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Seeking advice: How to sail with young children......

22K views 39 replies 25 participants last post by  vessenes 
#1 ·
My wife and I are fairly new to sailing and have been looking for the right boat for quite some time. We live near a large deep inland lake where we would keep the boat.

After months of searching for the right boat, we found a late 80's 30 foot Catalina at the right price. Last weekend the PO and his wife took us out for a water trial.

In our opinion, we were buying the boat until the po started to hoist the sails. As we watched, it was hard for me and my wife to see how we would be able to hoist the sails, steer the boat, and manage our two children ages 6 and 2 1/2.

As I began to think about this more, I am beginning to question the timing of our purchase. I am wondering if this is a purchase that I should hold off for another 2 years or so.... I don't know what we would do if we were hoisting the sales and my 2 1/2 year old were to fall overboard.

does anyone else sail with young children? If so, how do you manage the kids while you sail?

Thank you in advance for any comments.
 
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#2 ·
The Kid Thing

Sailing With Kids, etc.? Manhattan08, I feel you on this.
-"I am wondering if this is a purchase that I should hold off for another 2 years or so?" Yes<o>:p></o>:p>
-"I don't know what we would do if we were hoisting the sales and my 2 1/2 year old were to fall overboard": Then a definite "yes", hold off.<o>:p></o>:p>
-"Does anyone else sail with young children?" Yes, in the past tense.
<o>:p></o>:p>
I feel you on this because I see couples (dads, in particular), wanting to re-capture their sense of freedom and adventure when the kids are your kid's age. I know, 'cause I felt the same way.

For example, I saw a dad at the Annapolis Sailboat Show with an infant, and the dad just had to have that catamaran so he could take his kid sailing! NOW! He's drooling over the boat while the kid is drooling on him.
Resist the urge, you and your wife take classes to make yourself knowledgeable and safe sailors, take your kids to the boat yard and let them play around, while you stare at the water, look at boats, look at similarities and differences. You can learn a lot about small sailboats by talking to people.
When you've learned how to sail or become better sailors, and feel safe, and when you can compare the pros-and-cons in regards to boats in the size range you'd consider, then you can make both smart personal and buying decisions.
Keep reading Sailnet to get your boat fix knowing that you have the rest of your life to get good at sailing. In time, you'll make the right decision for you and your family; a safe decision.

Regarding sail raising, a tiller tamer or auto pilot can hold the boat while you raise the sails and your wife can watch the kids; one solution.
 
#3 ·
Problems with children on board while sailing start when they don't have something to do. Keep them involved with what is happening. A 6 year old[I use my 5 yr. old] can be taught to steer the boat into the wind while raising sail. Although they may not totally grasp the concept,[difficult for some of us adults as well] they respond to instruction to turn the wheel or pull the tiller to the left or right. It's like having a biological autopilot that responds to voice commands.A 2.5 yr old [I use my 3 yr. old] can hold winch handles while waiting for you to ask for it , help tail a line , read numbers from the fathometer display, or watch for other boats,dolphins,seaturtles, etc.... Although it doesn't seem like much help, it does keep them busy, makes them feel part of it all, and as they grow and learn it will be part of the foundation of their sailing knowledge.I involve my kids in the decisions on daysails of where we go. We have beach destinations for swim call, restaurants they like to sail to for milkshakes, and a fort that fires cannons that they love to be scared by. We started our kids on board when they were less than 1 years old. My oldest with a sail to Charleston from St. Augustine. Feel free to e-mail me if you have specific questions at scott@seaworthysolutions.net
 
#4 ·
Thanks for the help Yado and xsboats.

The only thing that is making the decision of putting off the purchase of a boat by 2 or 3 years is that I have a friend that asks me to crew on his 34 ft Catalina at times. There is also an older lady who would like me to crew on her 28 ft Pearson every Wed. night for the local club races.

This will probably allow me to get my sailing fix for the next two years, but I do look forward to the day when I can get my own boat.....
 
#5 ·
Just be sure that their life jackets fit and are the kind that they can play in with ease.
Also Netting along the life lines (we called that snaking in the Navy).
And if they love to run around, tethered to the boat... A few toys, lots of kids books and envolve them in sailing... as said they can tail a line, hold a wench handle and steer some what...
 
#6 · (Edited)
manhatten,

There are quite a few of us here that have sailed or are sailing with young children. You've come to the right place!:)

Your questions and hesitations are certainly valid and understandable. But the short answer and good news is: Your kids are a perfect age for getting out on the water.

As far as addressing sail and boat handling under way with kids aboard, you will find methods that work for you. In my opinion, an important part of making this successful is to begin with "baby steps". In other words, start small, acclimate the kids (and yourselves) to the boat before shoving off on an extended trip. Try some short day trips first, for a couple hours at a time.

Maybe begin by motoring around and familiarizing your family with the home waters and how the boat handles/behaves/moves. Next time out, motor upwind for a bit, hoist or unfurl a single sail, point the boat downwind, cut the engine, and ghost along for a while (i.e. don't make your first sail a long beat to weather). Stow sails, motor back. Maybe drop anchor and enjoy a picnic.

Spend your first night aboard at the marina slip/mooring. That way, you can get used to sleeping aboard with a lifeline to shore in case you've forgotten some necessity. Pack quick meals and easy snacks, so you can spend more time sheparding the kids and less time with "chores".

Make sure your kids have and wear properly fitted PFDs at all times when on deck/dock/dinghy. This firm rule will go a long way to easing your nerves, knowing that you will have time to react/intervene if one of the kids goes overboard. In another thread I recounted the sad story of a young family that lost their 2 year old overboard in a squall, who was not wearing a pfd. Learn form this and make the PFD rule ABSOLUTELY non-negotiable. Toddlers especially will fuss about wearing PFDs, but they eventually acclimate if you invest in a good quality/properly fitting life jacket(hint: Mustang L'il Legends).

I will also say that I think you've chosen a great starter boat for your young family. Catalina 30s are the Honda/Chevy of sailboats and it's a good fit for many coastal sailors that are starting out with young families. There are some known "issues" with older versions of that particular model, so be sure to check out the info we have here on Sailnet before completing the purchase (survey a must).

I'm a bit all over the place here. Sorry about that -- in a hurry. I will try to dredge up some old threads where folks have asked questions similar to yours. And I'm sure others will chime in as well.

P.S. Despite what some might suggest, kids and boats go together like milk and cookies. Trust me, I speak from experience. We had three kids under the age of 4 when we got our first boat (two in diapers). Boating is a big part of their life, and has enriched them in countless ways. If you can give your kids that experience, you are giving them a true gift that they'll carry with them all their lives.





 
#8 ·
manhatten,

There are quite a few of us here that have sailed or are sailing with young children. You've come to the right place!:)

Your questions and hesitations are certainly valid and understandable. But the short answer and good news is: Your kids are a perfect age for getting out on the water.

As far as addressing sail and boat handling under way with kids aboard, you will find methods that work for you. In my opinion, an important part of making this successful is to begin with "baby steps". In other words, start small, acclimate the kids (and yourselves) to the boat before shoving off on an extended trip. Try some short day trips first, for a couple hours at a time.

Maybe begin by motoring around and familiarizing your family with the home waters and how the boat handles/behaves/moves. Next time out, motor upwind for a bit, hoist or unfurl a single sail, point the boat downwind, cut the engine, and ghost along for a while (i.e. don't make your first sail a long beat to weather). Stow sails, motor back. Maybe drop anchor and enjoy a picnic.

Spend your first night aboard at the marina slip/mooring. That way, you can get used to sleeping aboard with a lifeline to shore in case you've forgotten some necessity. Pack quick meals and easy snacks, so you can spend more time sheparding the kids and less time with "chores".

Make sure your kids have and wear properly fitted PFDs at all times when on deck/dock/dinghy. This firm rule will go a long way to easing your nerves, knowing that you will have time to react/intervene if one of the kids goes overboard. In another thread I recounted the sad story of a young family that lost their 2 year old overboard in a squall, who was not wearing a pfd. Learn form this and make the PFD rule ABSOLUTELY non-negotiable. Toddlers especially will fuss about wearing PFDs, but they eventually acclimate if you invest in a good quality/properly fitting life jacket(hint: Mustang L'il Legends).

I will also say that I think you've chosen a great starter boat for your young family. Catalina 30s are the Honda/Chevy of sailboats and it's a good fit for many coastal sailors that are starting out with young families. There are some known "issues" with older versions of that particular model, so be sure to check out the info we have here on Sailnet before completing the purchase (survey a must).

I'm a bit all over the place here. Sorry about that -- in a hurry. I will try to dredge up some old threads where folks have asked questions similar to yours. And I'm sure others will chime in as well.
I agree with John completely. My kids were on the sailboat at about 5 days old. We live aboard now.

The kids will get bored at times while sailing... but they will also come to love it. My kids will often sit down below and play matchbox cars or legos while we are underway. If they want, we let them help sail. I would also add that the kids will really enjoy the destinations, especially if you get a tender. Other than motoring around (and leting the drive the tender under your super), you can also get them to the beach to swim. Just remember that sailing all day is no fun for kids - they want to get somewhere and swim or adventure, so plan your trips appropriately.

John and I are both huge advocates of getting kids on the water. Be conscious of weather, learn your boat, get the rules on board down (and be very firm about wearing a Mustang Life Jacket and not leaving the cockpit except with permission), and I believe that sailing can be as safe as anything you will do with your kids.

Feel free to ask questions...

Brian
(two boys, 6&9).

 
#9 ·
My kids were forced to wear a Mustang with crotch strap and head-rest until they could pass MY swimming test, at which point I let them pick out their own jacket. Which reminds me, get your kids to swimming pronto. It could save their lives (whether you decide to boat or not).

Brian
 
#10 ·
Sailing with kids

Hello,

I stared sailing in 2003 when my kids were 9, 5 and 2. My wife and I were total novices. I had been on a sailboat a few times years ago. I don't think my wife had even been on a sail boat. My first boat was a Catalina 22, a small boat with a good sized cockpit and a small cabin.

I don't know your level of experience, but before you take out the kids, you and your wife should be able to sail the boat. If the two of you are not confident doing that, then you should go out a few times without the kids, preferably with an experienced crew.

Sailing with young kids can be safe and fun for everyone. IMHO, the key is to have reasonable expectations and to pick your weather carefully. The first few times you take the kids on boat be sure that the weather is just right - wind around 5 kts. Before your 'crew' gets on board, prepare the boat by removing sail covers, place cockpit cushions, turn on electronics, start the engine, etc. Then get everyone aboard and motor out. Head to somewhere you will be by yourself. Instruct your kids to sit still for a bit, or maybe send them below. Then head into the wind and have your wife take the wheel (or tiller). Raise one sail (preferably the headsail on a roller furling unit) and then cut the engine. That operation should take less than 1 minute. Now you can call the kids back into the cockpit. In 5 kts of wind, with 1 sail up and drawing, the boat should move in a slow gentle manner. You should have enough speed so that the boat responds to the helm, but doesn't heel, pitch, or scare anyone. Just sail on a beam reach. Trim the sails, steer the boat, enjoy the feeling of the boat moving through the water powered by wind alone. Let the kids crawl around the cockpit, look out over the water, and enjoy being outside. After 30 minutes send the kids below, have your wife man the helm, start the engine, and lower the sail. Head back to the slip or mooring and call it a successful day.

After doing that a few times you can try both sails. Be careful to not go out in 10 kt winds or higher. You don't want the challenge of sailing in those conditions and you don't want to scare anyone with the boat heeling.

It should only take a minute or two to raise the sails and be sailing. Same thing to lower them. If you have an autopilot, use that for those times. If not, and you aren't confident the kids will sit still, send them below.

When sailing, my wife and I agreed that one of us would watch the kids and the other would operate the boat. If the two of us needed to work together, like during a tack or jibe. we would either have the kids sit on the cockpit floor or send them below.

We also agreed that if a kid went overboard, my wife would go in after them, and I would operate the boat. We practiced MOB procedures often (my wife didn't jump in, but didn't help me either).

Personally, my kids could tolerate SAILING for only 30 minutes to an hour before they would start to complain. In the summer we would sail for an hour and then anchor. Then we would swim, eat lunch, play etc.,. After that we would up anchor, sail back and be done.

The next year we moved up to a 28' boat and that was better all around.

Good luck,
Barry
 
#11 ·
i have a 5 and 7 year old now. i had them both out on the boat (Kirie elite 29) first when i got it back when they were 3 and 5. i have had my oldest on a nacra 5.2 when he as 3, with life vest and under 5kts of wind. it is easily doable, but you have to be confident in your ability to sail. i have taken both boys out by myself in good weather, under 10kts of wind. they are used to being on the boat. during sail changes, or spinnaker gybes i would have them sit in the cockpit or go below. they like being rolled around during tacks down below. they also enjoy the fact that after a tack their toys may be in a different place. :D

i have a netting on my lifelines and that helps a lot. it is very hard for them to slip overboard with the netting. it can make docking with the lines a bit more annoying but the safety factor is well worth it. there are just a few places on deck where they are not allowed to go. they are markers there so they know if they are caught there they have to sit in the cockpit in timeout for few minutes. these areas are the close to the bow where the netting starts to get lower and the very aft part of the cockpit where there is only the lifeline for boarding. since this is right behind the wheel it is easily watched, but they know they should not cross the back there because of the lack of netting.

of course they are required to have a life vest on when on deck at all times. i have many vests on board so their are plenty when/if they want to bring friends.

they can get bored pretty quickly, so give them a job. skirting the jib is always a fun task for the stronger one to do. while stuffing lines in bags is a good one for the younger ones to do after tacks and gybes.

my boys give me lots of chances to practice my MOB skills. most of the time it is because they dropped a shoe overboard or some other object that floats. they understand that this is not a good thing, and they have to be more careful. it is dangerous and everything needs to stay on board when the boat is moving. along with this they all know that it is important to always keep an eye on the article and help me in retrieving the item.

as with sailing itself if you keep your head and think ahead having young children on a boat is very doable and very rewarding.

G~
 
#12 · (Edited)
We have 6 (ages 11 to 14 mos.) Here's what we do:

Little ones (2 and under) are teathered in the cockpit with harnesses when we leave the dock. They are free to roam below once they're walking well (2 1/2 or so)

Keep plenty of toys in the forepeak- the forward cabin is now their playhouse

No one appears on deck with out a PFD. We favor the Mustangs as well- collar, handle and crotch strap can't be beat.

If the weather is breezy, they wear harnesses and are clipped on- by four they follow directions well enough to know to stay in a safe spot if we're running "rail down".

Lifeline netting is a good idea (especially if your normal sailing angle is 25 degrees plus-like us :eek: )

Teach them from the beginning to ALWAYS STAY WITH THE BOAT. A family was lost on Michigan a few years back and it's suspected that the kids jumped in in an attempt to "rescue" someone.

Get them involved in swimming classes NOW. Our 3 yo is already getting pretty good. The YMCA has a good program.

Always keep an eye on the kids. Repeat this one.

Sounds like a lot but as they get used to being on the boat they get better at keeping out of trouble and it's a great experience for them and you.
Their favorite movie is now "Morning Light" :laugher
 
#16 ·
We have a h23 and sail on an inland lake. Is it safe to let the kids play down below without a pfd on and make them put it on when they come up to the cockpit. We are not dealing with any waves due to the size of the lake.
If you're not "rockin and rollin" it should be fine. How steady is the little one on his/her feet?

Watch out for the companionway ladder (if you have one).
 
#17 ·
My wife to this day has some irrational fears of the water OR even coming in to the mooring in the dark thank god my now 22 and 25 year old children never picked it up .


The point being children KNOW when a parent is scared and will act on it
 
#19 ·
We have a 9-month old and we're doing fine with it. We have a pack 'n play bungeed in the cabin where we can put our kiddo for naps, or if we need to do something with the boat. Our tolerances for bad weather, cold or hot temperatures are not what they used to be, but we're still having fun with it. Catalina 30 will be a great boat for kids. We used to have a 25 footer, and we knew that boat wouldn't work with small kids for where we sail (gusty, very choppy).
 
#20 ·
You are coming up on a tricky age. Infants are relatively easy (they mostly stay put where you set them) and pre-schoolers are great too. But early "toddlerhood" can be challenging on a boat. The kids are wobbly and prone to spills even on dry land. You'll have your hands full, but the good news it's only one child. If you guys get frustrated, remember it's only a stage and will pass.:)
 
#21 ·
If anything it is more the parents than the kids. Kids love it if the parents do and they adapt very well and easily to boat life.. Our daughter turned 3 on Saturday and already has lots of nm under her belt..;)

She loves talking to the seals:


And Dora in the "romper bed":


And steering:


And sailing:


I loved it as a kid and so does our daughter. All winter she has been asking when we're going sailing and for dinghy rides.
 
#22 ·
All: I would really like to thank everyone for your help. I showed my wife this link and she thought the pictures everyone put up of their kids on the boat were adorable.

My wife and I will take the next week or two to think this over. I don't think the Catalina 30 will sell during that time (i'm keeping my fingers crossed). The more I think about this, the more comfortable I am putting our two youngsters on the boat.

Maybe, this is the time to pitch the idea of getting a 34 foot boat to my wife..... you know, the added space in the cockpit??!!

thanks again and I'll let you know how this works out.

Kind regards,
 
#23 · (Edited)
Go for it

The best times we have as a family are on the boat! Both kids were sailing with us at two months old, the first sailboat was a 20' Buccaneer too ;)

Riding the dingy




Some Eastern Shore corn


Lunch in the cockpit


A quick shot with the sunset just before bedtime


This one needs no title :laugher


Not to go off topic, but has anyone used a children's harness? If so, which one, I saw one in the WM catalog and am thinking of getting two.
 
#26 ·
It is just amazing that t37chef has such cute kids... he must have a lot of recessive genes on his side of the family... :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :D :D :D :laugher :laugher :laugher
The best times we have as a family are on the boat! Both kids were sailing with us at two months old, the first sailboat was a 20' Buccaneer too ;)

Riding the dingy




Some Eastern Shore corn


Lunch in the cockpit


A quick shot with the sunset just before bedtime


This one needs no title :laugher


Not to go off topic, but has anyone used a children's harness? If so, which one, I saw one in the WM catalog and am thinking of getting two.
 
#27 ·
Some good friends of ours have a couple of young'ins (3 and 5) that are on the boat what seems like 90% of their sailing days, race or cruise, and have been since they were toddlers. We've had them out with us on our boat as well and keep at least a couple of kids life jackets on board so non-sailing friends have no 'but the kids' excuses. First thought, a C30, or any boat for that matter, is a play palace for kids. Keys to happiness: snacks and drinks, favorite toys, and blankets or sleeping bags for inevitable naps. Every kid who gets on our boat just has to use the head, so be prepared. During races, kids go below for mark roundings, but other than that, hang out in the cockpit or sit up on the rail with the regulars. Kids seem to love hanging out in the quarter berth underway, particularly if you have opening ports they can see into the cockpit. We're all very supportive of their 'distraction' and just understand that's part of the deal if you're going to sail on their boat. In the end, when the kids are grown, the memories and family bonding that occurs is well worth the time spent being a bit less efficient. To the original poster, yes, learn to sail, but I'm with those in the thread that say it's never the wrong time to get the kids out on the water.
 
#28 ·
our kids (now 7 & 9) have been on board since they were babies. and now it is easy and they can't wait to go out again this year.
I think barry & the others totally hit the nail on the head: one parent sails, the other one takes care of the kids. and if you are new to sailng or your boat, you may need to go out many days without kids to feel comfortable with it. the lifejacket rule is of upmost importance - our kids don't go onto the dock or up the companionway without it on, and they don't question it. totally non-negotiable rule. when they were really young & we were doing something that required both parents, then we would put them below with some treats etc, and put the bottom board in so that we knew they wouldn't be able to get up the companionway. Ya, they cried bloody murder for the 10 minutes it took to do whatever it was, but it was safer than having them underfoot. we started with maximum 2 hours sails (closest island) in calm conditions only and would time our trips for nap time or sleep on board the night before & leave early in the am, so they would be sleeping still for most of the trip. even now our boy still takes a nap when we go out (although it never seems long enough!)
hope this helps, good luck, have fun
 
#31 ·
Lots of good advice given. given that you and your wife are both novices - the I would like to add some perspective from my personal experience.

My wife and I just bought our first boat last season a Freedom 28. I grew up sailing (30 years experience). My wife knows how to sail & handle a "big boat" but she is not 100% comfortable yet. We have 2 young girls - currently 4.5 and 1.5. (4 and 1 last summer)

Being totally sterotypical here :eek: - Women's maternal nuturing instincts when coupled with a lack of experience/expertise/comfort in boat handling add a level of complexity to the process.

For example - if the "baby" is upset, crying, hasn't eaten etc. Momma's natural tendancy is to focus on the kid, not the boat. If Momma isn't an experienced sailor this becomes very stressfull for Momma. And we've all heard the saying - if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

The way we've gotten around this problem is to always have extra crew aboard -even a landlubber can keep an eye on the kids for you, freeing you up to focus on learning to sail.

Also the boat choice, or how its rigged can affect your happiness. The freedom with it's self tacking jib and all lines led aft is truley a single hander even w/o an autopilot. Something to consider -skip the genoa if you are short handed, consider leading key lines/halyards aft.

Lastly - consider the first couple times heading out on the boat leaving the kids at home with a sitter or relative so you can get your bearings.
 
#32 · (Edited)
my experience with kids

I've been owned a 31 ft sailboat for 1 year and we use to sail with our 3 boys (5, 3 and 1).
First, I will say that it's important that you prepare your boat to be able to sail her by yourself. You should always have one adult free to take care of the kids.
We also added a lifeline netting, which confort the kids and my wife...and we define rules: safety jacket when on deck. Except for the little one (1 year old) because he couldn't handle it: The life jacket for baby don't fit very well and they can not move...so we found an other solution using a baby harness attach to the cockpit. Using that he doesn't cry anymore...
We also added a net in the stern cabin to avoid the baby to escape and roll around when he sleeps.

Then as others said, it's important to make the trip funny. We didn't have problem during summer because we used to sail few hours, then moor to let the kids swim, and back when they sleep. But we tried few times last winter and they didn't really enjoy it. They like to be on the boat, stay over night, use the tender, swim around the boat, but no to much sailing...So it's a bit frustrating for us...but they are kids...
The big one is very proud when we let him take the wheel and he does a good job when the wind is light.

An other tings that we did is to buy toys that stay on the boat. So each time we come they are happy to play with them. As we have a computer we also allow them to watch a DVD...And they really like to stay for the night on board.
 
#33 ·
Thank you everyone for your input. Just an update on our boat search:

We have now purchased a Hunter 285 and it is scheduled to be delivered to our lake next Wed. My family is very much looking forward to the boat and spending many great days on it and possibly an overnight when it isn't so hot outside.

Once question I have is where would you recommend buying lifeline netting? I found a place called Seamar.com that seamed to be reasonable. Anyone have any feedback on the lifeline netting that they offer?

Many thanks,
 
#36 ·
CD, it is interesting that you say lifeline netting didn't really work for you. I know families that would be aghast at having young kids on a boat without it.....

umm I guess if the kids are always tethered in the cockpit, and when at anchor well if you know they can swim.....then maybe there is not a huge case for it.....

What about when they were at that 1-2 years stage of being somewhat mobile, were you ever concerned at anchor??
 
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