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Go Back   SailNet Community > General Interest > General Discussion (sailing related) > wasn''t anyone scared?
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Topic Review (Newest First)
12-30-2005 11:20 AM
jared
wasn''''t anyone scared?

Imonson-
<<ive never done anything like this before and im scared of >> You probably should have a head-to-head discussion with your boyfriend. If your relationship is going to go anywhere, you should be able to talk to each other about needs and fears.
And, it is TOTALLY NORMALLY to be afraid, or at least apprehensive, about something like this. There are serious issues that the two of you should explore BEFORE setting out on a Pacific megatrip and if he''s a good sailor...he''ll take both you and the boat out of a series of shake-down cruises before trying the big one. That''s only common sense.
You go out for an overnight, to get a feel for the boat and the whole overnight cycle on it. Then you go a little further, offshore out of sight of land, again, to get used to the sight of it. Maybe spend a week out, to get used to life on the boat. And before you go any distance offshore, you go out sailing IN THE RAIN AND WIND to get used to bad weather--which hits everyone sooner or later--and to build some confidence in high winds.
Anyone who just takes it all on at once, without needing to do it that way, is just a reckless daredevil.
You apparently aren''t a blue-sea sailor (and that''s no insult) so you have no way to tell if the bf is competent at sea. That''s reason alone to worry, and he shouldn''t have any macho problems with saying "Come out for a day, two , three, let''s get you used to this" because at sea, you will have to be an equally competent PARTNER, not just "the little lady" in a glass house.
Comfort in wind and weather and out of sight of sea just takes some time to build. Maybe you will, or maybe you''ll decide (like 99% of all people) that life on shore in a warm dry house is just way more sane. I''m not saying the majority is correct on that <G> just that it is a common thought.<G>
If the Big Trip is going to be right, and the two of you are going to be equally happy with it...he can afford to take some time and bring up your comfort level. Better to find out now, than to abandon ship in Osaka and find yourself flying home solo.
My mother asks me "How can you sleep at night in a little boat all the way out there?" and I tell her, either I can sleep (trusting the watch to deal with things) and the boat is safe, or the boat is sinking. Easy, only two choices, sink or bail. Then Bail or abandon ship or go back to sleep. EASY CHOICES.<G> Well, for some people, sometimes.<G> Sleeping ashore and listening to car alarms and street noises and crazy neighbors...to me, that''s more worrisome than "are we sinking?"
You''re entitled to some time and patience, to make up your own mind and reach your own comfort zone.
12-29-2005 07:18 AM
Sailormon6
wasn''''t anyone scared?

It scares me every time I have to back my van, with its obstructed vision, out of a parking space at the mall. Fear is a normal part of life, whether you spend your life on land or at sea. Fear is good to the extent that it causes you to take reasonable precautions to ensure a good outcome. It''s bad if it prevents you from enjoying reasonably safe and rewarding life experiences. Sailors minimize risk by careful planning, and anticipating all the possibilities. Prepare carefully and enjoy the beauty of this sport.
12-28-2005 11:21 AM
Valdare
wasn''''t anyone scared?

I recently read an article written by a sea going captain of some 30 years. It was written on the eve of a regular trip, one he had made many times before. The writer lamented how before every trip he was scared. How the night before every trip was sleepless and filled with doubt. It was not until he was aboard and on his way that his confidences grew based on his known ability. It is wise to be concerned but unwise not to be prepared.

Good luck,
John
12-21-2005 11:59 AM
sailortjk1
wasn''''t anyone scared?

Sometimes the scariest part in a cruise such as yours is the isolation that you will experience.
Days on end with just you, your boat, and your shipmates.
That being said, I''m sure you will enjoy it.
Sailing the Pacific, thats the experience of a lifetime that few sailors get to enjoy.
12-21-2005 11:10 AM
noscreenname
wasn''''t anyone scared?

I have crewed with people that get very scared even in relatively moderate conditions.(20+ Knots and a small sea) But when were racing no one seems to get scared, their so focused on the task at hand.(until we pop the chute in 35 knots) then everyone’s shaking.
12-17-2005 02:32 PM
FalconEddie
wasn''''t anyone scared?

I was not scared the first times I went out, but that''s because I''m an idiot. You see, once I had time to get my eyes opened, I got scared. Then I got better prepared and made better plans and learned what "Small Craft Warnings" meant.

Now, it''s still a little spooky sometimes, and it can still be scary. But so what? Love is scary but we mostly do it anyway. What really scares me is the thought of staying home and growing old realizing I didn''t even try.
12-12-2005 12:31 PM
catamount
wasn''''t anyone scared?

When I was fourteen, I was standing my first night watch on a sail across the Bay of Fundy from Maine to Nova Scotia. It was very dark. The tide changed and soon these waves were popping up out of nowwhere all over the place (that''ll happen up there when the wind is against the tide). In the dark, it seemed like these murky brown-green waves were towering over the cockpit of our little 23'' trailer sailer (they were probably no bigger than about 4 feet). I was convinced that the Bermuda Triangle was no where near Bermuda, but was right there in the Bay of Fundy!

I still love sailing.

Tim
12-11-2005 12:08 PM
Ronbye
wasn''''t anyone scared?

I am primarily a coastal sailor, and I have been sailing for six years. I single hand a lot and I am scared all the time. That doesn''t mean its a bad thing. Its very important to know your limits and the limits that your boat has. The boats limit far exceeds my limits and everytime I go out I learn something new and my experience is enhanced and my fear is controlled. Being scared is normal, but I never let it get out of hand. I deal with whatever comes my way the best way I can and I use my fear as a means of decision making. I have heard that coastal sailing is harder than offshore sailing, I really don''t know about this, but coastal sailing is a great teacher to prepare you for the offshore. So be scared and enjoy the learning, you will be surprised as to how much you can really do. Take it slow and in small steps and have fun. A friend of mine said to me that we have pleasure boats and it is not pleasurable to purposely go out when the weather is rough or there is heavy fog. Better to stay put and enjoy the wait.
12-10-2005 04:34 PM
sailortonyb1
wasn''''t anyone scared?

Heck, i was scared the first few times i anchored out and was going to sleep thinking that if the boat started to sink, i wouldnt know and would be trapped inside. Like anything else, you get used to it. Besides, being scared isnt so bad, what is really the pits is letting your fear control you. Go for it and have a ball. You will be living everyone elses dream. have a great life.
Tony B
12-10-2005 04:00 PM
Irwin32
wasn''''t anyone scared?

Are you the only one? No. this is what keeps many people from making a trip like you describe.
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