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Go Back   SailNet Community > Out There > herSailNet > Unleashing Womens Potential in Blue Water Sailing
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Topic Review (Newest First)
01-12-2013 09:00 AM
wingNwing
Re: Unleashing Womens Potential in Blue Water Sailing

LOL @ Jane! I ADORE being older! I don't have to go to work anymore, don't have to worry about what time of the month it is, and yes, I probably do get more respect. And those senior discounts!

We were docking at a new-to-us marina in Eleuthera, me at the helm and Dan on the bow as usual, and the dockhand said something on the order of, "Wow, you're the first one I've seen who didn't crash either the dock or the bulkhead! Nicely done!"

And I was trying to be polite while thinking a very different "wow" of my own, until she went on to say that every sailboat she's seen has trouble with the current in there, and its usually only the powerboats that dock neatly. She hadn't even processed the gender thing, for her it was all about sail v. power.
01-11-2013 12:06 PM
Jane.Joy
Re: Unleashing Womens Potential in Blue Water Sailing

Hmmm - I think part of it IS an age-thing (sorry, old lady) But even though I'm old like you, Jaye, I sometimes experience what Livia and Teresa are talking about. Here in Colombia, the customs officer told me that I was his first female capitán. But he wasn't rude - just curious.
01-03-2013 04:47 PM
wingNwing
Re: Unleashing Womens Potential in Blue Water Sailing

Sorry, Livia, I wasn't intending to doubt Teresa's, or your, unfortunate experiences. Just, if we can figure out what's "different" that I'm doing, it could help us all.
01-03-2013 01:49 AM
wind_magic
Re: Unleashing Womens Potential in Blue Water Sailing

01-02-2013 10:46 PM
Livia
Re: Unleashing Womens Potential in Blue Water Sailing

While we were prepping for cruising I was in charge of gear research and installation for the last two years while my husband worked full time. I had a proportionally small but unfortunately highly memorable conversations like the author of the article referred to. Everything from them telling me outright that I didn't know what I needed (which was always possible, for anyone, but in this case they were wrong) to being asked "What did he send you in for?" when I walked in the door.

Once when I was on the phone with a store trying to get them to understand that I wanted a certain type of battery box even though it wasn't the correct box for my size of battery, my husband Carol looked at me and said "I can't believe his is talking to you like that. He would never say that to me." I mean, come on, I can use a tape measure. It's not rocket science. By the way, you may find it funny (or disturbing) to note that when my husband picked up the boxes on his way home from work the employee had put in the order for the ones he insisted I needed, not the ones I asked for. My husband looked at him and said "I'm not going home with these." HA! I love him.

It didn't bother me other than a raised eyebrow or a quick swearing session on the way to the car. I'm only bringing it up to validate her point that it does happen. And to be fair, the vast majority of time the people (men or women) working in the store were very helpful, politely correcting me when needed, and generally pleasant. In fact, they seemed excited to talk to anyone with good boat questions.
01-01-2013 12:35 AM
wingNwing
Re: Unleashing Womens Potential in Blue Water Sailing

Another thanx to PCP for the reading hack method.

In the article, she talks about the disrespect she recieved pretty regularly from dockhands and the presumption that she couldn't possibly know what she's doing because, after all, she's a girl (for example, asking her where the captain is, or asking Ben about the size of the boat when she was right there, and he'd reply, "Ask Teresa, its her boat" etc). I haven't found that to be the case, and it would be interesting to find out why my experience is different. Generational? Is it an age thing? (I'm in my late 50s, Teresa is perhaps 30 years younger) Does it differ depending on cruising area? (I'm in the southeast US and Bahamas) When I talk with bridgetenders, marinas, or commercial traffic on the VHF, they almost invariably reply with calling me "Cap" or "Captain" or "Ma'am." Generally when we're docking I'm at the helm, and Dan is forward with the lines. But once in and tying up, I haven't had any issues with dock hands looking to him and not me to pay, ask where power hookup is, or any other boat settling issues. And my friends say I'm, if anything, hypersensitive to gender issues, so I'd definitely notice!

I think her suggestions are practical for women who aren't equal partners in their relationships afloat, and need to alter the balance.
12-30-2012 11:37 PM
Livia
Re: Unleashing Womens Potential in Blue Water Sailing

PCPs method works and I was able to read the article - thanks!

I really enjoyed the fact that she gives specific advice and I resonated with the idea of acknowledging that the person learning has to be given room to make mistakes and also with the idea that both partners should consider singlehanding their vessel. Singlehanding was one of the most confidence building things I did while getting ready to head offshore.
12-27-2012 09:40 PM
kwaltersmi
Re: Unleashing Womens Potential in Blue Water Sailing

Quote:
Originally Posted by benjiwoodboat View Post
Hi all --
Curious if anyone read the article by Teresa in Blue Water Sailing this month?
i haven't read it yet (not a BWS subscriber), but I have a lot of respect for both Ben and Teresa, so I'll pick it up somewhere and see what she has to say.
12-27-2012 07:44 PM
wingNwing
Re: Unleashing Womens Potential in Blue Water Sailing

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melrna View Post
Back to the OP.The article if I remember right is that everyone is equal on the boat. Both partners need to able to do both duties what is classically called "Blue and Pink Duties". I won't debate the merits of the article only to say I believe we women should be able to work on the diesel engine as well as cook.
Exactly! Although I haven't seen Teresa's article either, I was once asked for advice for women cruisers and realized, I don't have any advice for women ... and maybe, that IS the advice: that at sea, it's not specific to women, its just about people aboard and tasks that need doing. Life Afloat Archives: Pink Jobs and Blue Jobs The blog Raft-UP (a group of liveaboard cruising bloggers, who all agree to write about a given topic from their varied perspectives) is poised to tackle this topic in January; I'll post links when they're written.
12-27-2012 12:24 PM
Melrna
Re: Unleashing Womens Potential in Blue Water Sailing

Back to the OP.The article if I remember right is that everyone is equal on the boat. Both partners need to able to do both duties what is classically called "Blue and Pink Duties". I won't debate the merits of the article only to say I believe we women should be able to work on the diesel engine as well as cook.
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