Jokes of the day...keep it clean!

[Giulietta]

One day, inAfter every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then
the pilots review the gripe sheets right before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots (as marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (as marked with an S) by the maintenance engineers.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in the cockpit.
S: Something tightened in the cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of a leak on the right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume reset to a more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: The number 3 engine is missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after a brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one saved for last......

P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.

[PBzeer]

Since no one seems to have the answer, a Jamican Proctologist is a Pokemon.

[bestfriend]

Giu - that is hilarious!!! Thanks I needed a good laugh.

[tdw]

If you weigh a whale at a whale weigh station, where do you weigh a pie ?

[sailortjk1]

UM, at a Pie Weigh Station?

[tdw]

Originally Posted by sailortjk1

UM, at a Pie Weigh Station?

Somewhere over the Rainbow.

[bestfriend]

since everyone else is too embarrassed,
I don't get it.

[tdw]

Originally Posted by bestfriend

since everyone else is too embarrassed,
I don't get it.

Sing it.

Somewhere, Over the Rainbow, w...........


(collective groaning is allowed)

[camaraderie]

For the still challenged....wayyyyy up high!
Sheeesh...wombat humour!!

[goose327]

oh geeez, that's bad Wombat. Bad Wombat.