I think we need a couple of standards to make general forum hanging more enjoyable and understandable for a global audience.
Hence, I propose the following International Forum Standards (IFS) since you see this stuff on virtually any forum you go to:
The PainKiller Comedy Scale (The Beaufort scale of funny). The scale measures the actual funniness conditions of a particular post:
1 - "meh" (not funny at all)
2 - "heh" (very mildly amusing)
3 - "meh-heh" (kind of funny, but it takes a while to get it)
4 - "hehe" or
(funny-ish but too sweet to be really funny)
5 - "heh-heh" or
(funny, but only smile funny, not laugh funny)
6 - "lol" or
(worth an actual giggle, but far short of a guffaw - almost never actually loling and often employed when the actual content is worth maybe a 3 at best)
7 - "bwaha" (really pretty funny, where you actually emit several giggles)
8 - "bwahahah" or "LMAO" or "ROTFLMAO" (serious guffaws - and respect to the funny dude - take care though not to claim floor rolling unless it actually occurred)
9 - "LUAL" (your monitor is smeared with body fluids after you laughed up a lung and it ricocheted off the screen onto the desk - the mother of all funnies. This should only be offered from the ER along with donations to the poster who put you there.)
Then there's the completely ridiculous humility qualifiers you see all the time. Let's just call it
The False Humility Scale (the Beaufort Scale of Sincerity and Personal Responsibility):
1 - "IMHO" (complete BS because it's inevitably followed by the slam "you sir are an idiot")
2 - "WADR" (again, serious BS because the "due respect" is immediately followed by the slam "you sir are an idiot")
3 - "IIRC" (a step up, because at least the person is throwing you a bone prior to the slam saying that he/she may not remember clearly why you are such an idiot)
4 - "
AFAIK" (similar to 3, but now the poster KNOWS you're an idiot but is just being kind with a subtle qualifier - maybe somebody out there knows different)
5 - "IMO" (starting to man up by taking direct responsibility for the slam. Yet offering some solace that your being an idiot is just his/her opinion. Your mother might still think you're okay.)
6 - "FWIS" or "FWIR" (similar to 5 where "what he/she has seen/read" leads them to believe that you are in fact an idiot, but you still have some room to redeem yourself if you shine his/her shoes and talk the way he/she wants you to talk)
7 - "WOAD" (the absence of doubt now means that he/she is convinced you are an idiot - truly manning up and owning said opinion)
8 - "IMUSO" (taking humility out of the equation and recognizing his/her opinion as what the already believe it to be in their heart of hearts: "usually superior", this carries the most weight in sincerity and personal responsibility)
9 - "SPBTI" (the call to arms by asking "someone please ban this idiot" taking sincerity and personal responsibility to a whole new level by acknowledging his/her notion that the whole world has to agree that the idiot bothers every human being equally)
Please feel free to add your thoughts, suggestions, refinements. We want as much public participation and buy in as possible before having the UN ratify this list.
Public input will be closed 10 minutes ago. (PKCS 2).
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