday so there was only one other boat at the docks. My instructor let me come in to dock and depart as many times as I wanted to get the feel of it, and from different approaches.

At one point we took a break to use the bathroom on shore and some old guy came over and started offering advice to my instructor on better ways to instruct me to approach the dock. Here she was, a licensed captain and certified instructor, in the middle of an instructional session, and he was trying to tell her how she should teach. I seriously doubt that he would have done that with a male instructor.

She was very polite. It annoyed me more because he was interrupting my lesson time. His advice wasn't bad, it was just one of those cases of, of the 10 different ways to approach a dock, he was sure that his way was the best.
2 Weeks Ago 12:47 AM
TakeFive
Re: How many women here own their own boat?

My wife and I did ASA 105/106 training in the Caribbean last March. Our goal was to become more equal partners in sailing, with her gaining more confidence and enough skills to come back and retrieve me if I fall overboard (if she chooses to ). We shared the boat with an instructor and two other male students whom we had never met before. They were all wonderful people, we got along great, and we were great friends by the end of the week. But it definitely took awhile for them to overcome their biases against her. Comments like "you don't have to take the test if you're too intimidated" were well-intentioned, but clearly sexist and demeaning. By the end of the week she had won them over. Not sure exactly when it happened, but maybe her getting over 95% on the written tests (and them barely scraping by) was a turning point.

She should have gotten more respect from the very beginning, but the good news is that guys can be won over. They're just a little slow sometimes.
2 Weeks Ago 08:12 PM
MikeOReilly
Re: How many women here own their own boat?

Good examples of how sexism swings both ways midwesterner. Men are as pigeon-holed as women in our “pink” and “blue” roles. Each generation is making progress to get away from these stereotypes, but it will take many more before all assumptions are erased.

My partner and I are equals on board. We both do pretty much everything. Underway we purposely exchange roles every day to make sure we’re both competent at everything. That’s not to say we are equally skilled at everything. I’m better working the sails and rigging, she is better on the helm and navigating. I’m a better electrician. She’s better at engine/transmission maintenance. We argue about who’s the better cook .

The point is, we have no “blue” and “pink” roles — never have. So it’s frustrating when we get chatting, usually with some old boys, and they direct all their questions to me. My partner is too gracious (and too Canadian) to overtly intervene, but she and I usually make the point that we are co-captains on our little ship.
2 Weeks Ago 08:08 PM
RegisteredUser
Re: How many women here own their own boat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by skipper27 View Post
.....The bit that ticks me off is when we (my ex bf and I) would pull into a harbor, another cruiser would come over and immediately start talking to him ......
Did that surprise you?
Did you find it unusual?
2 Weeks Ago 07:02 PM
gamayun
Re: How many women here own their own boat?

Awesome perspective, Midwesterner! Assumptions about gender/culture/ethnicity/religion/whatever drive me crazy, but it's hard not to either fall into the same mindset or to feel oft put by them when affected directly. A smile and gentle correction usually set most people straight Women who handle their boats are, as a whole, breaking gender norms, which is a good thing for everyone, especially the younger people who are just forming their own mindsets.
2 Weeks Ago 04:56 PM
skipper27
Re: How many women here own their own boat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by midwesterner View Post

Funny world.
Whew yeah I hear you! Thanks for being a stand-up guy - i.e. an overall good person who doesn't give a hoot about the stereotypical gender roles. Hopefully someday it won't be strange to see stay-at-home dads and lady captains!
2 Weeks Ago 04:08 PM
midwesterner
Re: How many women here own their own boat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by skipper27 View Post
Joining this thread late, but I'll chuck my 2 cents in.

The bit that ticks me off is when we (my ex bf and I) would pull into a harbor, another cruiser would come over and immediately start talking to him about the passage and the intricacies of our boat, without so much as a glance at me...little did they know that my ex had no idea how to sail, and I, 'the woman' on board, was the licensed captain. Ugh.

Sail on, ladies. Sail on.
I saw that in action when I took my week long Cruise and Learn charter and course. Our live aboard instructor was a petite woman who was a couple of decades younger than me. When we stopped in a marina, she had me take the helm to get the boat handling and docking experience. She stood near me and gave me quiet instruction so it wasn't obvious that I was newbie.

Guys who came on the dock to catch our lines would ask me how I wanted to be tied off. The first couple of times she hesitated to speak. I guess, as a Canadian, she had heard that some American men have fragile egos and she didn't want to embarrass me. The first time I just said, "I don't know. I'm a student sailor. This the first time I've ever docked a sailboat. You'll have to ask my sailing instructor here." She seemed amused by the looks on guys' faces. It happened the whole week.

It happens the other way around as well. I was a stay at home dad with our kids, when they were little and I am the cook in our house. After 29 years of marriage, we still get friends who occasionally forget and compliment my wife on dinner. She will say, "Oh, thank him. He did all the cooking."

When I used to take my kids to the park with all the moms, when my kids get hurt and come to me crying, there would occasionally be a woman who would step in their path and swoop them up to comfort them. I encountered occasional women who would come over and offer to take my child from my arms to take care of them. It happened the most with my daughter. There seemed to be something about some of the women that they felt that a girl really needed comforting from a mom and not a dad.

I frequently had women say, "Oh, that's nice that you help your wife by taking the kids." I'd say, "Actually I have them all day everyday. She helps me taking them on Saturdays."


Funny world.
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