Siiigggghhhhh. James, James, James...okay, I'll take the time to answer in more detail.
As always, you're entitled to your opinion, but let me lay out why I think you are seriously myopic and hopelessly holier-than-thou on this topic. Let's look at some of your statements that are pretty full of judgmental condescension and just plain silly.
Are you looking for an endorsement of your parenting? Meet with a child psychologist or family counselor to discuss your plans.
Worried about violating the law? Consult with a family law lawyer in your jurisdiction, or better yet, call the state department of social services for your city or county for their view and/or input.
Many would think that is o.k., particularly on a forum like this - imaginary-sailing-make-believe-happy land; many would disapprove for various valid reasons, particularly given the small size of the boat for a family.
Are you yourself looking for endorsement of your own parenting and your own choices in life, James? Well, I can pretty much guarantee that "many would think that is o.k., ; many would disapprove for various valid reasons". Yours has never been proven to be the "best" or "only" way to raise healthy, happy, productive children. That too, I can guarantee. There is a whole world of evidence out there on which to draw that conclusion...some of it below.
I believe, you, as a good parent, should put your child's best interests above your own desires.
That's fine. Others, like me, believe that good parenting also means having and enjoying
shared desires, interests, and activities. Being together. Enjoying one another. It works pretty well from what I've experienced and seen.
Why don't you state the pros and cons here so we can better evaluate your motives, interests, values and priorities?
...or do you really just want approval and not any opinions contrary to your own?
This is just ridiculous. Does
anyone really owe you ("us") this on a forum? Please.
Exactly, and parental love means sacrifice. You give up being Peter Pan pursuing the next adventure, and start being the adult who sacrifices to provide his or her child with every opportunity possible.
Every opportunity possible...
except living together on a boat? Seriously?
The OP needs to grow up, start acting like a parent, and stop looking for the next adventure.
The saddest thing is the parent who justifies the pursuit of his own desires as somehow being best for the child.
Do you realize you still have no idea what the OP's real motivations are? Is that stopping you from judging him?
"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."
1 Corinthians 13:11
Matthew 7:1-3.
1 John 4:7-10.
I find it comical that some of you judge the appropriateness of a child's environment by the child's level of happiness.
The child might be happiest if the child were allowed to eat chocolate cake and ice cream all the time, live in a tree fort, and not have to go to school.
Can you point to anyone who is advocating this - or are you just being comically hyperbolic?
What I referred to is "the best interests of the child" as the appropriate standard. Children do no know what is best for them. Their parents or adults in charge of them should be doing what is best for the children, not what makes them happiest, and certainly not what makes the parents happiest. Contentment is the result of a life well-lived, not an appropriate goal.
Children often like childish choices by the parent. Being a parent is difficult. The parent who refuses to grow up and aims to make the child happy ends up with an irresponsible, spoiled brat, who may later follow the same path, which might include being unable to earn a decent living and having to live aboard a small boat at the expense of the development of his or her children.
A parent's job is to try to give his or her child every opportunity to reach his or her potential and become a healthy, loving, productive member of society. That would include allowing the child to reach his or her full emotional, psychological, physical and intellectual potential. This gives the child the full range of choices when he or she becomes an adult.
Living aboard a boat limits the possible opportunities for the child. If nothing else, it certainly limits the physical potential. It is really that simple.
I find it comical that you really think "it is really that simple". There are many, many examples of children being happily and successfully raised on boats. Quick ones that come to mind are our very own Cruisingdad and his wife and boys, and the Bumfuzzles, and Liz Copeland. Oh, and then there's BJPorter (here and over on SA). They've been on the boat a long time - and their teenage son just apprenticed with Bob Perry. No atrophied limbs or broken minds, just really bright productive kids. Now how the hell did that happen?
These families alone blow your thesis apart. And this is just a very small sampling. The boat has virtually nothing to do with it. It is really that simple.
What is not addressed in this thread is whether this is really a choice, or whether they must live aboard a boat because they cannot afford a home in a nice, safe community somewhere...
Again, what business is that of yours or ours? The OP is asking about what it's like living on a smaller boat. That's it. He's not asking for your definition of what exactly a "nice, safe community" means, or financial planning advice from you, or your critique/approval of the live aboard lifestyle.
...or, do what most of us do, own a house and a boat! What an amazing concept! Then you can enjoy all the comforts of home, and spend time on the boat when you want to. Your child can enjoy the magical experience of being on a boat, while he or she resides in the best possible environment on land.
Good for you. Not everyone has the ability or desire to own both. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Right now, my four year old is enrolled in lessons for 4 sports: gymnastics, soccer, swimming and Tae Kwon Do. My wife takes him to the library and the playground almost every day.
In the evening or weekends, he and I can easily walk into our fenced backyard and play frisbee with our dog, or throw a baseball around. He can also ride his bike in the street anytime he wants, with our supervision, and play with the neighborhood kids. We live in the best elementary school district in the area.
Your child will never be able to enjoy those advantages living full time aboard a boat. It is simply too difficult. Living in a single-family detached home with a yard in a safe suburban neighborhood is the best and easiest way to give your child a decent upbringing. Then go boating when you feel like it.
This is just so ridiculous I don't even know where to start. What do you think living aboard a boat means? Locking the hatch and never venturing outside? You are seriously doing this whole sailing thing wrong.
Why can't kids who live on a boat be in 4 sports if they want to? Are you really that misguided?
And, BTW, why don't you post a picture of your "safe, fenced backyard" so "
we can better evaluate if it's adequate for the well-being of your children".
See, I can absolutely guarantee you that the several play areas in our marina are WAY bigger and better than your backyard. Why, we were playing frisbee just last weekend in our lush, palm-tree-lined "yard" and having a blast. And we also have two playgrounds, two tennis courts, lots of verandas with grills where we played the ukulele and sang together, and two pools (that we use a lot). It's really an incredibly nice place. And safe.
That's why this particular statement is beyond ridiculous:
Almost any apartment complex would be better than a boat in a marina. Remember, you can own a boat in addition to your regular dwelling. The sad truth is some marinas have become the modern equivalent of a trailer park, with a bunch of rent beaters/societal drop outs walking around barefooted and shirtless, beer can in hand. Sorry, that is not the best environment to produce a child with the maximum potential to live his or her life as he or she chooses as an adult.
Psst - some of "those people" you shield your children from also live in apartments. Why, I bet even some people on your own block probably drink too much beer without shoes on...and worse.
You are definitely a piece of work, James.
There is a range of views on parental responsibilities, from the very low expectations of keeping your child alive until age 18, to the high expectations of grooming your child to be successful in life.
The parents in the circles I run in are doing everything they can for their children, including sacrificing their personal wants.
I have no doubt that's what everyone in
your particular circle is doing. But I also have a strong hunch
career (the parents' choice) is taking up a huge amount of the invaluable time that could otherwise being going to the kids. There are many ways to define "sacrifice", James. You ever heard the song "Cats in the Cradle"?
People who choose to live on a boat with their children in a marina because they cannot afford both a decent home in a good neighborhood and the boat they want are making a terrible decision with misplaced priorities.
Again your apparent self-righteousness and arrogance are truly impressive. I must say.
Some do not put sailing, or any other activity, in it proper perspective. In the grand scheme of things, sailing or owning a boat is not very important, particularly when you have children.
It is merely a pastime, a hobby, a sport, a leisure-time activity. Some of you have elevated it to a position totally out of proportion to the important things in life (like someone who has 10,000 posts and spends all his time on this forum?) I really don't care how that affects your personal life; but, when you involve your children and you ask others advice, you might find many disagree with your choices and your lifestyle.
I've listed several examples above of people very successfully doing precisely what you say is not possible. I don't think there's much else to say...except that, in the general scheme of things, you're clearly wrong as to the pros and cons of living on a boat.
Now, size of boat, that might be another conversation. You know, like the one regarding the OP's post?